A Voice In The Clouds

.: Silent prayer :.

2012-01-26T20:58:00.005+08:00

In solitude.

Been feeling troubled over a number of things within a span of four to five weeks. To be frank, it is unbecoming of me to react in that manner for such a prolonged period and it was getting a tad bit wearisome for me to spend time pondering over it, wherein to a greater extent, there were times where I even shed tears just by thinking about it.

Nevertheless, just as I felt as though the desperation was beyond my ability to shoulder, I received a text message from a sister inquiring whether I can assist her to interview a handful of scholarship recipients. Considering I had the time to spare, I leaped at the opportunity and made a dash for my cell phone.

Speaking and communicating with the applicants had in a way provided the relief I so terribly needed. There I was, minutes ago, bent on thinking that I am going through unsolvable issues, yet here are these students, most of whom are much younger than me, bent on trying to secure their scholarships for the love of God. They made me think again on the amount of privilege I have just by being able to lead life without having the need to worry about paying back study loans, and tackling financial issues. The most profound realization was, what was I doing at their age?

It was such a heart-moving moment that by the time I completed my report, I sent a short message beneath it, with a silent prayer, stating my concern hoping that none of these applicants will be negated from getting the scholarship.

Days went by.

I was playing scrabble *I am such a geek* when I received text messages one after the other ...

"I got the scholarship!!! Thank you sis!!!"

Alhamdulillah [Praise the Lord].

8.58pm Malaysian Time

.: Darus-sunnah :.

2012-01-12T16:27:00.007+08:00

International Institute for Hadith Sciences.

A monologue:

The innumerable du'as (supplications) made ...

While in Medina, Arafah, Muzdalifah, Mina and Mecca ...

Had left the realm of the dreamers one at a time ...

To settle in a place, known to the travelers, as the ephemeral life ...

Will those du'as, under His divine guidance and mercy ...

Find their way, to live on, in the eternal life?

Fleeting thoughts.

4.32pm Malaysian Time

.: Valley of the Seekers :.

2012-01-04T22:48:00.001+08:00

Taught by Sh. Riad Ouarzazi.

The student tribe of AlMaghrib Malaysia - Qabeelat Ihsaan is bringing this course to Malaysia.

Seminar Info: http://almaghrib.org/seminars/541
Trailer: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=842010397298
Facebook Event Page: https://www.facebook.com/events/276499535727705/

... ~ ...

There was a time in primary school where I, along with fellow classmates were drilled with the 99 attributes in association to Allah. In all sincerity, I cannot dispel this gritting fact that for several years I was genuinely clueless of its significance. On the most part, I wasn't able to relate to it, let alone place any effort to put it into application in my daily life. It was only in high school that I took the initiative to grasp a better understanding of it, mostly because mum asked me to invoke one of the attributes whenever I'm feeling under the weather.

That attribute was الوكيل (Al-Wakeel - The Ultimate Trustee).

Mum :: No. You cannot go. Who will take care of you?
Me :: Al-Wakeel! He has been doing it even before I existed in this world! :D
Mum :: I'll get your dad.

Note :: Al-Wakeel’s root word is وكل, which means to appoint or entrust for the care or management of something. It also means to confide in, lean upon, submit to the One and only One who can be entrusted with the management and resolution of all affairs.

Anticipating Feb. :)

10.40pm Malaysian Time

.: Journey of faith :.

2011-12-27T14:35:00.006+08:00

Hajj confession.

To be honest, I believe we were brought back, or given a second chance purely by the mercy of Allah. We were born in Islam, yet we didn't have Islam. We have the knowledge, we have the practical, but we do not have the spiritual awakening, we do not have wisdom, we do not have the understanding. That is what most born Muslims face. Faith cannot be inherited. It must be cultivated.

Has there ever been a day where the mist disappears even for a split second? Swathed by the wretched pitch darkness of the past, one eventually finds the pleasant momentary bliss that felt as though it could last for all eternity. Thus the once lost traveler embarks on a journey of struggles, to continue living, and holding firmly onto His rope with each passing breath, hoping that He will keep her steadfast in the deen till her very last breath. During times like these, it is so much easier to let the tears fall from the sky, and to be entirely engulfed by it.

Faith cultivation is a lifelong process.

2.52pm Malaysian Time

.: Corn muffins :.

2011-12-16T11:56:00.006+08:00

'tis the season to be jolly.

In conjunction with the X'mas season, Kenny Roger's is running the "Making Wishes Come True" programme, where they have these little cards with a child's' name together with his/her wish hung on a X'mas tree.

Running something similar next year insha'Allah.

12.13 noon Malaysian Time

.: Weightless passage :.

2011-12-09T14:35:00.004+08:00

I was in Singapore.

As I haven't gone through the checkpoint in years, I had forgotten this tiny fact that I can no longer breeze through Singapore customs. So there I was, waiting and texting friends telling them I will be fashionably late due to the fantastic morning crawl. I suppose that was what my classmates had to endure 17 years ago when we crossed national borders in the early mornings for school. With a map (in the bag) and my mum's ezlink pass, just as I was about to get on the bus heading Kranji MRT, mum, gave a call;

"Are you in Singapore yet? Call us if there is anything! Call us!!!"

Mum did the exact thing when I was in China.

"Are you in China yet? Call us if there is anything! Call us!!!"

That wasn't the only thing. I spent a huge bulk of my time going places with friends in China, and mum knowing this, specifically said;

"Stick with your friends. Don't stray away!"

True enough, mum said the same thing too while I was in Singapore. After all those years, I figured it was quite cute of mum to worry about me even though I am certainly no longer that little girl who was once upon a time petrified of her own shadow. So I tried to console mum over the phone, as how I often did whenever mum starts questioning who I'm with and where I'm at. And mum, being mum, probed further when it came to the juicy bits (under her definition).

"Who's the guy? Do I know him? What is his number? Are you sure he is a good person? Is he there? Can I speak to him? Do you need your father to speak to him?"

Mum, and her cute antics.

2.40pm Malaysian Time

.: Faded darkness :.

2011-12-03T00:33:00.008+08:00

The food cart.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.

Plato

Whenever she sees me loitering around the vicinity, she will call out to me to come over. Once she is done with attending to her customers, she will then kindly ask me about my well being. Sometimes she gives me food, sometimes she gives me money. She never lets me leave with nothing in hand.

All along I thought that I have nowhere to go to, that I have no one, that I have nothing and I am nothing. Her gesture made me feel that I can do something, that I should do something, and that I can be something.

-----

Two weeks passed since then.

2.04am Malaysian Time

.: Ipomoea aquatica :.

2011-11-23T19:14:00.006+08:00

The water spinach.

Of all the wonderful things in the wonderful universe of God, nothing seems to me more surprising than the planting of a seed in the blank earth and the result thereof.

Julie Moir Messervy

With each passing day, one discovers utmost joy in patiently and tirelessly monitoring the progress of these little things, that sprout from a few tiny little seeds.

Gardening, I suppose, will be a form of alternative therapy for me.

Day 4 for the kangkung. :)

8.00pm Malaysian Time

.: Great expectations :.

2011-11-10T18:53:00.002+08:00

Of the dumbing down society.

Sis :: I saw this good looking guy! But he is around your age!
Me :: Eh? You're not thinking of matchmaking me with him, are you? *sis still has this sick fetish. the nerve.*
Sis :: Hey, remember that other good looking guy?
Me :: What guy?
Sis :: Oh. I forgot. You don't take notice of guys.
Me :: Try working with guys, guys and more guys.
Sis :: Some people have all the luck. How do you remain focused?
Me :: Simple. One of my ways to keep my sanity intact is by deeming all guys are married. Works like magic! :D
Sis :: You are one sick girl.

As a matter of fact my health is presently under siege. Blood test results indicate my blood is infested with bacterias that is making me lethargic to the core. *which explains why I can instantly conk out the instant my head touches the pillow* On the flipside, this means I can slack at home, drink yakult by the gallons to purge those bad bacteria out and catch up on some good 'ole youtubing whenever I regain consciousness.

Not half bad I say.

7.13pm Malaysian Time

.: 想要的回忆 :.

2011-10-26T20:48:00.005+08:00

Desired memories.

Our room faced the lake at Taylor's University College Lakeside campus in Petaling Jaya. There was just enough space for me to sit at the window of our room at Ruemz hotel, the perfect place for me to browse through my AlMaghrib class notes. Once in a while I will glance over at the sisters and join in the conversations, speaking as though we have known each other for ages when in actual fact, it was just the week before we became acquainted to one another.

It was that very week, in the afternoon, when one of the sisters came up to me and said;

I know we are supposed to do this solely for the sake of Allah, for the sake of our Lord, but I cannot help but feel that after we try so hard to assist the people as much as we can, we just end up feeling unappreciated. How do I overcome this feeling?

I smiled at her and responded with;

What we have to go through, is nothing as compared to what the Prophet had to go through. How did the Prophet feel when he tried so hard to give them the truth, yet they chose to hurt him instead? What did he do to overcome that? Remember our purpose. We are here to sincerely assist people, and by doing so, we hope to have our deeds recognised and accepted by Allah, Allah alone and not by someone else. Keep that in mind. :)

Soon after, I gave her a hug and we resumed our designated tasks. Later in the evening, the same sister came up to me saying she needed to tell me something. She hesitated for a while, tried to utter a few words, stuttered something somewhere in the middle, and I was still there, waiting anxiously for her to get it off her system. When it eventually came out, it just made the wait all the more worthwhile.

I love you for the sake of Allah sis. I really really do. May Allah reward you for helping me out earlier. :)

Despite being tremendously tired and weary after a long day at Taylor's, her words, and her hug gave me the last bit of strength to say;

I love you for the sake of Allah too sis. If you ever catch me having one of those low moments, please remind me too. :)

我想念她们。

9.45pm Malaysian Time

.: The shepherd :.

2011-10-18T23:46:00.004+08:00

Holding onto His rope.

We wish we can reach to your level of understanding, where we too will be able to cry just by listening.

The sky shed tears of sorrow as the heart shed tears of remorse.

Time is fading away.

1am Malaysian Time

.: Masjid At-Taqwa :.

2011-09-28T13:38:00.003+08:00

Taman Tun Dr. Ismail (TTDI).

A quick look at my feeds and I noticed that I haven't been posting any new post under the "Mosque" label. Thus I dug through my image files and found some of these. These images were taken in Ramadhan, where a handful of friends and I decided to have our iftar at TTDI, and while waiting for them, I decided to perform my Asr prayers here.

In the middle picture there were a group of boys learning the recitation of the noble Quran. As I didn't want to bother them in their studies, I took the picture from another angle and made sure I didn't have any flash on. I like how the mosque incorporates natural lighting, the maze-like walkways and the building nearby with the bookstore, zakat office, mini-canteen, etc.

PS :: The image in the "Crypting Passages" post is the walkway towards the women's ablution area.

Still feeling unwell.

2.08pm Malaysian Time

.: Disintegrated presence :.

2011-09-15T16:46:00.011+08:00

The actual reality.

When I was working in the education industry;

We often listen to the words being spoken, yet we interpret those words in its literal context based on our pre-defined personal opinions, which may at times be judgmental, tenacious views. In that process we eventually fail to grasp what people are trying to convey.

Thus, before we stop people in their tracks, give a thought on the underlying issues that made people utter such words. Listen to their behaviours. Listen to their facial expressions and body gestures. Listen to the things they conceal or have difficulties in voicing out. Listen not solely by using your ears, but include your mind and your heart to it. Strive to listen to the words which are not being uttered. Strive to empathize. Only then, speak.

Going home soon. :)

5.26pm Malaysian Time

.: Manifested adaptation :.

2011-09-05T15:58:00.003+08:00

Scattered interference.

Brother :: Why are you learning Mandarin from the language centre? Are we not Chinese enough? You can learn from us. As a bonus, we will throw in Cantonese and Hakka lessons. We may even throw in Hokkien lessons if you behave.

There has been a change of priorities, and since I haven't been able to commit myself to learning Mandarin from the language centre, I have decided to halt my studies there. Ties made aren't easily broken. I will definitely miss my classmates, and the staff, but we came to a consensus that we will make it a point to meet up elsewhere for tea-drinking and bonding sessions.

Presently I suppose it is back to self-study for me and possibly learning from my Chinese-educated brothers and sisters.

Sister :: Let her get used to the Cantonese and Hokkien sounds. Later on it will come naturally for her.

Should I be scared?

4.17pm Malaysian Time

.: Sealed instinct :.

2011-08-29T10:23:00.003+08:00

The memories of various dimensions.

Aunt :: We need to buy lemongrass, ginger, chillies, etc for Eid.
Mum :: We have those. My husband harvested them from the house. :)

Ever since mum retired, dad heightened his passion for sustainable living. At our home in Seremban, he grows bananas, papayas, mangoes, chilies, lemongrass, ginger, potatoes, yam, curry, lime, guava, etc. due to an excess of land in our residential space. He even harvests honey from the beehives at the roof. Dad takes a lot of pride in his harvests therefore occasionally he will trade with the neighbours i.e. our chillies for their beans. Mum chips in by distributing to family and the people around.

