Memories in the rain.
If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and the sky, who in all eternity will never mingle, would I be able to bind two hearts together?
The station of reliance.
8.01am Malaysian Time
As I was finding my ways to a heart serene
I discovered creeks and alleyways
Streets and avenues and dark hallways
Uncovered by the bitter truths of Madarij as-saalikeen
The warning at the crossways of my heart’s arteries
Reads “your deen is in need for your mind to intervene
and your soul to control its foolish desires for the world”
I needed to jump start my heart
from the state of heedlessness to the state of awareness
And it only made sense that I needed to smack my soul out of negligence
Before it got purified on the day of a 50,000 year equivalence.
From which torturous torment in Jahannam is its derivative
From a fuming fire 70 times the world’s corrosive
And alarming danger is where my soul is.
So I knew that before my last breath is when my soul needs purity
And for that I’d need a bloodless open-heart surgery
To cleanse my body’s faculties, from evils, lies, and perjury
So write this down in gold says Shaykh Riadh Ourzazi,
My next station was to identify the problem at self-accountability.
But that was a bit discouraging cuz my list of sins almost seemed at infinite
It seems as though my soul is prone to evil and disobedience.
But Allah paved the way to repentance for my convenience.
Sincerity in the request for forgiveness,
Or a mere handshake will cause my sins to diminish.
A return to my Lord causes Him to increase in happiness
More so than he who called out “I am your Lord, and you are my servant”
So before I move on, I must first question my repentance
And remain in my stance of steadfastness
And I will do this by means of the station of Reminders
Where I block the shaytan from my inner whims and desires
So that when the Quran is heard my healthy heart never tires.
Ya Hayyu ya Qayyum, laaa ilaha illa anta And feel my heart enlighten
Clearing the diseases of the heart while its colour whitens.
Seeing that rich red strawberry brighten.
As it pumps that rich fluid of emotion
It elevates me further to the station of devotion
Longing for salah like the fish long for the ocean
Aspiring to be like the sahabah who stood still without motion
Or aspiring to have the khushu’ of Hatim al-Assum
Who imagined the ka3ba infront of him
Jannah to the right of him
Jahannum to the left of him
Malik al-Mawt directly behind him
The sirat beneath him
All the while Allah was watching him
This would then lead me to the station of vigilance
Adding the element of general and specific togetherness
Knowing that Allah is closer to me than where my own jugular vein is
I’m on 24-hour surveillance – not by CSIS, but by Allah and His guardian angels.
So I gotta watch what I do as I move to the station of perseverance
Don’t you know that its cuz Allah loves you that He tests your patience
So preserve in keeping your soul in restraint and confinement
“Allahuma ajirnee fi museebati, wakhlufli khayran minha”
Allah assured us that the reward is in abundance
I want to be greeted by the Angels in Jannah, don’t you?
So lets go together to the station of self-realization
Understand that disobeying Allah and being pleased with Him as your Lord is a contradiction.
So be sincerely pleased with Him and be under His protection
To be pleased with the Prophet is to follow him in his soorah, seera and sariyya, his looks, life and intentions.
So by this I shall move to the station of sincerity
Remembering that Jahanam first takes the hafidh, the warrior, and one who gave in charity
Because in their hearts their was no purity
So as I stand before you right now I gotta check my heart forces
A second, third, and fourth prognosis.
Before Allah sends me His own diagnosis.
Oh Allah teach my nafs what control is.
Cuz my soul is … in need to be 1 of 70,000
Who didn’t seek ruqya or believe in bad omens.
This brings us to station of reliance.
Hasbiya Allah laa ilaha illa hu wa ni’m al-wakeel.
And suddenly the degree of remembrance I’m starting to feel
SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar goes my heart wheel
Pumping love and longing for Allah to a higher degree
Bringing us to the station of happiness for which all of mankind agree
But it’s only in our hands cuz of our belief in the Divine Decree
So I pray to Allah to keep me steadfast on this station of supplication
Where I find my self in the midst of contemplation
About the essence of my creation and my changing situation
O Allah make the tour of Jannah my realization and my ultimate destination
O Nafs, I ask you, no I implore you to fear no temptation
To start the process of purification
And so my mind intervenes
Studying the itinerary of Madarij as-Salikeen
And I pray, I, along with all of you, have found ourselves – a heart serene.
“O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish; falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity”