.: Selamat Datang :.

Alhamdulillah!

We finally got the letter from Putrajaya Immigration! After months of waiting and feeling down in the dumps, we finally got the letter to bring my in-laws over. Am I ecstatic? Definitely! 

There are no words to describe what K and I are feeling at this very moment. Absolutely no words. We are just more than thankful that our application got through. 

What's next?

Chaotic last minute arrangements to bring my in-laws over. There is a lot to prepare. There is the visa collection, booking the plane tickets, right down to the nitty-gritty. Then there is also the need to oversee our ever hectic schedule. Loads to do, with little time to spare. 

But what matters most is... my in-laws could finally come and stay with us in Malaysia for a few months!

Counting the days till that happen.

11.59am, Malaysia Time

.: Far Ahead :.

The saga continues.

Almost a month has passed since I submitted my documents to the immigration in Putrajaya. Until now, I have not received an update regarding the status of my application. And I have grown tired of calling and trying to get updates.

I am at my wits' end. I had wanted to bring my in-laws over to spend time with us. We have not met them for more than 2 years, plus the winter there can be horribly miserable. Year after year, the winter season does more damage to their fragile health and they suffer from ailments because of it. Perhaps I was too naive to think I would be allowed to bring them to spend the entire winter season here.

At least I have tried. And Alhamdulillah, my in-laws understand the complexities. 

Yet, I still have that nagging feeling that I could and should have done more. 

Each time I express this to K, he tells me I should not be too hard on myself. Some things are just beyond our control and we should just accept it. Perhaps it is not the right time. Or perhaps, there is a better reason why it takes like forever each time we have to deal with the immigration. Take it as a trial, our trial.

Yes; this is not Jannah. Until the last breath is drawn, we will always be tested. The one thing I keep telling myself each time I feel disappointed with something.

There is still a lot to be learned.

12.48noon, Malaysia Time

.: Meet My In-Laws :.

Not exactly.

We had gone over to Putrajaya to apply visas for my in-laws. Not sure of the outcome yet as they are still in the midst of processing the application. Plus I still need to provide them another document, which is pending on my employer's side. Other than that, I really hope the application goes through as it had been more than two years since my husband and I last met them.

I have to admit, I had the jitters prior to submitting the application. I was worried whether I had all the right documents and whether I would qualify as a sponsor. 

Alhamdulillah, things went far better than expected. We managed to get most of our documents ready in JB. When we went to Putrajaya, both the immigration and Wisma Putra officers were extremely helpful and our application was accepted that very morning. And I was assured that my combined income, from my employer and my writing gigs, would be sufficient to qualify me as a sponsor. 

I was elated. I am still elated. Never had I ever imagined things could go this smooth.

Now I just hope and pray that my employer sends the document soon so I can forward it to the immigration. 

Counting stars.

5.21pm, Malaysia Time

.: Final rites :.

Passing through.

When a dear one leaves this world...
One would usually say...
Now...
There is a void deep within our souls... 

Yet...
How can there be a void when the memories are still very much intact?
And the fact that...
The very person...
Lives on in each of our lives? 

I suppose... 
Death... is hardly the end of a single life... 

Death... in its truest essence...
Marks the beginning of the lives it has touched... 

To remember the person with a clean white slate... 
An emphasis on the good, the smiles and the laughter... 

At the end of it...
Death...
Helps to make us better people...  

Till we meet again...
In our final resting place...

In loving memory of my brother.

6.49pm, Malaysian Time

.: Kaijia :.

China Kampung Muslim Food.

After such a long hiatus from the blogging realm, guess it's high time I make a post just before the start of Ramadhan. Can't believe we have less than a week to go. Am I fully prepared for it? Well, not quite. I still have to get used to my new schedule.

By new schedule, what I mean to say is that Alhamdulillah, my family has embarked on a home-based food business. We specialize in cooking Northwestern China Chinese Muslim food. Yes, we are selling halal Chinese food right here in Johor Bahru! Why Northwestern China food in particular? The main reason is dear Mr Husband is from there and it's like killing two birds with one stone really. We can satisfy our cravings and sell food at the same time! I have to say, I kind of like that arrangement.

The next reason is as far as we know, there is a limited number of places selling Chinese Muslim food in Johor Bahru. The few that we know of are the Haji Shahrin Low outlet at Bandar Baru Uda and Pondok Dimsum at Kilang Battery. However, one thing is for sure, there is no place selling halal China Chinese Muslim food in Johor Bahru. That is until we started our home-based business. Alhamdulillah, Allah paved the way for us to embark on this path.

So what are we selling really?

For starters, our main dish is "Niangpi", which we roughly translate as cold noodles. Most of our customers here thought it looked like squid or the local kway teow noodles. The look may be similar, however taste-wise, it's miles apart. To make niangpi requires supernatural amount of patience. The process is time-consuming and complex. It involves hours of washing the flour to get the gluten out, draining out the water, steaming it in batches and eventually, we have to manually cut it into thin strips. On top of that, we have to prepare the sauce, which involves at least 5 different types of condiments, each with its own distinct preparation styles. But one thing is for sure, the end results are phenomenal and we certainly have that sense of accomplishment each time we successfully create a fresh new batch.

The next item on our menu is "Jiaozi", or dumplings. The dumplings come in beef and chicken varieties, but we will insha'Allah include other varieties in the months to come. The best thing about our dumplings is it can be frozen, hence we are also selling them as frozen packs - 10 or 20 in a bag - enabling customers the joy of popping them into their pots to boil in the comforts of their home. Cooking frozen dumplings is easy, provided you follow our instructions. And the major bonus is that there are so many ways to cook frozen dumplings.

The next three items are what I would say, starters or snacks. I will go into that in the next post, insha'Allah.

For more information about my family's Northwestern China Chinese Muslim food business, please click and visit the following sites:

Website - https://kaijiamuslimfood.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Kaijia-China-Kampung-Muslim-Food-256056571520125/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kaijiachinakampungmuslimfood/

Or you can simply drop me an email at hajar.alwi@gmail.com or kaijiachina@gmail.com

Note: Most of the recipes and cooking methods were taught by my in-laws to retain the authentic and traditional flavours of Northwestern China Muslim Chinese cuisine.

Now it's back to cooking up a storm in the kitchen!

Hungry tummy.

8.03am, Malaysian Time

.: Sowing seeds :.

Miles away.

All this while, I feel blessed that we have a small plot of land right here in our Southern home. At this very spot, dad planted a handful of fruits and vegetables trees. Occasionally, the trees sprouted by itself and we found ourselves wondering who had planted the seeds. As no one admitted to doing it, I suppose we have the birds and other critters to thank for that. 

Fast forward, now that I am married, I feel all the more blessed to know that my husband has an actual yard at his home in Northwestern China. A huge plot or rather small plots of land where they are able to grow all sorts of fruits and vegetables. Most of which are the kind that we can never grow in ours.

Intrigued with nature, my husband and I will often have conversations on growing our own fruits and vegetables. Although our current arrangements do not allow us to do that just yet, we have our dreams, our aspirations and the drive to work on materialising it.

Why you may ask?

Because this is the kind of life we want our children to be brought up in. A life where they can play, bond and develop a sense of gratitude and respect for nature and other living creatures. 

Cultivating the seeds of life from its very roots.

12.11noon, Malaysian Time

.: Marriage visa :.

Getting there.

Alhamdulillah, managed to get the forms and documents needed to apply the visa. All that is left is to head to Putrajaya, complete the forms and submit our application. Hoping and praying that everything will go well. 

Once we have completed the entire process and obtained our visa, I intend to post a blog entry on it as a guide for those married to foreigners from China.

For now, it is time to catch the Olympics badminton finals! Lee Chong Wei (Malaysia) versus Chen Long (China)! 

马来西亚加油！

8.25pm, Malaysian Time

.: 开斋节 :.

多多快乐!

Taking this opportunity to wish everyone a blessed Eid! Hope you had a great time with your loved ones! Do forgive me if I had erred on my part or if I had hurt you in any way.

On a personal note, this Eid has been a mixture of joy and sadness. Joy, because this is my first Eid as a wife. Sadness, due to the passing of my uncle. Even so, I hope and pray may Allah continue to bless us and keep us under His mercy and guidance at all times. May He accept my uncle's good deeds and place him among the righteous as well, ameen.

With the passing of a soul,
Marks not the ending of the journey,
Of a lifetime.

For those who truly lived,
Their legacy remains,
For all eternity. 

May one day we shall all be reunited,
In the eternal abode,
Living side by side.

Till then,
Until that very union,
Life goes on. 

Kuala Lumpur.

10.18am, Malaysian Time

.: Down the aisle :.

Minus the church bells.

The moment finally came whereby my knight in shining armour hailing all the way from the Middle Kingdom came over to formally claim me, his damsel in distress, as his lifelong partner - in this dunya and insha'Allah in jannahtul firdaus as well, ameen. 

On that very day, Alhamdulillah, we became husband and wife.

Like any other blushing new bride, I have that nagging feeling of wanting to write more about the wedding, the marriage and loads of other stuff. Even so, I am still very much overwhelmed with all of it. All I know is that with each passing day, I can only speak of gratefulness to this very blessing that the AlMighty has graciously bestowed upon us. 

On this very day, I ask:

May Allah SWT bless my husband, I and our loved ones with everlasting mawaddah, wa rahmah, wa sakinah,

May Allah SWT bless those who are still waiting for their eternal companion with beautiful patience,

May Allah accept all the good that we do and guide us to remain steadfast on His path,

Allahumma ameen thumma ameen.

The journey, has only just begun. 

9.21am, Malaysian Time

.: Weightless passage :.

I was in Singapore.

As I haven't gone through the checkpoint in years, I had forgotten this tiny fact that I can no longer breeze through Singapore customs. So there I was, waiting and texting friends telling them I will be fashionably late due to the fantastic morning crawl. I suppose that was what my classmates had to endure 17 years ago when we crossed national borders in the early mornings for school. With a map (in the bag) and my mum's ezlink pass, just as I was about to get on the bus heading Kranji MRT, mum, gave a call;

"Are you in Singapore yet? Call us if there is anything! Call us!!!"

Mum did the exact thing when I was in China.

"Are you in China yet? Call us if there is anything! Call us!!!"

That wasn't the only thing. I spent a huge bulk of my time going places with friends in China, and mum knowing this, specifically said;

"Stick with your friends. Don't stray away!"

True enough, mum said the same thing too while I was in Singapore. After all those years, I figured it was quite cute of mum to worry about me even though I am certainly no longer that little girl who was once upon a time petrified of her own shadow. So I tried to console mum over the phone, as how I often did whenever mum starts questioning who I'm with and where I'm at. And mum, being mum, probed further when it came to the juicy bits (under her definition).

"Who's the guy? Do I know him? What is his number? Are you sure he is a good person? Is he there? Can I speak to him? Do you need your father to speak to him?"

Mum, and her cute antics.

2.40pm Malaysian Time

.: Sealed instinct :.

The memories of various dimensions.

Aunt :: We need to buy lemongrass, ginger, chillies, etc for Eid.
Mum :: We have those. My husband harvested them from the house. :)

Ever since mum retired, dad heightened his passion for sustainable living. At our home in Seremban, he grows bananas, papayas, mangoes, chilies, lemongrass, ginger, potatoes, yam, curry, lime, guava, etc. due to an excess of land in our residential space. He even harvests honey from the beehives at the roof. Dad takes a lot of pride in his harvests therefore occasionally he will trade with the neighbours i.e. our chillies for their beans. Mum chips in by distributing to family and the people around.

On another note, my big brother and his wife are drawing plans to breed fish and rear chickens and ducks. The advantage they have is bigger land and the land is located at the outskirts of town. This enabled them to venture into livestock and other forms of vegetation i.e. chillies and pineapples. My brother and his wife have plans to sell the produce, while at the same time, they are also doing this to ensure we have our supplies from reliable sources.

Mum :: Your dad comes in with a bucket of sweet potatoes. His haul of the day. He was clearly exhausted but he looked really happy. And there I was thinking what can I do with a bucket of sweet potatoes? I eventually made chips. We don't buy vegetables anymore. On certain days your brother sends fish over. This was how I lived in the past. Everything that we ate came from our land. There is a greater sense of appreciation and contentment.

Whenever I'm home in Seremban, my dad will tell me to be wary of the bees and the monkeys whereas whenever I'm at my brother and sis-in-law's land, they will tell me to be wary of the hogs.

Going to those homes on 16th Sept.

10.31am Malaysian Time

.: Gathering of fates :.

Memory retrieved.

She is a sister who I recently came to know. A sister who in our first meeting camouflages her innermost feelings with smiles and laughter. Where under those very circumstances, she still managed to gather enough strength to lay her utmost belief in the will of God, in total reliance of God's plans for her and her family.

~

I was driving when my thoughts fleeted to her. Deep in thought of how I would have dealt with the situation if I was placed in her shoes. Moments later my tears began to fall a drop at a time. This is insanity. I have only met her once, so how is it possible for me to have such intense empathetic feelings towards her?

Soon enough the text reached my cell inbox. It was a short text. but it was enough to make me shed tears. By a mere stroke of coincidences, the sky too began to shed its tears of sorrow and there I was, in the car, stuck in the traffic at Jalan Ampang, crying as how I had cried when I received the text from my mum several years ago when she said my dad suffered a mild heart attack on flight and had to be warded in the intensive care in Singapore.

Through this sister I may had seen the strength that my mum had on that very day. Of how my mum told us to stay in Seremban, to continue celebrating Eid, and when dad becomes better, she will bring him to celebrate with us.

Dad :: Your mum is a strong person. But if something were to happen to me, even when she tries to act all tough, all I see is her vulnerable side. That is when you and your siblings must take charge. Help her find the strength to truly deal and accept the consequences.

My parents are still in Seremban now. However, ever since then, each time Eid approaches I will remember that text from my mum, and of how I begged my family to allow me to rush to my parents that very night.

As for the sister, I pray that she will be able to overcome this hardship.

Halfway through Ramadhan.

9.31pm Malaysian Time

.: Mirrored convergance :.

Circumventing the hems.

Mum :: Some people think the duties of a mother end by the time the child reaches puberty, began working or has gotten married. Little do they know that the duties of a mother only end when she is nearing to her last breath because to a mother, her child will always be, a child.

Me :: And some people think that the duties of a child end by the time the child has gotten married. Little do they know that the duties of a child only end when she is nearing to her last breath because to a child, she will always be, someone's child. :)

My parents will insha'Allah leave for Saudi Arabia to conduct their umrah this 23rd June. Mum, as always, is worried of dad's health whereas dad, as always, is complacent of mum and her worries of his health.

Mum :: Speak to your dad. Remind him that he shouldn't wander off on his own or with strangers.

Dad :: Your mum is at it again ...

They are still here ...

But I am starting to miss them already.

9.54pm Malaysian Time

.: 总是熟视无睹 :.

When ignorance is a bliss.

The piggy back ride in Maher Zain's Insha'Allah MV made me remember something which I've forgotten for a very long time.

~

Whenever dad prays, I will quietly watch him from a distance. One day dad asked whether I wanted to pray with him. I didn't know what praying was. All I knew was he was reciting things in a language I couldn't understand.

Me :: I can't. I don't know what you read when you're praying.
Dad :: You don't have to read anything. Just follow me. That is good enough. :)

Dad spread a prayer mat next to his and began praying. I tried to follow his movements, and when I couldn't see clearly, I will edge closer to him to the point that I was almost touching him. I was still a child; a highly inquisitive child for that matter.

That night mum reprimanded me. Dad overheard and he spoke calmly to mum in their room. Although it happened a long time ago, and I knew I wasn't supposed to listen to their conversation, I briefly heard dad saying;

I asked her to pray with me. If anybody needs reprimanding, it is me. Reprimand me for doing my duty as a dad who is trying to guide his daughter towards God.

My parents are home. :)

10.14am Malaysian Time

.: Timely departure :.

The demise of my granduncle.

Days went by, but the air was still stifled with streaks of grief and anguish. Only today do I feel as though normalcy had returned to our household.

~

Since my toddler years, my late granduncle fondly calls me "Siti Kaya" whenever I feel heavy in the dumps. The pet name was a reminder of my inability to pronounce "S". I used to get really peeved each time he calls me that, until one day he propped me on his lap and said;

"I initially did that to tease you, but I truly hope that one day you will grow up to be someone who is "Kaya" *rich* in values. :)".

His last words on 20 Nov were;

"Are you leaving already?"

That was when he looked pass me and I knew it won't be long until I lose him. That I can no longer hear my beloved granduncle calling me "Siti Kaya" anymore ...

انّا للہ و انّا الیه راجعون

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

Verily we belong to God and to God we shall return.

May Allah S.W.T accept his good deeds, forgive his wrongdoings and place him among His beloved.

Resuming working life.

2.31pm Malaysian Time

.: 你不知道的事 :.

The things you don't know.

你不知道我為什麼離開你
You don't know why I left you

我堅持不能說放任你哭泣
I insist on not telling you and let your tears run

你的淚滴像 傾盆大雨
Your teardrops seem like a heavy downpour

王力宏; Wang Leehom

Yesterday my family got word that my uncle passed away, thus we made plans to return to my Southern home today. It was a solemn moment for everyone, as everybody silently carries a tearful heart mourning the loss of a brother, uncle, father and grandfather.

... ~ ...

On another note; please lend your support to a dear sister of mine in her noble attempt to solicit financial aids for the people of Pakistan. You may find more info here: Wings of Humanity.

A blue Monday.

5.59am Malaysian Time

.: Collected memories :.

Revealed.

A short time ago I had this conversation with someone who is very dear to me. Our little tiff didn't last long, and we're back on good terms Alhamdulillah. She was just watching out for me, fearful of my movements. The purpose of writing this down is not to provoke or badmouth her, but it's more of sharing the kind of reaction I get every now and then from others, particularly the ones who insinuate religion is linked to a certain race/culture. Call me daft if you may, but I don't give a hoot about a person's race when it comes to acquiring religious knowledge or anything else for that matter.

Person :: Of all people, why can't you learn about Islam from someone else?
Me :: What's the problem?
Person :: He's Chinese. How much does he know about Islam? How far back is his generations that embraced Islam? I'm talking about lineage, bloodline. Can you understand this?
Me :: In other words you are indicating how "Islamic" is his family background.
Person :: Yes. You should find someone whose family has been in Islam for generations. Their belief are more deep-rooted and knowledge are more reliable.
Me :: If you are concerned about that then where do you place the reverts? Are you indicating they are less "Islamic" just because they don't have generations of "Islamic" lineage?
Person :: Not exactly but Malays have been living the Muslim way of life.
Me :: So have the Chinese Muslims.
Person :: But the culture is different.
Me :: I am learning about Islam, not the culture. Do you honestly have issues with this person's "Islamic" know-how or is it really his race?

Monday blues.

10.24am Malaysian Time

.: Walimatul urus :.

Wedding.

I noticed that I hardly do posts about Malay culture. Photos speak a thousand words, hence let it speak for itself. *Alright, I will admit that I am just lazy to create a draggy post*

Anyway, these Malay wedding photos were taken mid last year on my cousin's wedding day. Akin to weddings by other cultures, conducting this grand scale affair requires ::

1. Intense Planning --- and executing it flawlessly
2. Budget --- don't ask how much the family splurged on this
3. Manpower --- don't ask how many people worked on it
4. Attitude --- don't ask how many people blew / almost blew their heads off
5. Hard Work --- excruciatingly tiring, nevertheless fun

The Wedding Dias --- Pelamin in Malay

Family and friends. *Where's my sister? She's in the picture by the way. :)*

The ermm ... banquet table? I prefer to name it as the heavenly yet devilishly tantalizing source of supreme sustenance! Food parade!!!