On another note, my big brother and his wife are drawing plans to breed fish and rear chickens and ducks. The advantage they have is bigger land and the land is located at the outskirts of town. This enabled them to venture into livestock and other forms of vegetation i.e. chillies and pineapples. My brother and his wife have plans to sell the produce, while at the same time, they are also doing this to ensure we have our supplies from reliable sources.

Mum :: Your dad comes in with a bucket of sweet potatoes. His haul of the day. He was clearly exhausted but he looked really happy. And there I was thinking what can I do with a bucket of sweet potatoes? I eventually made chips. We don't buy vegetables anymore. On certain days your brother sends fish over. This was how I lived in the past. Everything that we ate came from our land. There is a greater sense of appreciation and contentment.

Whenever I'm home in Seremban, my dad will tell me to be wary of the bees and the monkeys whereas whenever I'm at my brother and sis-in-law's land, they will tell me to be wary of the hogs.

Going to those homes on 16th Sept.

10.31am Malaysian Time

.: Crypting passages :.

2011-08-24T14:29:00.005+08:00

The weightless carrier.

As we draw closer to the end of Ramadhan, one ascertains that the journey to self purification is akin to walking down a timeless trail. Where come what may, one has to keep going down that path till one reaches the end of the line. Even then, when the essence of life has left its physical self, the journey does not end. It continues through the fragments in the lives it has touched, through the many deeds one has done in this lifetime.

Grasping the finer nuances.

3.45pm Malaysian Time

.: Gathering of fates :.

2011-08-17T20:03:00.007+08:00

Memory retrieved.

She is a sister who I recently came to know. A sister who in our first meeting camouflages her innermost feelings with smiles and laughter. Where under those very circumstances, she still managed to gather enough strength to lay her utmost belief in the will of God, in total reliance of God's plans for her and her family.

I was driving when my thoughts fleeted to her. Deep in thought of how I would have dealt with the situation if I was placed in her shoes. Moments later my tears began to fall a drop at a time. This is insanity. I have only met her once, so how is it possible for me to have such intense empathetic feelings towards her?

Soon enough the text reached my cell inbox. It was a short text. but it was enough to make me shed tears. By a mere stroke of coincidences, the sky too began to shed its tears of sorrow and there I was, in the car, stuck in the traffic at Jalan Ampang, crying as how I had cried when I received the text from my mum several years ago when she said my dad suffered a mild heart attack on flight and had to be warded in the intensive care in Singapore.

Through this sister I may had seen the strength that my mum had on that very day. Of how my mum told us to stay in Seremban, to continue celebrating Eid, and when dad becomes better, she will bring him to celebrate with us.

Dad :: Your mum is a strong person. But if something were to happen to me, even when she tries to act all tough, all I see is her vulnerable side. That is when you and your siblings must take charge. Help her find the strength to truly deal and accept the consequences.

My parents are still in Seremban now. However, ever since then, each time Eid approaches I will remember that text from my mum, and of how I begged my family to allow me to rush to my parents that very night.

As for the sister, I pray that she will be able to overcome this hardship.

Halfway through Ramadhan.

9.31pm Malaysian Time

.: Miraculous revelation :.

2011-08-08T11:57:00.004+08:00

Of a heart that believes.

Working in a non-Muslim environment often led people to believe there is little room left for compassion towards religious tolerance, let alone religious acceptance. Despite being in one, I supposed I am one of the blessed ones to be granted the right to carry out my religious obligations without any form of oppression or restrictions.

Taking the example of Ramadhan, I am allowed to return home at 4.30pm just so I can beat the traffic and reach home in time to break fast with my family. As the sole Muslim I try to refrain from gaining special privileges over my non-Muslim colleagues, therefore I negotiated with my management on earlier hours and continuing my work at home.

The biggest consolation however, is when I have non-Muslim colleagues and peers voicing their eagerness to fast. Their reasons vary from absolute fascination on how a seemingly feeble being; in reference to myself can withstand hours without food and drinks, a mere daring attempt to challenge their capability or vulnerability, to the most basic which is purely out of respect towards the month of Ramadhan itself.

Most of them do not consider their actions to be of any worth. Such was the case back in my student days when non-Muslim campus mates flicker at the idea of fasting and joining in the lavish unbecoming pigging out sessions. The fact that they kept to fasting all day made all the difference to me.

On other occasions, no matter how frequent I reiterated I am fine with them eating in my presence, they simply refused to do so and some even go to the extent of requesting their friends to restrain from doing anything which may invalidate my fasts.

To experience this once again is akin to strolling down the bygone lane. To the time where religious differences are celebrated and not used as a mean to create disparity and disharmony within the community.

Second week of Ramadhan.

12.52noon Malaysian Time

.: Faraway beginning :.

2011-08-02T15:26:00.009+08:00

Determined individuals.

Friends from Raleigh will organize a project and the monthly meet with the Orang Asal/Asli settlement. As much as I want to be there and partake in the activities, I am afraid the possibilities are nil as I already made plans to spend some quality family time at home. Nevertheless, I am sharing it here in case anyone would like to get out there and join these inspiring Raleighians for some fun, laughter and a worthwhile experience. :)

___________________________________________________

... Hands On Orang Asal Project ...

Date :: 7th August 2011

Time :: 8.00am – 6.30pm

Gathering point :: Gombak LRT Station

Register :: https://spreadsheets1.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?hl=en_US&formkey=dDF6TnlQSlFkc0pMSHUyc0Y2dFUwYnc6MQ#gid=0

RSVP :: 5th August 2011

Abstract :: Lending a hand to the Gombak Orang Asal community by building small bamboo huts to promote eco-tourism activities in the area. All proceeds will go to a single mother (the owner of the land) to subsidize the schooling costs of her children.

You will have the opportunity to learn ::

How to build a bamboo hut
How to weave the atap (roof)
Other traditional Orang Asal building techniques

___________________________________________________

... August Monthly Meet ...

Date :: 13th August 2011

Time :: 8.00am – 1.00pm

Gathering point :: Gombak LRT Station

Fees :: RM5 for members and RM8 for non-members.

Location :: Orang Asal Waterfall Village, Gombak

Register :: https://spreadsheets.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?hl=en_US&formkey=dFpCR3Rob3VxXzJQTWdHU3V6TVdJX2c6MQ&ifq

RSVP :: 11th August 2011

Abstract :: The Orang Asal are the indigenous people of Malaysia. Although development has overwhelmed the City of Kuala Lumpur over the last two decades, there still lives a small communal group of Orang Asal in the laid back hills of Gombak. The schedule includes cleaning the waterfall, Raleigh EGM [Extra Ordinary General Meeting], speech by Orang Asal, swimming and lunch.

If you have any queries, please drop them an email at info@raleighinternational.org.my or call 012-3386908. Alternatively, you may also contact me and I will direct you to the person(s)-in-charge.

Community outreach.

4.13pm Malaysian Time

.: رمضان في ماليزيا :.

2011-08-01T14:30:00.008+08:00

Ramadhan in Malaysia.

"Warped spectre"; taken during the excursion at the Orang Asli settlement.

The blessed month of Ramadhan has finally arrived. May all of us be granted the opportunity to taste its sweetness and achieve a higher degree of understanding relating to our faith.

As like the previous years, I plan to organize another round of Eid cards mail-away. The rules have not changed and I intend to make this a yearly event at least till the day I decide to stop blogging permanently. Yes. That day will eventually come. :)

The Rules ::

It doesn't matter whether you are a girl, guy, k-12, teenager, Muslim, Christian, student, worker, Asian, Westerner, Malaysian, American or from other parts of the world etc. Anyone can request for an Eid card from me. As long as I can mail it to you I will insha'Allah mail it out.

The Method ::

If you would like to receive an Eid card this Ramadhan, kindly send your name, home and email address to hajar.alwi@gmail.com or you may leave it in the comments section by August 15th 2011. Rest assured that I will not publish your information and the confidentiality will be well guarded.

Truth be told, one does not have to be a Muslim to celebrate Eid. Eid is a joyous occasion, thus it needs to be shared with people from all walks of life, faiths and beliefs. In this regard, I suppose this may be considered as a way for me to share the many joys of Eid, while another aspect is for me to express my gratitude towards my readers as well as in hope of bringing the relationship into a whole new level. :)

Have a blessed Ramadhan everyone!

3.12pm Malaysian Time

.: Indelible speech :.

2011-07-19T14:59:00.005+08:00

Resolution to live.

Self-Adopted Big Brother:: As a brother, I would like to advise you on a few things. You are too soft-spoken. Speaking to you is as if I'm speaking to my girlfriend, or my wife. I am not saying it is a bad thing, however I am worried for you. I am worried that other men might take it the other way, and you would not be able to fend yourself. It is not your nature but you have to be more firm. Cut your conversations short and always be vigilant of your conversations. If you sense there is an inclination towards the negative, immediately divert that focus away. Guard yourself at all times.

As a Muslimah, it takes a lot for me to ensure I behave within the Islamic code of ethics and speech when it comes to having discourses with the opposite gender. Double the effort since day in day out I typically deal with men.

Nevertheless, while strictly keeping in tune to the topic of discussion and evading sidetracked moments, undeniably there had been instances where I ponder upon whether I had done anything that could have tipped over the line. I may have been victorious in reducing eye contact, simplifying my conversations etc. but to what extent have I handled the other aspects such as in terms of ensuring I do not capture the opposite gender's fatal attraction on i.e. my intellectualism, mannerism even my eccentricities?

Therefore, whenever I catch myself in that spot, I will attempt to dispose myself from its grip by executing my inexhaustible list of avoidance techniques, namely by making a quick escape to the lavatory or any other place for that matter, fiddle with my cell, doodle or look elsewhere. I have even gone to the extent of limiting my correspondences particularly when men shoot statements that send me straight to paranoia land. i.e. "I just call you so I can hear your sweet voice." or "How's my cute and witty little girl doing?"

Some girls would adore such statements. Especially when it comes from good-looking, good-natured men. The kind of man who supposedly has the prospects to be a good husband. In my case, I freak out when I hear such statements.

Maybe because I'm just weird like that.

3.09pm Malaysian Time

. : Parsimonious imprints :.

2011-07-10T00:38:00.011+08:00

Embody the trail.

Of late the recitation, rumination and reflection of the verses from the Holy Qur'an have become overwhelming to the soul, by where the luminary pearls kept within the secluded chambers in the heart at certain times cease the ability to be contained. The only way to release is by imploring and offering supplications to Allah, while letting fractions of it escape every now and then.

Speaks of the feeling I had throughout the momentous epic journey; the Hajj where I prayed to Allah to ensure this feeling never goes away because I so fear the thought of returning to the wretched darkness.

Kindling the light beneath the grim.

1.02am Malaysian Time

.: Vanishing memento :.

2011-07-04T16:02:00.009+08:00

Luminary resolve.

This coming weekend I will insha'Allah step foot at Taylor's University Lakeside Campus as a student taking the short course "An Epic Journey: An in Depth Analysis of Surah Yusuf" organized by AlKauthar Institute Malaysia.

Being here as a student again affirms one minute detail ...

I miss my students.

4.56pm Malaysian Time

.: 说再见 :.

2011-06-21T13:38:00.005+08:00

再见不会是永远。

听了你的问题，我不知道怎么说呢。因为我觉得你没那么年轻。现在你二十三岁。已经长大了。

我想问你；你认识他多就了？你们对彼此有感觉吗？你已经知道他还想念他的以前的女朋友，所以你为什么还想他呢？听我说，如果他不能爱上你，你可以等他吗？就算你可以等他，你不觉得你浪费时间吗？为了他，必要让自己煎熬吗？

"有缘无份的爱，真是有缘无份的爱"，你可以接受这种说法吗?

我明白现在你特别爱他，但是你应该好好想一想，是不是有可能你和他有点不合适? 我的意思是，请别盲目的爱他。问别人他们有什么想法对他。因为别人可以发现他是认真还是不认真。

还有，你去北京因为你要找更好的生活，对不对？你不是剩女，所以现在爱情不是最重要的事。你应该好好找一个好工作。努力工作，然后我相信你可以找到更好的男人。

最后是，我们都有一条生活。希望你给自己时间考虑这两件事。不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑吧~

The last essay I submitted to my teacher.

Note: Please use Google Translator or drop me an email for translations.

Collectively it had been close to 10 months since I began re-learning Chinese. There were days where I dreaded the thought of going to class, and there were days where I felt as though I am drifting aimlessly. Even though at times I behaved like a whiny baby in class, my teacher and classmates kept cheering me on. Supporting me all the way to excel to a point far beyond imaginable expectations.

Last Friday was my teacher's last day in Malaysia. His return to Beijing also marks the completion of our level 5 class, on which we will move on to level 6 or advanced classes with another teacher.

Despite having said this one too many times, I can't help but to say this once more ...

Thank you 刘老师.

2.17pm Malaysian Time

.: Mirrored convergance :.

