.: Auld Lang Syne :.

Almost there.

Found out that my sister actually reads my blog once a while. Her views were;

• On my brother :: You called him, Indiana Jones? So he made you a geek!

Many years ago, there was only my brother and my sister, when I suddenly popped out of my mums’ belly and assumed the role of baby Godzilla trampling on all his toy soldiers. *I knew they were sneaking treats behind my back. sis said my brother was the brain behind it. too bad he doesn’t know I’m a step ahead. yes, I was a devious child* Ever since I won the telly rights at the age of 5, my brother must have thought this little terror is going in the wrong direction. *Sesame Street beat Transformers. eat cookie, Megatron! Elmo loves you!*

“I found your lack of faith, disturbing” - Darth Vader.

He brought me back to his ‘light’ by feeding me with stories of his misadventures, robotech, macross, gundam, and the likes of it. By the time I realize I have a sister, the damage was too severe to be rectified.

• The Dr. Love advice :: You actually blog on that?

I couldn’t resist. It just seemed too preposterous for someone to ask me that kind of stuff knowing that I have zilch knowledge in it.

• Little brother :: You miss him, don’t you? Call him!

With all the drama that happened and is still happening, I begin to wonder whether I have actually woken up from that Hindi movie I never volunteered to be in.

• Her British Born Pakistani boss :: You! You! I knew it! You are a Paki lover!

As she conveniently drives me nuts, I live to torment her hysterically. Nuf said. *blame it on Indy. He was the one that taught me survival instincts, whatever that is.*

• On our conversations :: Did you say that?

You seriously need a break from work. Let me meet your boss and give him a piece of my mind. How dare he torture my sister? That’s my job!

To my sis :: If you’re reading this, smack me in the head and bring me back to reality. And no, I’m not making that call. Also, I still can’t wipe that sickening image of you reenacting that ILU stuff. Not only did I almost burn my cookies yesterday, I can’t function well at work all thanks to that. *the song, the scene, everything is hovering in my head!* I need to reformat myself else have a major overhaul.

Happy New Year. :)

11.54am Malaysian Time

.: Who you're gonna call? :.

1st Muharram.

In most places here, it's a public holiday. Doesn't apply to me and my sis though. I took the day off while sis went to work. In night time, her office building can pass off as the Ghostbusters firehouse hq.

"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"

Dr. Peter Venkman

Who can forget the slime ball, Slimer? :)

1st Scene - In front of my sister's office building.

Sis :: There's a couple of foreigners. Go and help them.
Me :: One of the joys of being a foreigner is getting lost. *I was lazy*

2nd Scene - On the phone with my friend who's trying to get me to swing by her apartment only to have her hopes mercilessly ruined by me. *I was still lazy*

Malaysian hubby to Malaysian wifey :: I think she's Arab. *he was pointing at me, how rude*

All I said to my friend was "Ya lah". In Malaysian terms, Ya means Yes. Lah is the suffix that accentuates the meaning. Guess they interpreted it as "Yallah".

3rd Scene - At KL Sentral and there was a an Indian couple. *instincts say they're from India* It was like a scene from The Amazing Race. Indian hubby scrutinized the Malaysian public transport map, with Indian wifey frantically looking for signboards. Felt a pang of guilt from the 1st Scene. Wifey went MIA so I approached the hubby.

Me :: Hi, you need any help?
Indian hubby :: Yeah. Do you work for the train?
Me :: *eh?* Nope.
Indian hubby :: Great! How do I get to Subang Jaya?

Me :: Take the KTM. Tell the ticket guy you need 2 tickets to Subang and go down to the platform. Both ways lead to the same platform.

Indian hubby :: Thank you! *Indian wifey suddenly appears.*

*there was no catfight. I made myself scarce immediately after that.*

4th Scene - Home. Sis had a bad day so I thought, why not share my day with her to loosen her up?

Me :: So that's it.
Sis :: You Paki lover you!
Me :: What has that got to do with what I just told you?
Sis :: Isn't it obvious? You look like a Paki!
Me :: That is so not true. I wasn't wearing the shayla.
Sis :: If only I know how to communicate with my brother, I'd ask him to find one for you.
Me :: *to self, Alhamdulillah. that explains why Allah S.W.T only allow me to comprehend his 'cute' English.* He had. He brought his brother to see me, didn't he? And his mum did ask about me.
Sis :: Isn't he a bit too young? Have to get him to find you someone else.
Me :: Look, if you're so bent into this whole thing, I might just end up with one and you'll have a Paki brother-in-law.
Sis :: I hope I do. Especially if he's as nice as my brother. Go find one.
Me :: Right. It's not rocket science, is it? * a sentence her Paki boss loves to use. these days, I use it to churn a chuckle from her*
Sis :: See! You are a Paki lover!