Oho! Ghazal! Rather odd since my cousin is not from the South. *the unmistakable distinct influence of Southerners ... coughs*

The hall after the wedding.

*Click on the photos to enlarge it.

I was the unofficial photographer for the bride's side, however those photos were taken using my cousin's camera. These are just the random snapshots I managed to shoot offhandedly with mine and a couple are actually credited to my uncle. Insha'Allah I'll showcase another typical Malay wedding scenario in future posts.

Off for breakfast.

8.54am Malaysian Time

.: Catch-22 :.

What went wrong?

There were a few things that mum hoped for me …

“I hope you work for the government.”

Friends’ reaction:: "You will definitely suffer from a massive shock on your first day of work rendering you paralyzed for the rest of your life!"

~ I ended up working in the private sector.

“I hope you work in a company with Malays.”

~ Nope, didn’t come close to having any Malays.

“I hope you work in a company with Muslims.”

~ Nope, no Muslims here either.

“I hope you will not work with guys.”

~ Eh … I'm the only girl.

So mum eventually said this …

“I hope you marry a Muslim, a practicing once. That’s all I’m praying for now.”

Friends’ reaction:: "Mark our words, you will definitely convert someone and marry that guy!"

Let me see … I am not close to any Muslim brothers and I have no intention to convert anyone yet. Mum oh mum, must I disappoint you again? But it was never intentional. Aih~

My sis had this to say; “You know so many nice guys! All you need is to convert one! It only takes one! But what do you think of matchmaking? Mum might just well … you know …”

Me:: "I’ll leave that to God. Nah, dad will never agree. To answer your question, I guess I’m cool with it. Look at dad and mum."

The time when absolute frankness became the weapon used against me. Up till now, sis tries to put her matchmaking ideas in my head. Her latest sensation is to entice me to consider the limited number of Muslim brothers that I know. She has short listed two brothers to be exact and she does not know them on a personal basis. I have no indication on how she came to that conclusion, neither do I wish to know why.

Sis:: I have a strong feeling on this particular one. Really strong feeling you WILL end up with him. And little sister, rest assured you have my full blessings. :)
Me:: We are just friends. At most, brother-sister relationship. Going beyond will only complicate things and I do not foresee the possibilities. :P
Sis:: Trust me. He is THE ONE. I have yet to be proven wrong. :)

If I ever let my guard down even for a minute and let her words seep in, I doubt I can retain any form of normalcy. It's bad enough that I have to listen to "How to get a 6-pack in 3 months without working out in the gym and afford to have pigging out sessions?" in the office. Thank God I'm used to it, owing it all to my blood brother for training me since young. :)

I am no fish.

4.21pm Malaysian Time

.: Another year :.

The man of the house.

This morning, as I was getting ready for work I heard the familiar Qur’an recitations from dad. Yesterday was his birthday. Birthday celebrations are almost fictional for us, yet at that moment it occurred to me that without fail, dad will recite du’a on my birthday. Even when I’m not around, mum and dad will call me, wishing happy birthday with many happy returns telling me that they prayed to God for my well being. Simple gestures that I have taken for granted. Took me long enough to realize this.

Mum is coming back tomorrow. I’ve roughly planned a few things for dad. Just need to get my sister on the track with me. *shouldn’t be a problem, either she is with me or I’ll disable her broadband access. I can go a notch higher by challenging her computer literacy but that is plain cruelty.*

Me:: So you won’t be around on dad’s birthday?
Mum:: Your dad understands. Take care of him while I’m gone.

Once I brought dad's younger days photo to school without telling friends who he is. Friends that saw it asked whether they can get acquainted with him. I replied by saying presently he's happily married, with 3 kids and they happen to be speaking to his child, me.

Happy birthday dad. :)

3.28pm Malaysian Time