2011-06-16T21:46:00.006+08:00

Circumventing the hems.

Mum :: Some people think the duties of a mother end by the time the child reaches puberty, began working or has gotten married. Little do they know that the duties of a mother only end when she is nearing to her last breath because to a mother, her child will always be, a child.

Me :: And some people think that the duties of a child end by the time the child has gotten married. Little do they know that the duties of a child only end when she is nearing to her last breath because to a child, she will always be, someone's child. :)

My parents will insha'Allah leave for Saudi Arabia to conduct their umrah this 23rd June. Mum, as always, is worried of dad's health whereas dad, as always, is complacent of mum and her worries of his health.

Mum :: Speak to your dad. Remind him that he shouldn't wander off on his own or with strangers.

Dad :: Your mum is at it again ...

They are still here ...

But I am starting to miss them already.

9.54pm Malaysian Time

.: Little arcadia :.

2011-05-20T12:05:00.006+08:00

Linked worlds.

"Shout to the world! Because we care for the children!"

The words of a friend

With the sun shinning high above our heads, we braced ourselves and hiked through what seemed like a never-ending timeless trail to the unknown. Completely surrounded by the wilderness; the majestic trees, flowing rivers and challenging path didn't deter us from going further into the forest. We were there on a quest, and we shall carry out that quest even if it means letting every single bloodsucker suck out every single drop of blood we had in us.

Little girl :: I don't want to learn English. It is difficult.

Me :: How about we do some simple word plays? I'll tell you a funny story based on this picture but I will mix the story with some English words. After I'm done, I will ask the items in English and you have to point it to me. After that, I will start asking the items in Malay and you have to point it to me and say it in English. I think that's fairly easy. :)

Several moments later.

Little girl :: That was fun! Can we do that with other pictures too? Tell me another story!

Some people have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy.

Abraham H. Maslow

The journey may had been wearisome to some of us city folks. However, the extensive amount of warmth, laughter and smiles from these little angels certainly made it worth all the while. Wherein within this little settlement which is appropriately tucked away from the hustles and bustles that city life has to offer, we made time and shared with them the basics of secular knowledge.

In return, these little angels with their inborn sense of wonder and pure innocence showed us the path to rediscover what it means to live a life filled with simplicity, meaning and gratitude to the brim. The very essence which enabled us to rejuvenate our entire lifeless souls to once again experience life in utter bliss, joy, excitement and mystery in a myriad of unimaginable ways.

Photo Credit :: Third photo courtesy of Lacoste Jay.

Unending yesterday.

1.02pm Malaysian Time

.: Book keepers :.

2011-05-04T11:19:00.005+08:00

Advocating literacy.

Our Little Book Keepers

Initiated by Raleigh KL, the prime objectives for this project is to promote literacy among the children from the rural villages in Sabah as well as to create public awareness pertaining to their welfare.

Therefore, Raleigh KL aim to gather and send more than 211 books to children aged between 4 to 12 years old by 1st October 2011. The books; in English or Malay can be hand-me-downs (good condition) or new ones and the content should not consist of anything negative or relating to religion, death, illness, politics, divorce etc.

For more info, please visit their FB links:

Or you may email me directly. Whichever is more convenient. :)

。。。 ~ 。。。

Reading I supposed was one of the first forms of unrestricted indulgence I ever had, whereby my childhood centered around the works of Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, R.L. Stine, The Bookworm Club, fables and yes, those happily ever after fairy tales. It didn't take long for me to develop the excessive compulsive behavior of collecting every single book in the series or by the author and stashing it at every possible nook and cranny at home. Fortunately for me, I have an awesome family and they didn't mind one bit.

However, sometimes my mum and aunt will harp on me because my books are often scattered everywhere. I have it on my bed, in my bag, on my computer table, in the car, on my printer, in the living room, even on the bedroom floor! So every week I have to allocate some time just to sort and place them back on the shelves, in the drawers or if I can't find space, I'll seal them in boxes and store it in the storeroom. Just one of the nasty habits I have yet to overcome. Not that I'm planning to overcome it any sooner. :)

Hence, the moment I heard about this project, I went ballistic. For someone who has her nose stuck in books throughout most of her lifetime, I hope the children will enjoy the books as much as I did as I have the opinion that besides promoting literacy and instilling the love of reading, what we are really doing is to let them know that there are people out there who truly cares for them and their well-being.

For now the only gift we can offer is the gift of reading, but this gift comes with knowledge and may that knowledge open the paths for them to have a better future, insha'Allah. [God willing]

Grassroots level.

12.51 noon Malaysian Time

.: Beyond imperfections :.

2011-04-11T13:21:00.002+08:00

Lexical muse.

Do you remember this incident that happened when you were barely 6 years old? You were terribly upset with me over something, and in your uncontrollable state, you went as far as saying I'm a bad father and you never want to see me again. Not knowing what to do with you, I locked you out of the house.

The moment I shut the door, you started crying incessantly. After seeing you undergo what seemed like a torturous ordeal and hearing you relentlessly and earnestly say, "please and sorry", it mellowed my temper. I eventually opened the door and let you in. Even when I was consoling you, asking you to stop crying and saying that I've forgiven you, you just kept on apologizing to me until you fell asleep out of exhaustion.

Do you remember what I told you after that?

There are three words you can never use too much. Those words are Please, Sorry and Thank you. However, as quick as you were to realize your error, always remember that whatever that comes out from you is like releasing an arrow from the bow. Once released, you can't take it back. So please be careful with your choice of words.

My dad.

These days I often hear kids using vulgar words as if it's an ingrained vocab in their daily speech, whereby more often than not, they have no inkling of what those words mean. Doesn't help when their surroundings don't hinder, but it fact encourage them to use those words, often on the pretext that it's beyond anyone's control. Such practices are detrimental to society. Do we really want to breed a generation of potty mouths?

Along came the skeptics.

1.53pm Malaysian Time

.: Compounded stillness :.

2011-04-06T10:36:00.007+08:00

Universiti Putra Malaysia mosque.

A public university located in Serdang.

There's just something captivating about praying in the mosque. Maybe it has something to do with the spirit of camaraderie one gets by knowing that someone else is praying alongside, or maybe it has something to do with the tranquil feeling one gets in seeing others praying, reciting the Qur'an or supplicating to Allah.

Seeing all that, has in some ways reinforce the belief in Islam and the ummah, as well as provide the much needed encouragement to constantly strive to become a better Muslim, or in my case, a better practicing Muslimah.

Overridden priorities.

10.57am Malaysian Time

.: 散場的擁抱 :.

2011-03-21T12:22:00.007+08:00

The last embrace.

Consumed by the unbearable amount of moodiness antagonizing me recently, I voiced my melancholic sorrows to my dearest big sister from Guangzhou, China. Having met her more than 2 years ago, the brief encounter led to a blossoming friendship and sisterhood. As though it wasn't that long ago when she came to my hotel room, immediately embraced me and gave words of comfort as I tried so hard to push back the tears from streaming down. She soon became the one and only confidante who knows the extensive amount of a memory I've been carrying and still carrying for the last 17 years as well as a recent memory; the very reason that sparked our relationship.

As we walked along the streets of Guangzhou with the clock just striking half past 9pm;

Will you come to China again?

Four seasons went by;

The renovations for my new apartment will complete soon. You can stay with me. :)

Yesterday;

Thank you for trusting me little sister. Lead a happy life! :)

Materializing Shanghai 2012.

12.19 afternoon Malaysia Time

.: Rising sun :.

2011-03-19T20:34:00.006+08:00

Japan.

Image taken from Art of Aurangzeb.

I just read a story about a 9 year-old boy in Sendai. He was at the end of a queue for food and a police saw him with just shorts and tshirt on, came by and gave him his jacket and his food and said: " i think the food may run out before your turn. so it's mine. have it". the boy said thank you and suddenly went directly to the table where they were delivering food and put the biscuits there and said to the police: "there are people who need it more than me. it should be fair for everyone". His father, who drove to school in the attempt to pick up his son after the earthquake, was killed by the tsunami. his mom and sister also died as their house was on the beach. i am just speechless right now...

Comment excerpt taken from The Daily Mail.

Although I'm deeply saddened and disturbed by the calamities which befell the boy, I am profoundly overwhelmed by his ability to remain selfless and thoughtful throughout the whole ordeal, whereby at a tender age of 9, his maturity has surpassed how certain adults would have reacted to the situation.

Prayers and thoughts to the people in Japan.

8.42pm Malaysian Time

.: Vague discomfort :.

2011-03-09T10:50:00.019+08:00

Shabby peasant.

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

Came across these insightful verses while I was reading Sis Najeeba's blog. Sis Najeeba obtained these from here. Many thanks for sharing. :)

。。。~ 。。。

Nearly 2 months since I became demotivated on a number of things. Life has become much busier, however I highly doubt it has anything to do with it as I clearly enjoy the seemingly hectic transition. Yet regardless of which path I take, the de-motivation persists. Frankly speaking, I haven't been studying at all and my mind keeps drifting over to a distant place. As I sit on this chair staring at the computer screen, I begin to question myself ...

Have I reached the end of the line?
Is it time for me to end this journey?

Sinking into 冯骥才。

11.38am Malaysian Time

.: Decapitated Freedom :.

2011-02-02T14:06:00.000+08:00

Inaccessible.

Several of my dearest sisters and their families are residing in Egypt. Ever since the internet disruption, our communication has become almost entirely dead.

Even so, Alhamdulillah, praise the Lord. Due to the communication they establish with family members overseas, their family members are able to update us from time to time regarding their current situation. To know they are fine, and safe brings immense relief to me.

I sincerely hope and pray that things there will become better soon.

Praying for them.

2.06pm Malaysian Time

.: 总是熟视无睹 :.

2011-01-29T10:13:00.003+08:00

When ignorance is a bliss.

The piggy back ride in Maher Zain's Insha'Allah MV made me remember something which I've forgotten for a very long time.

Whenever dad prays, I will quietly watch him from a distance. One day dad asked whether I wanted to pray with him. I didn't know what praying was. All I knew was he was reciting things in a language I couldn't understand.

Me :: I can't. I don't know what you read when you're praying.
Dad :: You don't have to read anything. Just follow me. That is good enough. :)

Dad spread a prayer mat next to his and began praying. I tried to follow his movements, and when I couldn't see clearly, I will edge closer to him to the point that I was almost touching him. I was still a child; a highly inquisitive child for that matter.

That night mum reprimanded me. Dad overheard and he spoke calmly to mum in their room. Although it happened a long time ago, and I knew I wasn't supposed to listen to their conversation, I briefly heard dad saying;

I asked her to pray with me. If anybody needs reprimanding, it is me. Reprimand me for doing my duty as a dad who is trying to guide his daughter towards God.

My parents are home. :)

10.14am Malaysian Time

.: Quiver me not :.

2011-01-21T16:50:00.005+08:00

Shelling it out.

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
Franz Kafka

One at a time.

4.52pm Malaysian Time

.: Wilted views :.

2011-01-10T16:15:00.013+08:00

Weightless thoughts.

Last Saturday, a group of friends and I went to Ipoh to attend a gathering. It was my first time attending and I didn't know what to expect. Even while I was in the car sandwiched in between 2 breathtakingly beautiful ladies, I was still in a clueless state. It was only when everybody had broken the ice that I managed to grasp the gist of our gathering.

Usually I am very cautious and selective when participating in any gatherings with an Islamic theme. But I still took my chances on this one. :)

Alhamdulillah the gathering went quite well. As a born muslimah who had once upon a time taken Islam for granted, I guess I can never get tired of listening to revert stories of any kind. I'm sure everybody has a revert story of their own, and every story has a significant impact and wisdom. I won't blog much as many others have blogged about it.

Please click on the links:

Life of a Reverted Muslim - Malaysia Reverted Muslim Gathering @ Ipoh 8 Jan 2011
Another Chinese Muallaf - Reviews on Malaysia Reverted Muslim Gathering @ Ipoh 8 Jan 2011

All I have to say is we may have had our differences, however through a healthy change of views I believe one can learn to reflect and better oneself. A short reminder when the going gets tough:

Regardless of the situation, keep an open mind. Couple that with sincere, relentless efforts. Also pray and beseech to our Lord for his guidance, strength and protection. Constantly remember He is with us at all times and that He shall provide what He decides is best for us based on His terms. Lastly, believe that things shall eventually fall into place. Insha'Allah. :)

On that day every individual may come as strangers, but at the end of the day we went back as brothers and sisters.

Alhamdulillah. :)

9.12pm Malaysian Time

.: Cascading frames :.

2011-01-10T15:27:00.006+08:00

Marking the end of hibernation mode.

Kindly accept my apologies for the sudden disappearance. After taking a month-long hiatus to focus more on my offline life *yes, I do have a real life ... :)*, I decided to return to the public blogging sphere, and juggle both lives again. It will be a while till I regain my writing muse, hence please do not expect much from me. However I shall attempt to post frequently, Insha'Allah. :)

Have a blessed week everyone!