Glad that she wasn't as uptight about her work anymore.

The things I'd do.

9.28am Malaysian Time

.: Awal Muharram :.

Maal Hijrah 1430.

... Masjid Putrajaya ...

---| Merry Christmas! Happy Boxing Day! and a Happy New Year! |---

________________________________________________________

:: A Solemn Affair ::

"I still remember accompanying Tuanku to London one time when an elderly woman stopped him and said "Sir, from your style (clothes) you must be somebody" Ismail said. "Tuanku replied, "No, I'm only a train driver on holiday" --- Source, Bernama.

The Duli Yang Maha Mulia Yang Dipertuan Besar *His Excellency, Ruler* of Negeri Sembilan, Tuanku Ja'afar ibni Almarhum Tuanku Abdul Rahman, a well respected and much loved monarch by his subjects passed away yesterday at the age of 86.

May Allah S.W.T bless the deceased and induce patience to the bereaved family.

________________________________________________________

:: School holidays are ending ::

To all students that will be taking their major exams next year, go for it! The others can jolly well resume your student roles. :)

"What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can."

Henry David Thoreau

加油!

9.41am Malaysian Time

.: One fine day :.

An interview.

Barely a few months after starting my first job, a group of students from a neighboring university paid a visit. Apparently, they were doing research for their assignment concerning racial communications. Friends decided to send them over to my office.

:: Our conversation started off as so ::

Girls:: How do you communicate with other races?
Me:: I beg your pardon?
Girl:: How do you converse? Do you eat with them? What do you guys talk about? What do they think of you? Do you have problems with other races?
Me:: How do you do it?
Girls:: We don't.

I was flabbergasted. Before I could blurt something else ...

Girls:: Well, actually we do. Just that we never got to do much. You know, difference of religion, language, race, culture etc. those barriers.
Me:: It is only a barrier if you see it as one. Once you liberate yourself from it, there really isn't any restrictions comparatively when you commune with someone from your own circle. People are generally the same inside. Surely you don't want to be treated any different from anyone else?

--- total silence ---

The next 1 hour plus, our discussion touched on understanding, accepting, respecting and accommodating to the diversity of others. By the end of it, my colleague alleged that I may had just corrupted their innocent minds or perhaps twisted their very beliefs. For a moment there, I was paranoid whether I'll be chased allover campus by a bunch of furious parents blaring curses at my brainwashing act. No doubt I can outrun them on any given day, though why take the risk?

:: Our final words were ::

Girls:: What if the others don't accept us?
Me:: By accepting others first, in due time will they accept us. Acceptance doesn't come immediately.
Girls:: You're not from around here are you? *that's a loaded one*

--------------------------------------------------------------------

My former colleagues and close friends often say that I'm different. Whether it is a good thing or the other, beats me. The most recent comment I got from my present colleagues of 7 weeks was, "Why are you so different from other girls?". "What is that supposed to mean?". "Well, you don't do girl stuff.". "Like I can do girl stuff with you guys."

All my friends think that I'm destined with someone of a different race and from another country. The idea of me being with a Malay or Malaysian just doesn't fit. *I wonder why* Sis stressed that since I'm the closest to dad I will definitely follow his footsteps. *dad used to say how he's able to trace his relations anywhere in the world.* Mum remains neutral on this. *she did marry dad*

Update 3.03pm :: meeting up with a friend for advanced calculus ... really, using calculus to meet up has got to be the lamest excuse. surely she knows that works like 5 years ago plus I'm all rusty at it ::

Pretty strange world we're living in.

2.07pm Malaysian Time

.: 100 things :.

Feeling tagish.

Got this from Strangerinthisdunya's blog. Realized that I'm usually the one being tagged, so I thought perhaps I could do a reverse.

Rules :: Basically highlight stuff that you've done. :)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity | Insya'Allah in future.
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis | I held a grasshopper ... they're relations, right?
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumping | Trying to get friends to go for it. So far, none. :(
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
    
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child | Thought about it.
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables | Tried, and failed. Someday I might try again.
    
