.: Hiraeth :.

The nostalgia.

• Hiraethn. a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past

A best friend. Some of us have one. Some of us have none. Until now, I still remember those who I regarded as my best friends. The earliest memory I had was in primary school. We were in the same class for three years and four months. We drifted apart after both of us transferred to other schools. Each time I return to Singapore, I cannot help but wonder whether I would ever bump into my long lost best friend. Would we recognise one another?

Years went by and I entered my late 20s. During that time I got acquainted with someone, whose character reminded me of my long lost best friend. We clicked. The connection was surreal. Yet, all of a sudden, the friendship came to a halt. The correspondences stopped. I had no means of reaching out. All forms of communication were entirely shut down. 

And just like that, I carried that pain of losing another best friend. The grief was unbearable. Just like my long lost primary school best friend, I too start to think, what are the odds of me bumping into my late 20s best friend when I am in Singapore? 

Wanting things to return to the way they were seems impossible. The constant what ifs, only prove to cause more damage to the self being. So I move forward, and learn to come into terms with things.

There are still times when I will remember both of my long lost best friends. And those deja vu moments can be too real at times. Yet I choose to take things positively and cherish the memories. If I had not known them, I may not have turned out the way I am now. 

To my long lost primary school best friend;

I hope and pray you are doing well. You were one of the brightest students then and I knew you had it in you to carve a meaningful future. Wherever you are, keep being the helpful and ever considerate person that you are. You were a blessing to me then, and I truly believe you are still a blessing to those who are around you now.

Woodlands Primary School.

To my long lost 20s best friend;

I know you used to read my blog occasionally. If you still do, and you would like to reconnect, you know you can always contact me. I too hope and pray you are doing well. I always think highly of you and I respect you for your wisdom. You had been and is still an inspiration for me to continuously improve myself intellectually. If I ever did anything wrong, I humbly ask you to forgive me. 

MRM.

The long lost past.

9.29am, Malaysian Time