3.54pm Malaysian Time

.: Timely departure :.

2010-11-24T14:17:00.013+08:00

The demise of my granduncle.

Days went by, but the air was still stifled with streaks of grief and anguish. Only today do I feel as though normalcy had returned to our household.

Since my toddler years, my late granduncle fondly calls me "Siti Kaya" whenever I feel heavy in the dumps. The pet name was a reminder of my inability to pronounce "S". I used to get really peeved each time he calls me that, until one day he propped me on his lap and said;

"I initially did that to tease you, but I truly hope that one day you will grow up to be someone who is "Kaya" *rich* in values. :)".

His last words on 20 Nov were;

"Are you leaving already?"

That was when he looked pass me and I knew it won't be long until I lose him. That I can no longer hear my beloved granduncle calling me "Siti Kaya" anymore ...

انّا للہ و انّا الیه راجعون
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un
Verily we belong to God and to God we shall return.

May Allah S.W.T accept his good deeds, forgive his wrongdoings and place him among His beloved.

Resuming working life.

2.31pm Malaysian Time

.: Kolam :.

2010-11-22T12:50:00.008+08:00

Bedazzled.

These magnificent vibrant "Kolams" were part of the Deepavali @ Diwali celebrations decorations displayed at the concourse area of Midvalley Megamall. Just by looking at it, I can't imagine the amount of time it took to create these laborious designs.

I was perpetually bowled over by its splendor.

1.16pm Malaysian Time

.: Eid Al-Adha :.

2010-11-16T08:22:00.009+08:00

临潭县.

Malaysia will celebrate Eid Al-Adha tomorrow, Insha'Allah. Although it had been several years since I performed my pilgrimage, the memories are still very much intact. Seeing the pilgrims in the telly only intensifies the longing to go there again. Perhaps God will give me the chance to do so within the next 10 years.

Commonly Muslims will do their qurban if they can afford to do so during this time. Coincidentally, I found out that one of my friends from Lintan, Gansu China organizes the qurban yearly at his hometown. If anyone wants to do their qurban there next year or need further information, just shoot me an email and I'll link him to you, Insha'Allah.

With that, I take this space and time to wish everyone ...

Selamat Hari Raya Haji @ Qurban!

May you have a blessed holiday with your loved ones!

The journey begins.

8.46am Malaysian Time

.: 累 :.

2010-11-08T11:47:00.005+08:00

Tired.

Just occurred to me that I haven't been blogging much here; which is a stark contrast to my private blog. I had been occupied with work and classes, therefore leaving little time for me to do much of anything else. No material equates to nothing spectacular to post about. :)

In one way or the other, I supposed throughout the last few weeks I have joined with the ranks of the bored, monotonous and the restless. Even so, I just want to tell my readers that I am still alive and well. I know that I haven't been prudent in responding to emails, but I will get on to it Insha'Allah.

On this bright and clear Monday, I hope everybody starts this brand new week with a positive spirit. :)

Time sure flies.

12noon Malaysian Time

.: Monumental eclipse :.

2010-10-17T23:15:00.003+08:00

Scattered here and yon.

Sometimes ten seconds feel longer than a quarter of a century.

Sometimes.

11.22pm Malaysian Time

.: Scavenger :.

2010-10-11T10:40:00.008+08:00

Dirt and rubble.

He diligently rummaged through the piles of rubbish. The foul stench and scorching sun didn't matter to him. A decent looking young man who couldn't possibly be more than his late 20s, he finally grabbed 2 toolboxes, a couple of garbage bags and placed it on his carrier. Seemingly satisfied with his haul of the day, he left the premises.

... ~ ...

I was doing my work from home when I heard the postman delivering the mail. Half an hour later I decided to check our mail. As I was about to step out of the house, that was when I saw a man loitering around our garbage bin. He didn't look like the garbage collectors, so I decided to peek through the curtains and observe his behavior.

In some areas in the city we can still find someone rummaging through rubbish looking for recyclable materials. However, this was my first time seeing someone doing that at a residential area. I had mixed feelings. Part of me wanted to go and offer him assistance of any kind. Another part restricts me from doing that because of safety reasons.

Just hope that whatever he found then, will be useful for him and possibly his family.

Oscar the Grouch.

11.13am Malaysian Time

.: 伊斯兰教 :.

2010-10-02T09:52:00.007+08:00

Islam.

Pls click on the images to enlarge it

Brother Ikhwan wrote a blog entry relating his experience at PERKIM HQ; [A Trip to PERKIM HQ], where he also posted some images of the Islamic reading materials he obtained while he was there.

As I have a small collection of my own written in Chinese, I felt called upon to share it here particularly to my Chinese Muslim friends since I've heard it's not easy for them to get it. Some of these books were published in Malaysia while others were brought over from China, Singapore and Turkey.

If anyone wants to read any of this, I'm not too sure whether I can purchase/source the overseas publications since it was gifted to me some time ago. However, I am willing to lend, photocopy or scan the contents for you. Should you require additional reading materials, I can try asking friends in PERKIM and MACMA.

Sharing knowledge.

10.34am Malaysian Time

.: Wednesday :.

2010-09-29T08:58:00.008+08:00

Another rainy day.

At a Chinese Muslim Restaurant in Shenzhen.

The owner was speaking in super lighting speed slurry Chinese. I guess the owner is in his early 40s, a merry guy who is very generous with his smiles and laughter. Acknowledging my incompetence, I gave up any efforts to comprehend his speech and chose to focus on something much more interesting; like the colorful menu while my friend kept him entertained.

Me :: What did he say?
Friend :: I don't know.
Me :: What do you mean?
Friend :: His dialect is a little different. He was asking where are you from, and are you a Muslim. I told him you're from Malaysia, and ya. He told me he heard Malaysia is famous for aerobics.
Me :: Aerobics? You just made that up right?
Friend :: I'm serious. He did say that.
Me :: Aerobics??? ... but why aerobics? *starts looking at the menu again; so many good food, too little time to try them all!*
Friend :: Beats me.

My friend had such a stoic expression on his face that I couldn't possibly think he was lying when he said that. But really ... why aerobics? Why?

PS :: This may be a little belated, but Happy Mid-Autumn Festival *中秋节快乐* to everyone! I still have one mooncake sitting in the fridge. :)

Hitting the books.

9.10am Malaysian Time

.: 覆水難收 :.

2010-09-20T09:18:00.005+08:00

Opening chapter.

Global Hanyu & Culture College (GHCC) is a leading provider of Mandarin courses and study in China programs. It has a partnership with Shanghai Jiaotong University in the Confucius Institute @ Shanghai Jiaotong University - Global Hanyu & Culture Center in Kuala Lumpur - this is a member of the worldwide network of Confucius Institute under the Chinese government's International Council for the promotion of Hanyu abroad.

The Good News

After some conversations and reading tests, the teacher estimated that my Chinese proficiency level is between level 3 and 4. Level 3 and 4 touch on intermediate Hanyu grammar, hearing, practical oral, pronunciation, character recognition, and introduction to culture. Introductory class begins this Wednesday. Thankfully, there are only 6 levels so I will most probably complete all of it by mid of next year.

The teacher also suggested I sit for the Hanyu Shuiping Kaoshi (HSK - Chinese Proficiency Test) level 4.

The Not-So-Good News

The upcoming HSK test is this November.

Can I make it?

9.45am Malaysian Time

.: Sea of amity :.

2010-09-13T11:24:00.007+08:00

Friendship.

The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

Elizabeth Foley

Back at work.

12.47noon Malaysian Time

.: Selamat Hari Raya :.

2010-09-08T23:45:00.003+08:00

Maaf zahir dan batin.

Accepting forgiveness can be as difficult as offering it so perhaps out of the 365 days in a year we can take this blessed opportunity to open our hearts and seek forgiveness from others as well as accept their forgiveness. Hopefully this will mend and strengthen our bonds with one another, allowing us to get on with our lives basking in the light of a re-energized positive conscience.

.................................... ~ ....................................

:: Eid Greetings ::

Eid mubarak to my dear readers, brothers, sisters and loved ones!

May all of you have a joyous celebration!

Have a safe and pleasant journey!

.................................... ~ ....................................

In this regard I will sincerely appreciate it if everyone can forgive me if I'd ever written or done anything that may anger, hurt or sadden any of you. I will resume blogging on Sunday, Insha'Allah. :)

Reviving forgiveness.

11.55pm Malaysian Time

.: Simple life :.

2010-09-02T10:33:00.006+08:00

Rumah terbuka.

The happiness of one's own heart alone cannot satisfy the soul; one must try to include, as necessary to one's own happiness, the happiness of others.

Malaysians are very synonymous with rumah terbuka *open houses*, and although Eid is about a week away I'm already receiving invitations. Apparently I have lost some weight so friends are taking turns to stuff me; not that I'm complaining. God willing I will organize one again this year, albeit I hope to do a simpler kind.

Not too long ago I became friends with a sister who leads a very simple life with her husband and children. Our correspondences made me all the more thankful with what I have as my seemingly 'simple' life pretty much pales in comparison to theirs. Coming from humble backgrounds, I wish to learn the simple life from her too, and in due course share our ups and downs with each other. We almost went our separate ways due to some internal concerns but praise the Lord our bonds are stronger than ever now. Sincerity, patience and perseverance along with sisterly love and the blessings from our Lord made it possible, Alhamdulillah.

PS :: To my dear readers, brothers and sisters who had given me the love and support during these past few days, I thank you so much. Only God can repay your kindness.

Ramadhan is coming to an end.

11.58am Malaysian Time

.: 你不知道的事 :.

2010-08-30T05:37:00.004+08:00

The things you don't know.

你不知道我為什麼離開你
You don't know why I left you

我堅持不能說放任你哭泣
I insist on not telling you and let your tears run

你的淚滴像傾盆大雨
Your teardrops seem like a heavy downpour

王力宏; Wang Leehom

Yesterday my family got word that my uncle passed away, thus we made plans to return to my Southern home today. It was a solemn moment for everyone, as everybody silently carries a tearful heart mourning the loss of a brother, uncle, father and grandfather.

... ~ ...

On another note; please lend your support to a dear sister of mine in her noble attempt to solicit financial aids for the people of Pakistan. You may find more info here: Wings of Humanity.

A blue Monday.

5.59am Malaysian Time

.: Provincial lapse :.

2010-08-25T20:39:00.008+08:00

Differential treatment.

Last month I attended a lecture at PERKIM. Alhamdulillah, the overall experience was extremely beneficial and uplifting. There were many sisters and everyone was very pleasant. As a fresh face I had a couple of regular sisters who graciously extended their friendship. Simply said, the feeling of having random people coming up to you, smile and say salam truly comforts the heart and soul.

... ~ ...

Earlier I told a brother *the same brother as the one in this post* that I wanted to attend their classes and lectures.

Why? You already know most of these things. These classes are for beginners. You are beyond that.

I beg to differ really. In school I regarded religious subjects as just another subject. It's not like I've forgotten what I've learned, however I believe I wasn't really paying attention to any of it and I feel that I may have missed out on a handful of things. As of now, I haven't gone to any of the classes yet since my cousin wanted to join me. Will embark on the spiritual enrichment journey after Eid Insha'Allah.

Building blocks.

9.54pm Malaysian Time

.: Dawn and dusk :.

2010-08-23T08:50:00.008+08:00

When stars fall.

Every act of goodness is charity

PETALING JAYA, 19 August 2010 - In response to the deadly floods in Pakistan, which has resulted in the significant loss of lives and homes, Malaysia's Media Prima Berhad (Media Prima), the New Straits Times Press (M) Berhad (NSTP) and the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) today initiated a joint appeal to raise funds for humanitarian aid. more...

For the third year running, SimplyIslam is organising the annual Ramadan Charity Basket program. SimplyIslam hopes to raise SGD10,000 to provide food provisions and financial assistance to some of Muslim Kidney Action Association (MKAC) and Ang Mo Kio FSC (AMK-FSC) most needy welfare recipients. more ...

Sometimes I feel that by extending our hands to help the less fortunate, we are really extending our hearts to reach theirs. How else can one explain the warmth one feels each time an act of kindness and charity is done towards others? By giving a piece of our heart out, we don't end up losing it. It dwells in the hearts of the ones it has touched, and continues to be filled and brimmed with warmth.

Be creative.

9.34am Malaysian Time

.: Mutiara minda :.

2010-08-20T15:54:00.014+08:00

Membaca sambil beramal.

From August 1 to October 31, MPH Bookstores is selling the "Mutiara Minda" card. All proceeds from the selling of the card will be distributed to 10 selected orphanages.

:: Translation Notes ::

Mutiara Minda; pearl intellect; precious intellect.
Membaca sambil beramal; reading while doing charity.

For someone who seldom reads Malay books, I eventually settled with these Islamic reference material. The first two books discuss about prayers, while the last touches about supplications. I also bought a set of Arabic alphabets flashcards. Thought it'd be a good gift for anyone who's learning it.