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice | my aunt yelled from the pier insisting I hold on to it for dear life. My brother said "It's ok, if you fall ... I'll save you!" with gondola guy singing in the background.That, did not help.
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community | Interesting.
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David | I was too young to remember what I saw. Remembered my sis saying it's art. I said it's eww. Did a quick google and yeap. Still say it's eww. I feel sick. *to art enthusiasts, sorry for not being able to comprehend it. just too artsy for me.*
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkelling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud | And get spanked from mum?
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie | I was in the news, does that count? :)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies | I do the buying. :)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma | Can't. :(
65. Gone sky diving | Mum will freak out. Lemme get done with the bungee jump and we'll see from there. :)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone | Superman made me do the jump. I was 6.
    
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Qur’an | Alhamdulillah.
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating | Killed and prepared an animal for dissecting. Yes.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous | in my eyes, my dad is famous. :) but yeah, I have met real ''famous' people.
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Tagging Ms. Unique, Hijabee, Lazeena, Hajar, Redanna, Miss Ash, Globe Trekker Diaries, and whoever that feels like doing it. ^

Will be out and about for the next couple of days, hence no posts. Insya'Allah there'll be one on the eve or during the 1st day of Muharram.

Many many cheers to all!

3.15pm Malaysian Time

.: Sing sweet nightingale :.

Random scribbles from my notebook.

Forgetful; I can be so scatty. In Mecca, my sis and I did some last minute shopping. *before friends think that I've finally seen the light, let me straighten it out by saying that i shopped on food, only.* My sis bought a pair of boots cos she gave her sneakers away. Persuaded me to buy a pair of my own. I settled for slip-ons. *I'm ashamed* As we went down the escalator, we heard someone calling "Ya Hajah, Hajah!" Turns out the shopkeeper was calling out to us. So the situation was he's at the top while we're at the bottom of the escalator. He placed a bottle of mineral water on the steps and let it go down. Only then did I realize, hey ... that's my bottle! I could sense the sheepish smiles from the shoppers. My sis said "You just had to make a final scene before we leave, don't you?". Little did we know that the best was yet to come. :)

The devil wears Prada; I detest heels. Despise it to the max. My heels aren't that high. In fact, it's about 2 inches. *mind you, they're not even stilettos* Despite that, I can never walk properly in it. Honestly, I feel like a flamingo on stilts. How do people maintain their poise, grace? Also, if I hate it so much, why do I have it? Simple. I did the mistake of purchasing the heels. A moment of folly that ended up with me being intolerably antagonized by it. The instant I reach home, I sure look forward to kick the bloody heels aside.

*Heels finally giving way! *I should really throw a party ...* So I got a new pair. Sandals. And NO HEELS!*

Running; I tend to run at times, for no particular reason. Often I get lectured, cos when I do, I'll either fall or bump into something or someone.*it happens* The whole Cinderella casually dropping her glass slipper scene? Done that countless times.*blame the heels, blame the heels!* Incidentally, it happened in Saudi too.

In most cases, the turn of events are like so :: I run, take a wrong step and my shoe flip.*yeap, it flips ... if you happen to catch such a spectacle in KL, chances are that person is me* Fairly used to it now. These day, to avoid losing my shoe or having that embarrassing disaster, I buy sandals with straps.

" ... and they lived happily every after".

3.18pm Malaysian Time

.: Close call :.

Snatch theft.

Friday. Was on my way home when the guy in front of me became a victim. It happened in a split second. Alhamdulillah. No one got hurt.

Masjid As-Syakirin KLCC [ Kuala Lumpur City Centre ]

Before that, I wanted to have my Asar prayers at home. Home meant that I'll have to qada' cos I won't make it in time. That really won't do since I've been doing that for the last couple of days. On second thoughts, I thought of Masjid As-Syakirin. I guess the most feasible is the latter alternative. Of course there are other places that are nearer though something beckoned me to go there.