Moving along, I'll post the Eid cards by Monday Insha'Allah. Although today is the due date, I will still accept requests provided you don't mind receiving it after Eid. Our postal service can become super chaotic during this time; no kidding.

Happy Friday everyone. :)

9.57pm Malaysian Time

.: Bazaar Ramadhan :.

2010-08-18T20:36:00.011+08:00

Kuala Lumpur.

From left to right :: Chocodate, Halal certification, dim sum, ayam madu, random lady, otak-otak.

From left to right :: Ikan bakar, dim sum, roti boom pandan.

Photos were taken at the Ramadhan bazaars held in Wangsa Maju and Danau Kota. I was elated to find ... CHOCODATE!!! Alas the seller was away for Asar prayers so I didn't get to purchase any. Then I found these guys selling halal dim sum, and they even displayed the halal certification! As usual I obtained their permission before I snapped their photos. *the first guy was very shy ... =.=*

Brief descriptions ::

Ayam (Chicken) Madu (Honey) - BBQ chicken wings smothered in honey, spices etc.
Otak-otak (literal translation 'Brains') - A combination of fish paste, spices and etc. wrapped in banana leaf; may be grilled or steamed.
Ikan (Fish) Bakar (Grilled) - Grilled fish with air asam (sour dip).
Roti (Bread) Boom (I have no idea how to translate this) Pandan (Screw-pine leaf) - Resembles roti prata (Singapore) or roti canai (Malaysia); just smaller and circular in shape. The seller diversified the original recipe by using pandan extract.

Out of the long stretch of stalls, I only bought ikan bakar and dim sum to complement the dishes we have at home. One must keep in mind that this isn't the time to indulge in unnecessary spending, let alone finding means to waste any excess food.

Note: For some background, please refer to my Arabian Delights post regarding my once upon a time fixation over Chocodate; the heavenly yet sinful confectionery. :)

Another rainy day!

10.03pm Malaysian Time

.: Veiled tresses :.

2010-08-15T11:51:00.008+08:00

Forbidden locks.

After spending hours of drowning myself in countless articles, it eventually felt as if my entire life essence was sucked into the computer screen. In the brink of losing into that lifeless stage, I blasted some high-energy teen boppy pop songs to get the rhythm back into my system. A short interim to the washroom and a few sips of plain water, I switched to Qur'an recitals and resumed my work. *bubble gum songs can do wicked things to a person of my age. coughs*

... ~ ...

Sis :: The family thought you're going to become some ultra-pious person after we returned from Hajj.
Me :: Just because I dumped my biographies and comics?
Sis :: That and a few other things, but they're alright now.

I can't deny that certain changes had taken place since then, and honestly speaking, the transitional changes are still going on, Alhamdulillah. Furthermore, I am not so gung-ho as to take the deep plunge instantly. Doing things one step at a time, towards the betterment of oneself Insha'Allah.

One clear example is before Hajj I succumbed to the "need-to-fit-in" excuse. Although my non-Muslim friends never treated me any different, I didn't like being the odd one out with the hijab. So whenever we went for holidays together, my hijab went on a holiday too. After Hajj, I still led that kind of life thus I positioned myself as a give and take 355/365 days hijabi; approximately 10 days self-imposed holiday.

The turning point happened several days after I came home from China, when a friend IM-ed me;

Friend :: I don't understand how you are able to find the strength to deal and accept things. The only conclusion I have is it must be your faith towards your religion.
Me :: If my faith is that strong, why am I insecure with my hijab?

Since then, I made it a point to wear my hijab regardless of how "out of place" I felt. I also try hard to stop folding and rolling up my sleeves *bad habit*, observing my behavior and constantly reminding myself that I am working with men. *on most days, I'm often the only female species around* Even if I don't see them as men *to make things easier at work*, they are still men; to be all the more specific non-mahram men.

Reaching the first 365/365.

12.18noon Malaysian Time

.: رمضان كريم :.

2010-08-08T18:40:00.006+08:00

Ramadhan Kareem.

With the arrival of our beloved Ramadhan I'm organizing my 2nd Eid greeting cards event!!! Please click here for last year's post ~ Season' s Greetings.

Apart from sharing the many joys and generosity of Ramadhan/Eid, and this newfound passion of mine, it's also my way of expressing my gratitude to everyone for taking the time to loiter around my little space. *like how often do you receive mail from some unknown stranger?*

Quick recap;

I'll post you an Eid greeting card, irregardless of your location, age, religion, race etc. Even if you don't celebrate Eid, celebrating it in hiding, or have never even heard of it, I will still send you one if and ONLY if ...

You provide your name, home and email address by August 20th 2010; either by sending it to hajar.alwi@gmail.com or leaving it in the comments section. *it won't get published*

Otherwise, if you don't have enough faith in me *maybe you think I might miraculously poof in front of your doorstep or distribute your address to a bunch of loan sharks* but you still have that gripping desire to receive an Eid greeting card card, I can send a virtual greeting. Whichever works for you.

Disclosure :: Any info you provide shall be well guarded with extreme caution. Images are courtesy of Memory Lane (M) Sdn. Bhd. Will send these out, Insha'Allah.

Stocking cards. :)

6.56pm Malaysian Time

.: Collected memories :.

2010-08-02T09:01:00.013+08:00

Revealed.

A short time ago I had this conversation with someone who is very dear to me. Our little tiff didn't last long, and we're back on good terms Alhamdulillah. She was just watching out for me, fearful of my movements. The purpose of writing this down is not to provoke or badmouth her, but it's more of sharing the kind of reaction I get every now and then from others, particularly the ones who insinuate religion is linked to a certain race/culture. Call me daft if you may, but I don't give a hoot about a person's race when it comes to acquiring religious knowledge or anything else for that matter.

Person :: Of all people, why can't you learn about Islam from someone else?
Me :: What's the problem?
Person :: He's Chinese. How much does he know about Islam? How far back is his generations that embraced Islam? I'm talking about lineage, bloodline. Can you understand this?
Me :: In other words you are indicating how "Islamic" is his family background.
Person :: Yes. You should find someone whose family has been in Islam for generations. Their belief are more deep-rooted and knowledge are more reliable.
Me :: If you are concerned about that then where do you place the reverts? Are you indicating they are less "Islamic" just because they don't have generations of "Islamic" lineage?
Person :: Not exactly but Malays have been living the Muslim way of life.
Me :: So have the Chinese Muslims.
Person :: But the culture is different.
Me :: I am learning about Islam, not the culture. Do you honestly have issues with this person's "Islamic" know-how or is it really his race?

Monday blues.

10.24am Malaysian Time

.: Afterglow :.

2010-07-29T11:28:00.005+08:00

Wings of your imagination.

Yesterday was one of those days where I sat on my desk, looked out of the windows and stared at the leaves and branches dancing gently to the soft whispers of the breeze. The sky was clear, and not a tint of gray was in sight. As I sat transfixed in my solitary moment of peace and tranquility, I heard the sound of pearl drops coming from the corner fountain. Other than that, there was nothing. No car honks, no bickering couples, no head-splitting rock music. All that was present was just nature at its best form; God’s gift to mankind.

If we can understand the language of the leaves, the branches, the breeze and even water …

Whatever are they saying …

11.30am Malaysian Time

.: Healing hearts :.

2010-07-26T10:09:00.015+08:00

Anticipating Ramadhan.

There hasn't been any updates on the Fiqh An-Nisaa' class. Meanwhile, I've decided to continue with Arabic at Al-Diwan after Eid, Insha'Allah.

Moving along, Ramadhan is 2 weeks away!!! *euphoria! euphoria! Alhamdulillah!* Hence I'm sharing a couple of Ramadhan-oriented programmes I came to know during the weekend. Please feel free to share these around.

Bengkel Ambang Ramadhan [The Coming of Ramadhan Workshop]

Date : July 31
Time : 9am - 4.30pm
Location : PERKIM Musolla, PERKIM, Jln Ipoh, KL.
Speakers : Ustaz Hj. Ahmad Dasuki Abdul Ghani, Ustaz Hj. Mohd. Farid Ravi Abdullah & Ustaz Kamaruddin Abdullah.

Taken from Ustaz Amran's Blog

Fast 2 Feed

Organized by Muslim Aid Malaysia; spread the joy and blessings of iftar and Ramadhan by sponsoring an orphan.

RM30 sponsorship includes a meal, moreh and green packet for an orphan while RM50 sponsorship enables the sponsor to break fast with the orphan. Contact Muslim Aid office at 03-22881996 for more info.

Taken from Fast 2 Feed Muslim Aid Blog

We are in this together : Muslim Youth & the Future

So I messed up at the very end. This has nothing to do with Ramadhan, but I just can't resist the itch to post. For more info, please visit the Facebook event page: MPF Youth Camp. I'm giving this a miss as I'm attending the workshop at PERKIM. Prolly will go for the next one.

Every bit of effort counts! :)

11.28am Malaysian Time

.: Racial Harmony Day :.

2010-07-21T09:15:00.005+08:00

Who's Your Neighbor?

The only barriers we have are the ones we erect by ourselves.

Racial Harmony Day is a day for schools to reflect on, and celebrate Singapore as a harmonious nation and society built on a rich diversity of cultures and heritages.

- ~ -

The flu bug has safely landed on yours truly, so I'm working from home today. Despite the occasional sneezes and throbbing headache, I am taking this break to wish everyone "Happy Racial Harmony Day!".

Try celebrating racial harmony on a daily basis; regardless of your position and religious beliefs.

Unity in diversity.

9.14am Malaysian Time

.: Illustrating alleyways :.

2010-07-19T09:43:00.003+08:00

Penning memoirs.

Calligraphic scroll by Mohamad Yusuf Chen Kun; Lanzhou China. 2001 AD/1421 AH.
Click to enlarge.

I tried to find Him on the Christian Cross, but He was not there; I went to the Temple of the Hindus and to the pagodas, but I could not find a trace of Him anywhere. I searched on the mountains and in the valley and across the deserts, but neither in the heights nor in the depths was I able to find Him. I went to the Kaaba in Mecca, but He was not there either. I questioned the scholars and the philosophers but He was beyond their understanding. I then looked into my heart and it was there where He dwelled that I saw Him; He is no where else to be found, for words are useless (specially sentences) and life defies definition.

Rumi

Bought this from the IIAM Museum Shop. Not sure whether they have anymore of it. With regards to the calligraphist, I found an article but it's written in Malay; Muhamad Yusuf Chen Kun, Penulis Khat Cina Yang Terkemuka [Muhamad Yusuf Chen Kun, Renowned Chinese Calligraphist]. Drop me an email if you want an English translation and I'll work something for you, Insha'Allah.

Beautiful Monday.

9.48am Malaysian Time

.: Hush-hush enigma :.

2010-07-16T15:00:00.005+08:00

Evaporated.

There was a particular incident that happened not many months ago. I was in the LRT *subway* when a group of boisterous high school boys came in. They were joking in Chinese among themselves, and although I didn’t have the intention to eavesdrop, they were too loud! Hence any desperate efforts to block my ears were entirely nullified.

Throughout the 15mins journey I understood some of their jokes, but I had to bite my lips because people will undeniably think I’m insane if I started laughing hysterically by myself. Two stops away, one of the boys said;

“I think she understands our jokes” and looked straight at me.

At that juncture, it felt as if I had other eyes on me. As if I was suddenly awakened from a perpetual slumber, I knew it wasn’t just a feeling when his friends shifted their gaze to match his and they began talking about me. All I could do then was do an instant 180 degrees turn and implored to God; “What should I do?”

Intercom :: "Wangsa Maju. Wangsa Maju"

Saved! As soon as the LRT doors opened, I slipped through the throngs of commuters and dashed to the taxi station.

Sis :: What happened?
Me :: Biting didn’t help. My eyes were tearing up, and I couldn’t contain the chuckles. It’s like they have an unlimited supply of jokes! Maybe they already know that I can understand them, and they’re intentionally doing it. I feel so embarrassed!

I had forgotten about this incident but the story doesn’t end there.

The car was in the workshop so I had to take the LRT for the past 2 weeks. On one of those days, I was responding to a text in Chinese when I felt a towering figure behind me.

“I was right. 你还記得我吗?”

Literally shocked with his presence, I blasted this at him ... "吓死我了!!!".

Note :: “你还記得我吗?” means “Do you still remember me?"; "吓死我了!" means "Scared me to death!"

And he wasn't alone.

3.27pm Malaysian Time

.: Pavilion of dreams :.

2010-07-12T10:52:00.012+08:00

At the International Islamic Arts Museum.

“Roam the Earth and observe how the creation was initiated. Thus God will establish the final creation. God is capable of all things.”

Surah Al-Ankabut verse 20

These photos were taken on my second trip to the International Islamic Arts Museum [IIAM]; specifically from the China, Qur'an & Manuscript, and Coins & Seals permanent exhibits. We came in a group, so we had a guided tour mixed with a hodgepodge of other activities. Apart from visiting the permanent exhibits, our itinerary included a visit to the "Behind the Scenes: Conservation in Focus" special exhibit and an introductory workshop to Arabic Calligraphy (Khat). Since our schedule was quite packed, I couldn't visit the special gallery which was held concurrently; "A Common Faith: Steve McCurry's Travels through the Muslim World".

The thing I love about going to IIAM is the extensive amount of Islamic artifacts they possess in their collection, and you can expect various special exhibitions. Additionally, it has a close proximity to Masjid Negara, the Islamic centre, the bird park and Lake gardens.

Insha'Allah I'll be going there again with another friend to visit the "Treasury of the World: Jewelled Arts of India in the Age of the Mughals" special exhibit to be held from July 31st until Dec. 30th. My friend has never been there before, thus we thought it'd be cool to spend an entire day there than hanging out at the shopping mall drinking bottomless coffee.

Definitely a good place to unwind.

11.43am Malaysian Time

.: Versatile Salma :.

2010-07-10T10:17:00.010+08:00

The Versatile Blogger Award.

Beloved Sister Salma from the Sole Sisters Collective has been sweet enough to bestow me with a blog award.

The conditions of this award are that:

1. The recipient must thank the bestower of the award.

Thank you so much love!. It's very kind of you to think of me in this sense. I always thought I write nonsense most of the time. :)

2. Share seven things about self.

1. I love food. *what's new?*

2. I love food photography. *To my FB friends; there's more to come!*

3. I'm trying to make it a habit to eat on time.

4. I'm reading a lot about India and Terengganu lately. *work-related*

5. I'm still learning Chinese; seriously taking my own sweet time.

6. Insha'Allah, my cousin and I will attend religious classes together.

7. I managed to curb my compulsive obsession to purchase books.

3. Bestow the award on 15 newly-discovered, or followed blogs.

I can't possibly choose 15, so I'm giving it to everyone in my 'Noteworthy Blogs' list.

And I just realized there's another award. Aahhh~~~ Silly, silly me!

There are two (2) rules for accepting this award.

1. I have to sum up my blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience in 5 words:

I suppose this blog is a space consisting of random thoughts for literary immortality.

2. I must pass on the award to 10 other amazing blogs.

Passing this to my 'Noteworthy Blogs' list. Everyone is amazing in their own way.

Thanks again Salma. :)

11.05am Malaysian Time

.: Luminary spectre :.

2010-07-09T20:28:00.003+08:00

Enlightened.

Taken at the Wakaf Raja Abdul Aziz Ain Aziziyah,; Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

Several months after I transferred to a school in Malaysia;

Me :: Dad, can I enroll in a religious school? Like after school, religious school?
Dad :: Sure, but is there any particular reason?
Me :: I didn’t know what the teacher was talking about. She mentioned ibadah, akhlak, aqidah and stuff. It’s as if she’s speaking in an alien language and I felt totally out of place.

3 years later;

Dad :: So you’re quitting religious school?
Me :: My grades are much better now, and knowing the basics is more than enough.

14 years later;

Dad :: Since when have you started to learn about Islam again?
Me :: Since coming home from Hajj.
Dad :: But nobody is grading you anymore. :)
Me :: ...

Awakening.

8.28pm Malaysian Time

.: Fiqh An-Nisaa’ :.

2010-07-01T11:51:00.005+08:00

Islamic jurisprudence.

Several weeks ago I told a brother I wanted to learn about Islam. *weird huh?* He directed me to his alma mater, UIA (International Islamic University of Malaysia) and even suggested I take up the courses on a part-time basis. However, I'm not able to commit myself for a 3-4 years course due to current circumstances. *I have a highly unpredictable schedule*

Then he said, "Why don't you go the mosque? You can listen to the lectures plus sometimes they organize events and short courses." Sooner than later, I forgot about it. Until I went through the newspapers yesterday and noticed a small article about "Fiqh An-Nisaa'" to be held at the Sultan Haji Ahmad Shah Mosque, UIA. Without further ado, I rang them up and pre-enrolled myself. Alhamdulillah, the first class starts next Friday, insha'Allah.

- ~ -

UIA was one of the universities I chose to further my studies in. One can hope and dream, but I ended up studying someplace else. *everybody has a sad story, don't they? coughs*

In those days, friends and family used to tell me stuff like,

"If you go to UIA, you have to wear the hijab and learn Arabic.",

and I thought,

"I can live with that. In fact, I should live with that, shouldn't I?"

Didn't expect it'd take me almost 10 years to step foot there although it takes less than 20 minutes worth of driving to reach from my house.

Alhamdulillah, nonetheless. :)

11.53am Malaysian Time

.: Uncovering uncertainties :.

2010-06-28T15:30:00.011+08:00

Past the obscure depths hidden deep within our souls.

It was one of those days where I logged into QQ messenger to leave a message for my little brother. Surprisingly he was online so we decided to chat for a while. Moments later I told him I'll be back in 15mins because I wanted to do my prayers. That was when he asked ...

What is praying? Why do you pray?

In the past, I never query him about his religion although I have a feeling he doesn't have one. I didn't anticipate this so I was quite taken aback. His questions brought me to a certain memory. A friend asked those questions when I was in primary school. At that time, I was praying because my parents told me that God commands us to pray. I basically replicated that answer to my friend, but he wasn't satisfied with it. He wanted to know why God commands us to pray, and even if God commands us, why must we follow what God tells us to do.

I didn't like it when I said, "Because God tells us to do! End of discussion!". In the end, I was terribly upset because I couldn't provide him with a satisfactory answer. But that dissatisfaction was nothing as compared to the amount of dissatisfaction I had towards my own self. So I began to ask myself, "Why do I pray?"

A few minutes later, I regained my composure and answered as so:

Praying is a part of my religion. It is a central part of my belief; that there is a supreme being known as God, and I pray to Him because I wish to speak to Him. To tell him about my worries, my hopes, my dreams, my sadness, my anger ... anything. Because of that, I can find inner peace, comfort and salvation. I feel relieved because I am able to let my feelings out, and I know God is always there for me so I also thank Him through my prayers.

Perhaps last week was the unofficial praying curiosity week, or my friends and I happened to go online during prayer times. Two other friends; both are atheists also asked the exact questions.

Note : My little brother is not related to me by blood.

感谢真主.

4.36pm Malaysian Time

.: Sg Wang Restaurant :.

2010-06-28T10:39:00.010+08:00

Pearl of the Orient.

5 Combination Dish (五福临门)

In case you're craving for some halal Chinese food in Penang, try visiting my friend's restaurant. The vegetable dishes are priced from RM8, marmite chicken and home made bean curd are RM8 above while the curry fish fillet starts at RM15.

Address : 8 & 10, Lebuh Nipah 5, 11900, Bayan Baru, Penang

Phone No : 604 - 6455368

Website : www.sgwanghalal.com

FaceBook : www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000917113491

Email : cindylim@sgwanghalal.com

Partial Menu :

Fish Maw Soup (鱼鳔汤)
Plum sauce Chicken (梅子鸡)
Salted Fish Vegetable (咸鱼时菜)
Lemon Sauce Steam Fish (酸柑蒸魚)
Vegetable Delight in Yam Ring (佛砵飘香)
Three Flavour Home Made Bean Curd (三味豆腐)
Soya Sauce Steam Red Snapper Fish (清烝红狮鱼)
Teow Chiew Steam Red Snapper Fish (潮洲烝红狮鱼)

Sometime in mid July, my sister will be in Penang for her company's golf tournament. Hopefully she gets the chance to visit my friend's restaurant and maybe 'tapau' some food for me. :)

Note :: 'Tapau' means "to take away" as in take away food.

Almost lunchtime.

11.18am Malaysian Time

.: MIHAS 2010 :.

2010-06-22T19:14:00.016+08:00

The 7th Malaysia International Halal Showcase.

The World's Largest Halal Trade Fair

Inaugurated in 2004 with the sole aim of facilitating the sourcing and selling of quality halal consumables, products and services globally, this annual trade fair is in effect the largest congregation of halal industry players.

As an international trade fair focusing on halal, MIHAS attracts a following of loyal visitors and exhibitors. MIHAS 2009 saw the active participation of 529 exhibitors from 30 countries and attracted a total of 34,051 visitors from 65 countries.

Date : 23 to 27 June 2010

Venue : Matrade Exhibition & Convention Centre (MECC), Kuala Lumpur. (click to see the map)

Website : http://www.halal.com.my/

Getting There : Ground Transportation

Brochures Download Links : 1. English 2. Chinese

___________________________________________________________

I came to know about MIHAS in 2007. At that time, I was severely addicted to "Chocodates" and ma'amoul . Then, my prime intention was to purchase those sinful treats. Alas I didn't get that chance, and the situation sort of dragged on until now since the event almost always coincides with something unavoidable.

If nothing crops up *like it always does*, I will attend MIHAS 2010 tomorrow. From a quick glance at the list of exhibitors, it seems like I know quite a handful. It'd be super if I can meet them. I will blog more on this, plus do a couple of Chinese Halal Restaurant postings under the "Bites" label soon, Insha'Allah.

Note: Ma'amoul *that comes with various fillings* are easily available now! Alhamdulillah!!! ^^

Working from home is a total bliss! :)

12.29noon Malaysian Time

.: WCME 2010 :.

2010-06-20T17:05:00.008+08:00

Foreword.

By YBhg Tan Sri Lee Kim Yew and the synopsis of WCME:

Islam in China is rich with heritage and culture, and has influenced the course of Chinese history. One of the great Chinese Muslim figures of all time is the Admiral Cheng Ho, also known as Zheng He. Known as a great leader and skilled voyager, Cheng Ho symbolizes many things including the spirit of peace, friendship and adventure in the face of uncertainty.

- ~ -

The World Chinese Muslim Trade and Culture Forum & Exhibition 2010 consist of both local and international exhibitors showcasing Chinese Muslim Culture, Islamic Art and Calligraphy, Halal Foods, Textile, Apparel, Healthcare Products, Home Decor, Tourism, Technology and many others.

The 拉面 was made on the spot, and the guy was kind enough to allow me to capture the whole process.
Over at Uncle Chan's, the uncle was kind enough to reserve the last few packs for me.

The event was held at the Malaysia International Exhibition & Convention Centre (MIECC), Mines Resort City. By the end of the day, I bought a few items *don't ask how much I splurged*, ate a bowl of steaming hot hand-pulled noodles (拉面; la1 mian4), packed some duck rice and made several new friends. Alhamdulillah, I even bumped into an old friend and her family, and did some catching up. :)

__________________________________________________________

WCME Info: http://www.wcme.com.my/t1/index.php

If you want to try the noodles, you can find them at this address:

Restoran Ayu
Batu 131/2 Jalan Cheras Kajang.
Tel: 03 - 87364717, 012 - 2080284
Opening Hours: 5pm - 10pm

As for duck rice; please check their website 'cos they have a few outlets:

Restoran Cina Muslim Mohd Chan Abdullah; http://www.mohdchan.com.my/

It was a worthwhile trip.

4.52pm Malaysian Time

.: Shadow trails :.

2010-06-07T10:43:00.005+08:00

Lurking behind.

After the 3 months hiatus, I've resumed my Mandarin studies on a daily basis. One can even say it sometimes happen on an hourly basis. I keep the dictionary in my bag, and bring it with me for quick reference should I read a character or word I am unfamiliar with. Like when was the last time I stuck my nose in a dictionary? I am also doing exercises from the workbook, and occasionally write Chinese in MS Word instead of NJStar. Moreover, my cell inbox is filled with text messages written in Chinese and I habitually read it in an attempt to further retain my literacy. So now I rank myself in the order of proficiency as:

Spoken
Reading
Writing.

However, that's not the only thing progressing. The messages I receive in my inbox are becoming more frequent. I honestly do not know what is going on, and obviously have no idea on what will happen next. It just made me think whether I have done something to trigger something ...

"问心就明白了"

For once I could read and understand this instantly. I should be ecstatic that I can read Mandarin far better than before ... but in what expense?

Things may become complicated.

10.48am Malaysian Time

.: Masjid Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah :.

2010-05-26T19:13:00.008+08:00

Also known as the "Blue Mosque".

It is a famous landmark synonymous to Shah Alam, the largest mosque in Malaysia with a distinguishable blue and silver dome and four minarets erected at the corners. Fine decorative Arabic calligraphy adorn the the inner curve of the dome and the walls. There are 2 fully carpeted and air-conditioned main prayer halls in which the upper floor is mainly utilized by the women. The mosque can accommodate up to 15,000 worshipers during Friday prayers.

I was about 7 when my relatives brought me here. The only thing I could recall was I was overwhelmed by its majestic size, spacious halls and intricate designs.

I was driving in Shah Alam when I spotted the unforgettable architecture from afar. Seeing it was almost time for Asar prayers I made a stop there. Masha'Allah. Yet again I was drowned by its magnificence. However I noticed there were cracks and leaks at several places. I hope those are momentary defects.

Reminiscing. :)

7.01pm Malaysian Time

.: 365天 :.

2010-05-15T22:04:00.002+08:00

More or less.

Felt like it was just yesterday when Islam in China, asked whether I could contribute an article to his Islam in China webzine. About a year later, Cina Muslim requested to place the article in his website.

Those were the nights when I went through various research materials. On one particular occasion while I was absorbed in reading Yusuf Liu Baojun's book, a friend messaged me on MSN with this in question;

"Why are you working so hard on that research?"

My answer was, "Simply to kill time.".

Honestly speaking I wasn't working hard since I knew where to turn to and had my ways of reaching the sources. However, time wasn't at my side and I was terribly meticulous. Noticing that this is a self-induced fallibility *or possibly laxity down my end*, I seldom write articles anymore and chose to occupy myself with other things i.e. cooking. *coughs*

That was until I receive requests to churn out articles and content of which none are religion-related. As much as I like to write *crap*, there isn't much self-satisfaction involved and it began to bore me tremendously. Apparently the "Simply to kill time" statement wasn't baseless after all. I guess I did find some comfort when I embarked on writing that article, or to be more precise, in researching about Islam.

The purpose of creating Cina Muslim was to gradually evolve it into a place where people can share their views, learn a thing or two and gain substantial benefits from reading the articles. Therefore should you have any material that you deem is appropriate to be placed there or even feel gracious enough to allow me to write something about you as a featured article, kindly drop me an email and we'll work something out.

Insha'Allah *God willing*. :)

9.46pm Malaysian Time

.: Nebulous routes :.

2010-05-12T23:02:00.011+08:00

出口.

Chinese :: 世界之窗
Pinyin :: Shìjiè zhī Chuāng
English :: Window of the World

Shenzhen, People's Republic of China taken in Summer 2009

On some occasions one can't help but feel completely lost. I was having that aimless feeling when I saw my good friend online and sought his opinion.

"Should I go?"

With a mind still fleeting about in space; I switched off the computer, retreated to bed and tried my hardest to fall asleep while supplementing invocations to Allah S.W.T to provide me His guidance. As I was tossing around I saw a little blue book wedged in between my drawers. I gingerly dragged myself away from the comfy mattress and retrieved it. Aided by the little streams of light seeping through the curtains, I read the title as;

"Faith versus Materialism: The Message of Surah Al-Kahf"

And just like that I had my answers.

Alhamdulillah. :)

10.43pm Malaysian Time

.: Sole sisters :.

2010-05-09T09:22:00.004+08:00

Sisterhood.

THE SOLE SISTERS COLLECTIVE IS NOT SO MUCH ABOUT SHOES AS IT IS ABOUT THE ROADS THAT WE TRAVEL IN THEM.

This blog is a collective project. It is an extension of my blog A Room of Ones Own, that calls for creative sisters to come together and share their stories.

Sister Salma has been kind enough to feature my rambling entitled "Cascading Imprints" in The Sole Sisters Collection. Please visit her inspiring blog to read more about other beautiful sisters. :)

Jazakallahu khairan sis.

9.17am Malaysian Time

.: Polished pebbles :.

2010-05-03T13:44:00.001+08:00

Facing fears.

There was something vaguely familiar about him. Then it dawned on me. His mannerism reminded me of someone. Someone I haven't met in a long time. Someone I had wanted to meet for a very long time.

Whence the heart whispers ...

Could it be?

It took me a while to realize that it wasn't him and it couldn't be him. Even after knowing this, I was unable to stop myself from observing this person's movements. There was something that was pulling me towards him. Crazy huh.

Needless to say, it didn't take him long to notice my queer behavior. He good-naturedly smiled at me and continued reading his book. A few stops later, he motioned he was leaving and we bade our farewells.

As I was patiently waiting for my stop, I tried to piece together why I had acted so peculiar. That was when I looked out to the window, stared at the skies and thought ...

Could it be because I had so wanted the person to be him?

How long has it been?

1.36pm Malaysian Time

.: Al-Khaadem foundation :.

2010-04-19T10:40:00.007+08:00

Serving mankind.

Last Saturday I had the blessed opportunity to attend a lecture on Islamic burial rites held at the Al-Khaadem Foundation in Petaling Jaya. The lecture was provided by Ibu Aishah with introduction and commentaries by Sheikh Hussain Yee. Jazakallahu khairan to a dear sister for providing this information or else I would have missed the chance to acquire more knowledge.

Information about Al-Khadeem Foundation and Sheikh Hussain Yee:

Al-Khaadeem Foundation Official Website: Al-Khaadem Foundation

Al-Khaadeem Blog: Al-Khaadem Blog

From Islam in China: Hussein Ye

From Wikipedia: Hussein Ye

There was a particular statement mentioned by Sheikh Hussain Yee which intrigued me tremendously;

"For dunia we have time, for akhirah when we have time."

Literally this means we always have time to perform worldly obligations and even if we don't we will make the time, however when it comes to fulfilling our duties towards God and the hereafter, this clearly depends on our availability.

Hence we ask ourselves, how many times have we delayed our prayers for trivial reasons such as:

I have to finish my work otherwise I won't feel at peace.
I shall wait till I reach home to conduct my prayers.
I can always qada' my prayers.

Another memorable statement from Sheikh Hussain Yee was;

"We are here today, but where are we tomorrow?"

Death, with its mysterious allure has always been a fascinating subject. Although I think about it almost everyday, I can't help but feel have I done enough deeds that can substantiate me during the Day of Judgment? Are the things that I am doing purely for the sake of Allah S.W.T? To seek His pleasure, and only His pleasure?

A reminder to myself and everyone else :: Please do something good everyday even if it's just by giving a kind word, a salam *greeting* or smile to a random stranger. You have nothing to lose by doing that. :)

One step at a time.

10.34am Malaysian Time

.: 奉大仁大慈真主的尊名 :.

2010-04-05T13:18:00.005+08:00

It is in forgiving that we are forgiven.

Muallaf [改心] starring Sharifah Amani, Sharifah Aleysha and Brian Yap was screened in Malaysia on Dec. 24th.

When I find a friend who has turned away from religion ... it usually means that he's angry. So who were the Christians who made you angry at Christianity?
Rohani to Brian

Although I got hold of the DVD about a week ago, I haven't gotten the time to really watch it yet. In this movie, the girls quoted from the Qur'an, Bible and Tao Te Ching. As an avid faith buff this movie obviously intrigued me; an obsession that stemmed since my childhood days. Dad never stopped me from learning other faiths.

I know how some of my friends and relations find my obsession to be terribly unfathomable. However, I believe that God wants us to constantly seek the truth and gather as much knowledge as possible. Learning about other faiths does not make me a lesser Muslim. As a matter of fact, it strengthens my beliefs, and I take it as a wholesome experience. Any effort shall Insha'Allah lead us to have a greater understanding of each other's beliefs, enabling us to live together in peace and harmony.

The movie happens to feature 2 of the verses that I frequently keep in mind.

Al-Baqarah (The Heifer) 2:286

On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear.It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray) "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a greater burden than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith."

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Cultivating faith from within.

1.16pm Malaysian Time

.: Will of heaven :.

2010-03-23T16:06:00.001+08:00

Parting beneath the clouded skies.

If your love is true, you would feel an aversion for anything that does not remind you of the one you love. How odd! Whoever claims to love and needs someone to remind him of the lover, his love is not complete. The least thing that shows your love is that you never forget your beloved one.

Imam Ibn Qayyim (rahimullah)

Perhaps I am not as forgetful as I thought I am.

4.03pm Malaysian Time

.: Ounces of life :.

2010-03-18T10:45:00.003+08:00

Ties that bind.

I’ve been pondering about people and the lives that they lead. Then I began reflecting on the life I’m having, and Alhamdulillah I can openly admit that I am blessed. The family that I’m brought up in is able to provide the comforts of life and there hasn’t been a time when I had to endure a kind of hardship which is literally unbearable. The closest idea I have on what hardship means is based on the stories told by my parents and friends.

For the past few years I have started to learn to be more responsible in relation to myself and the family. However it is great to know that I will always have my family’s backing and support whenever, and wherever the need arises. Hence I supposed I had been living in a life where complacency and contentment exists as a pair.

On the other hand, conversations with friends and new acquaintances introduced me to another kind of life. Some voiced their concerns of striving tirelessly to make ends meet, while some are only seeing bleak futures. One of the appalling truths was when a friend fesses up some problems due to improper financial management. Thankfully the damage wasn’t so severe.

Just the other day I read about a person seeking forgiveness from his parents because he has been lying about his income. He doesn’t earn a lot, yet circumstances didn’t allow him to tell the truth. He doesn’t want to disappoint his parents neither does he want them to worry about him. He reached a deadlock when he felt he was unable to continue living in a life full of deceits, particularly to his parents.

In our culture as I supposed this happens in other cultures too we are expected to give our parents money once we are in the workforce, but my parents never raise this issue. Whatever I give, whether it is in monetary or material-form is solely based on my own discretion. They don't set any rules that I need to abide to. Then again, some parents expect certain obligations from their children, and this happens to be one of it. So I have friends lamenting that the amount they give is never enough.

This got me thinking again, just what is filial piety and does our definition of it ascertain the kind of life we lead? Are we truly being honest to ourselves and our parents when we try to assume the role of a filial son/daughter? Or are we doing it because society and surroundings compel us to do so?

Just a thought.

10.43am Malaysian Time

.: Entangled footprints :.

2010-03-09T13:00:00.001+08:00

Tracing the footsteps.

"Shoes" attributed to my cousin SyazaMST

"The memory will become stronger ..."

I'm returning to where it all began.

12.57noon Malaysian Time

.: Mellow grandeur :.

2010-03-03T11:52:00.002+08:00

Delicate enclosure.

My brother took me out for a ride in his first set of wheels. I was about 11 years old.

Me: "Look bro! It's the Eiffel Tower!"
Bro: "Silly little girl ... that's the electric transmission tower. :)"
Me: "You're no fun!"

Several years down the road as I was standing in front of the Eiffel Tower at the Champ de Mars, my brother sneaked behind my back and said ...

"Why are you admiring that electric transmission tower? :)"

Amazing how that memory triggered when I visited a replica of the Eiffel Tower in Shenzhen, China.

Along with other memories. :)

11.41am Malaysian Time

.: Faltering silence :.

2010-03-01T15:57:00.001+08:00

His demise.

Both of his legs were amputated. He sat on a wheelchair, and his clothes were tattered, and filthy. Yet, even under those circumstances he greeted everyone that passed by him with a jovial smile, and continued to beg for alms at the corner of the street.

Sometimes strangers will stop and talk to him, while others will drop a few coins into his chipped mug. Seldom does one sees another person not returning his smile, and warm greetings.

One fine day the police came and surrounded his begging spot. Flies were circulating his clothes. He had fallen off his wheelchair. As the police inspected his condition, they shook their heads and called for assistance from the public.

The uncle was no longer breathing.

Several months have passed since his death, yet I still see people whom are familiar with the uncle stop for a brief moment at his begging spot to show their respects.

It is disheartening to know that my silent friend is no longer around.

May he rest in peace.

3.55pm Malaysian Time

.: Happy Chinese New Year :.

2010-02-19T22:03:00.005+08:00

Double the number of tigers.

When the stripes fade away ...

And the roar becomes a whisper ...

The mighty tiger becomes a myth in the eyes of future generations ...

Here's wishing everyone a Happy Chinese New Year!

新年快乐 ~！

万事如意 ~！

虎年平安 ~！

Have a great weekend everyone!

9.57pm Malaysian Time

.: Crimson tide :.

2010-01-30T07:18:00.006+08:00

Years have passed.

But there are some things that can't be forgotten ...

Are you sure you are a Muslim? You don't wear the hijab. You don't know how to read the Qur'an. You spend more time with the disbelievers. Do you still think you are a Muslim?

At the tender age of 10, one starts to question ...

What is a Muslim?

What is Islam?

Who is God?

And embarks on a journey to find the truth.

7.17am Malaysian Time

.: Melancholy breeze :.

2010-01-24T02:42:00.005+08:00

The way of love.

Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion.
The Dalai Lama

A brand new day.

2.38am Malaysian Time

.: Paradoxical paralysis :.

2010-01-15T23:55:00.008+08:00

Lesson 3.

We were going to have dinner when I saw some beggars begging for alms at the roadside. They wore tattered clothing, held a chipped rice bowl and there was so much sorrow in their eyes.

No one stopped to offer any alms. No one stopped to offer a kind word. No one stopped at all.

Everyone was too concerned in their affairs that they didn’t take the slightest notice of these beggars.

It was a painful and pitiful sight.

----------------------------

A few years ago, I was at an eatery with a friend. He tried to stop me from looking at the cleaners but I was too stubborn to listen. That was when I saw the cleaner eating food left by the patrons. At that time all I thought of doing was to buy her food or offer her some money. However, my friend stopped me saying it will only bring more shame to the lady. I felt disgusted at myself for comfortably having good food while another person had to eat leftover scraps. I was terribly disturbed by this.

----------------------------

For ever so long have I been blinded and shielded from acknowledging the sufferings of others. Seeing these people and the situation they are in, reopened my eyes, my heart and mind to the cold realities of life. This time around, I chose not to push it all aside.

Alhamdulillah, God must have wanted to give me a chance to redeem myself.

Starting right here in China.

11.55pm Malaysian Time

.: اسم :.

2010-01-02T13:54:00.006+08:00

What is in a name?

I mentioned that my Arabic [Egyptian] teacher mentioned to the class that my name is an old Egyptian name.

Hence it got me pondering a bit. My name was given to me by my siblings. Big brother simply loved the story of Siti Hajar [Hagar] and Ismail [Ishmael] Alaihi wa Salam. Sis followed along with him. Besides, how cool is it to be able to name your sibling? I didn’t get that chance and the family never expected me to make a last minute entry into the family tree either.

Therefore:

When you name someone, do you have a certain criteria that you have/want to fulfill?
Is it based on the meaning?
Is it based on the origins of the name; the history behind it?
What does your name mean and how symbolic is it to you?
Will you change it if you have a choice? And to what?

Happy 2010. ^^

1.53pm Malaysian Time

.: Awal Muharram :.

2009-12-17T09:21:00.008+08:00

Zulhijjah 30 1430.

Personal Image - Hajj 2007/2008

Water that's poured inside will sink the boat
While water underneath keeps it afloat.
Driving wealth from his heart to keep it pure
King Solomon prefered the title 'Poor':
That sealed jar in the stormy sea out there
Floats on the waves because it's full of air,
When you've the air of dervishood inside
You'll float above the world and there abide.

Rumi, Book 1 Masnavi

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

On this day, I wish everyone a blessed Muharram. Let us begin the year with a resolution to deepen our faith and increase our commitments towards Him in hope of becoming a better person. May Allah S.W.T bless you and your loved ones.

Sempena awal Muharram, sama-samalah kita tingkatkan lagi usaha kita untuk menjadi muslimin dan muslimah yang beriman, bertaqwa dan berakhlak mulia. Semoga usaha kita diberkati olehnya.

إن شاء الله

Insha'Allah. :)

8.56am Malaysian Time

.: Bygone lane :.

2009-12-17T08:30:00.008+08:00

Photobook.

Every year my youngest uncle will prepare a family Eid photobook. Carefully selected photographs i.e. singular or family portraits, family gatherings, family houses, candid shots etc. adorn the pages. He started this tradition along with his personalized family Eid DVDs about 3 years ago in his attempt to create a keepsake for the family, and passing it on to future generations.

On Eid Adha, he brought the photobook. My uncle is known to have a flair in capturing embarrassing images. Gritting my teeth, I flipped through the pages and squirmed at the photos. *it wasn't as bad as last years' ~pheww*

The final leafs had old photos of unfamiliar faces.

Mum :: As a city child, you are not exposed to the life of a kampung community. In those days, we regard our neighbors as our extended family. The concern then was sharing our happiness and sadness with each other, regardless whether you're a Malay, Chinese or Indian.

*Kampung = village

Mum is quite right. Life in the city, with its endless hustle and bustle leaves little importance in instilling neighborliness.

Ask yourself ...

How many of us know the difficulties our neighbors go through?
How many of us know the names of every single member in our neighbors' family?
How many of us speak to our neighbors on a daily basis?

When I talk to my neighbors in KL, they will say; "I knew your grandparents / know your parents."

I hope there will come a day when their kids will say the exact thing to me too.

Thursday morning.

8.18am Malaysian Time

.: Wanton story :.

2009-12-13T00:58:00.016+08:00

A post dedicated to my dad.

Mum made me help her in the kitchen. I guess I was about 7. At that age I was too young to know how deadly a chopper can be. I practically sliced off my nail and made a run to sis asking for some tissue papers to wrap my injured finger. Sis suffered a panic attack when she saw the nail dangling with bits of skin attached to it. Mum, upon hearing the commotion developed her own rendition. Needless to say, the neighbors must had thought someone just died.

Apparently the experience wasn't traumatizing enough as I still hung around the kitchen. Mum vigilantly kept the chopper and knives away from me, therefore my chances of ever becoming a chopper wielding samurai eventually went down the garbage chute. She did recruit me in other areas like peeling the skin off the prawns. It was certainly a task I despised the most.

Anyway, many years down the road aunt brought me to her kitchen. I actually set the pot on fire. It wasn't intentional, nor was I mimicking a demented, retarded profile. It just happened. The blazing fire almost reached the ceilings. Thankfully I had some logical sense to put out the fire using kitchen towels. Everyone was just glad a) I was safe and b) I didn't burn down the house.

Then there were the countless times when I tried my hand in cooking. No doubt I scored 80% and above in presentation, but when it came to the taste test some of the things weren't even fit to be dog food. Yet, dad never complain. Not even once. What dad did was, he bravely scooped up the garbage, flung it into his mouth, and chewed every single morsel. I knew some of the things tasted horrible, rancid, and totally out of this world in a negative sense, but dad always ended things with;

"It's good because you have tried your best at making it. However, I know you can become better, and this is truly not your best yet."

For many years have I cursed myself for making my dad eat my garbage. Each time I cursed myself, dad repeated his encouraging words. It just made me all the more adamant to determine I do not feed my dad any more garbage.

Subsequently things began to change. The food became edible. The most incredible part was mum and aunts began to request recipes and food from me. For this to happen, I owe the ladies in my family for teaching me the cooking sense.

And dad, I owe you for never giving up on me.

Dad :: My mum used to make this. How did you manage?
Me :: I got the recipe from someone, but I did some adjustments. I didn't know grandma used to make it.
Dad :: But it tastes exactly the same. :)
Me :: Years of making you eat garbage, I should have developed a sense of knowing a thing or two on what suits your tastebuds along with knowing what you really have a penchant for. I am your daughter. :)

Thanks dad. ^^

12.45am Malaysian Time

.: Imminent periphery :.

2009-12-09T22:00:00.004+08:00

A struggle.

There had been times when I debated with myself on the subject of adoption.

What goes on a child's mind when he was given away at such a young age?

What goes on a child's mind when his biological parents reappear and try to claim their rights over him?

What goes on a child's mind when he has to make the choice between his adoptive parents or his biological parents?

Meanwhile, the subject of inter-racial, inter-religion, inter-country adoption raises another subject, and by knowing a handful of people who are either adopted or adoptive parents, made me mull over this time and time again.

When one is engaged in a court battle against the biological parent, wherein both sides are placing their foot firmly on the ground, what are the concealed turmoils felt by both parents?

"He wants to be with us."

May God be with you.

9.56pm Malaysian Time

.: Bear hug :.

2009-12-09T21:41:00.007+08:00

Awarded by ...

Dearest Mina gave me this award.

Thank you so much sweetheart!

I pass this on to everyone else. ^^

Thanks again sis! ^^

9.37pm Malaysian Time

.: Reappearance :.

2009-12-08T21:45:00.010+08:00

Hi everyone.

Nearly 2 months since I posted anything here. I can't say the itch to blog has died down as I'm still blogging rapidly in my private space, and on regular intervals I will try to make it a point to post painstaking entries in my Chinese blog. Call it a quirk of fate if you must, but I just didn't have the impulse to write anything here.

To rub salt into the wound, I haven't been reading and commenting on blogs either! I shudder the thought of opening my RSS Reader and seeing thousands of unread posts beckoning me to read every single piece!

Cutting a long story short, in the end, one needs to face this sooner or later. Alhamdulillah, the jive have sort of returned, and Insha'Allah I'll start picking up where I left off.

A standing ovation to the readers.

9.45pm Malaysian Time

.: Trailing behind :.

2009-10-26T16:13:00.005+08:00

Reminiscing.

Brother:: Aren’t you afraid to go out on your own?
Me:: Who’s in charge? *index finger pointing to the sky* :P
Brother:: Haha~ Back at me, eh? Fine fine, be careful.

This brother self-adopted himself as my mum’s son and as my older brother. Don’t ask me why. Anyway, the “who’s in charge?” line is distinctively his, and was used on several occasions. One of it was when I was taken ill. In an attempt to lighten things, he uttered these sentences:

“Remember who’s in charge. He is the one that tests you and he will be the one to take it away. Be strong and patient little sister. You have my du’a.”

Sometimes, I find myself reiterating those very words.

“Who’s in charge?”

And a feeling of assurance will sweep pass me.

4.15pm Malaysian Time

.: Tumbled view :.

2009-10-23T15:58:00.004+08:00

Clearing up.

While leveraging; should or should I not attend another conference, I ditched the thought for a post.

Throughout the course of 2 weeks, the mind was cluttered over a series of things. Some are thought to be exceedingly mind-boggling to comprehend. Alhamdulillah, the solutions came soon enough. Periodical execution lies ahead. Moreover, the timing now is seemingly apt to produce a 360 turnaround effect.

Meanwhile, I haven't acquire the knack to immerse myself completely in the Mandarin language. In accordance to that, there are numerous humongous hiccups encountered in each passing day, although friends are making it worth the while. Without a doubt, my Mandarin today is several notches higher than how it was a month ago. I do not expect a miracle to happen, therefore realistically, I hope to make some major leaps and bounds progress in the next couple of months if only I can allocate more time, effort and focus into it.

:: 谢谢你们的鼓励和打气，我慢慢读书哦~!

Yet again, the blogging passion has dwindled further. I haven't been able to churn out any good posts, or any hogwash posts in particular. Excuses are kept aside. A friend predicted the demise of the blogging culture. Perhaps, that is the phase I am going through. Does anyone else feel this way? Having the urge to blog, yet unable to salvage the contents? Or do you concur this entirely?

Have a nice weekend everyone!

3.58pm Malaysian Time

.: Deepavali :.

2009-10-17T08:09:00.005+08:00

Or Diwali.

Wishing everyone a blessed Festival of Lights!

Photos of chicken tikka and chicken something tikka courtesy of Al-Karim restaurant, New Delhi, India.

They and another Pakistani guy were kind enough to allow me to snap some quick shots of these delightful skewered chicken pieces. Malaysians may have to wait another year before they make their 2nd visit. At least, that was what I was told. Or that was what I understood. *haha~* There's no point in cross-checking with my sister since she couldn't make any heads or tails of what they had said. I extend my gracious thanks to my former colleagues from India. Because of you guys, I can actually understand their thick Indian accent.

Note :: Don't ask me which is which. I have clearly forgotten as I was too focused in trying to snag the recipe from the Pakistani guy. haha~ Anyone care to shed some light?

Another holiday. :)

8.08am Malaysian Time

.: Bahasa Melayu :.

2009-10-11T20:42:00.022+08:00

Posting in my mother tongue.

Considering I hardly write in Malay, and even though I speak the language everyday, the conversations are mostly conducted colloquially. Didn't take long for me to notice that I am actually losing my grasp in the language, therefore this is quite a brave attempt on my part to sort of get in touch with it again. Having gone down the path thereby I had been dubbed a non-Malay due to my incompetence in the language many years ago, I prefer not to endure it again.

. ~ .

Standard Malay *as far as I can remember ... to my Malay language teachers, please send me a detention slip if you notice more than 10 errors.*

"Terus-terang, Aja tidak boleh ingat kali terakhir Aja menulis di dalam Bahasa Melayu. Terasa kekok dan payah sangat. Kalau diikutkan, Bahasa Melayu sering digunakan sebagai bahasa perantaraan baik ketika bersama-sama ahli keluarga mahupun sesama sahabat-handai. Namun, bahasa tersebut telah dicampur-adukkan dengan bahasa asing. Tambahan pula, tidak dinafikan wujudnya penggunaan bahasa pasar dikalangan generasi muda. Sesungguhnya, keadaan ini amat membimbangkan lebih-lebih lagi apabila segelintir daripada kita tidak mampu untuk menilai keindahan menulis di dalam bahasa ibunda."

Written in slangs and abbreviated forms as how I would speak with my peers.

"Terus-terang, Aja tak bleh igt bile Aja last tulis dlm BM. Rase pelik; susah sgt. Ikutkanlahkan, BM ni kite slalu gak pakai bile sembang dgn famili & kawan. Mungkin sal dah campur dgn base laen kut. Pun sal, kitorang slalu gune base pasar. Tp, mmg sedeylah bile kite dh taktau nilai laie."

English translation.

"In actual truth, I can’t remember the last time I wrote in Malay. It feels exceedingly peculiar and strenuous. If I were to contemplate on it, the Malay language is regularly used as the communication language with family and friends. However, its' usage has been influenced by foreign languages. I do not deny, there is also the usage of slangs amongst the younger generations. Hence, the situation becomes tremendously worrisome particularly when some of us aren’t able to value the beauty of writing in our mother tongue."

Losing the proficiency.

8.20pm Malaysian Time

.: Vanished leaves :.

2009-10-06T20:19:00.004+08:00

Shifting sands.

It is said that the reason leaves fall off the branch is to allow new leaves to grow ...

No matter how sad the fallen leaves look ...

There will always be new sprouts to take their places ...

Perhaps the emptiness in the heart is something similar to that ...

Crosses space and time.

8.15pm Malaysian Time