So I notified mum about the incident *mum didn't say much* and told her I'll be at KLCC till Maghrib jama'ah prayers. Found out that there will be a talk on Ahlus Sunnah wal Jamaah after that. Called mum again and asked whether I can stay for it, till after Isya', which is around 9.30pm. *Isya' jamaah prayer begins at 9.15pm after the talk* Amazingly, mum said ok. *she made me go back with my uncle though*

The mosque is separated into 3 levels. The ground floor is the hall, 1st floor is the men's section and for women, it is on the 2nd floor. We have full view of the men's section, thus I was able to take some shots. There weren't many women, and the few are mostly the regulars staying nearby or members of the masjid. *if i'm not mistaken, KLCC has a musolla at level 4 so shoppers usually frequent there instead of the mosque located close to the park*

Being new to the mosque, I really didn't know my way. Thankfully, the women were really helpful. For the talk, the Imam asked us to join in the men's section. *yeap, more photos* There were foreigners amongst the locals, however the talk was in Malay. While some paid attention, others read the Qur'an or zikr. As soon as I was done with my prayers, my uncle picked me up.

For Muharram, they'll be having recitations and other activities. Insya'Allah, I'll be going there to find out more about it.

And perhaps be a part of it. :)

10.02am Malaysian Time

.: Mirror mirror :.

On the wall, who's the fairest one of all?

:: Situation ::

My friend, and I stayed together. Twas bedtime and this came up.

Friend :: Hajar, you're fair right?
Me :: Eh?
Friend :: I mean your skin. You're born fair right?

Once upon a time, I was fair. Now I come across as a Malayan Tapir. In junior high, I joked with my sister saying "Cool~ I'm a zebra!" And my sister said "You used to be so cute ... what happened?". "Simple, you left me with brother!".

My sister can pass off as an Indonesian Chinese. Few days ago, she brought this up. "You know, when you were small. You looked Chinese when you wore that oriental inspired pajamas.". Between us siblings, my sister is the fairest. My brother and I take turns for the 2nd place. There was only 1 time when I was fairer than her. That was because my sister went hiking and tanned herself. *she was burnt* In the long run, she gave up on advising me to use lotions, creams and stuff to help me regain my fairness. Mum and auntie know me so they shrewdly surrendered without a fight. :)

Now the role is shifted to some of my friends. They tried telling me "You are naturally fair. You just need to lather yourself with some gook and it'd come back easily." My response was "The damage had been severely done. It'd take me eons of being soaked in bleach to neutralize the damaged layers." Then they tried, "Guys dig fair girls. Don't you wanna get married?". I say "Then my husband is gonna be someone who's blind enough to see me for something that others refuse to see." Some tried with "You'll feel good. Trust us." I retorted with "I'm good the way I am, thank you."

Really, I don't understand what is this obsession with fairness. The commercials reverberate on how effective their whitening products are, and I find it creepy when people apply thick foundation, make-up on their faces when we can clearly see from their hands, neck, and feet that they are a darker shade. The lamest ad I ever saw started with women of various shades, emphasizing on how beautiful they are irregardless of their skin color yet in the end, it still came off with "Whatever color you are, we have the whitening product that suits your needs.". You just said they are beautiful the way they are! Needless to say, I also have issues with people using perfumes as if they had marinated themselves in it, but we'll leave that for now. Also, I'm not deliberately coming down on anyone, therefore please do not be offended.

Where's Sleepy?

4.58pm Malaysian Time

.: Subsequent tag :.

Tagged by Ms. Unique.

• Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
• They have to be real place, names, things, nothing made up!
• Try to use different answers if the person who tagged you had the same 1st initial. *Hijabee, we have a problem. :)*
  
• You can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.
  

1. What is your name: Hajar.
2. A 4 Letter word: Hide.
3. A Boys Name: Hyde.
4. A Girls Name: Hana.
5. A Color: Heliotrope. *almost developed a migraine for this*
   
6. Something you wear: Hijab .
7. A Beverage: Honey and lime tea.
8. A Food: Halva.
9. Something found in the bathroom: Hand soap.
10. A place: Haiti.
11. A Reason for being late: Had to go back cos I forgot to take something.
12. Something you shout: Haih~

Tagging Hijabee, Miss Ash, and anyone else that wants to have a go at it.

11.17am Malaysian Time

.: 5 Things :.

Tagged by the ever lovely Ms. Unique and Hijabee.

5 Things I was doing 10 years ago

• I was in school.
• Finished reading the books in the school library.
• Was addicted to coffee.
• Got hooked to computer games.
• Climbed a tree. *we were young*

5 Things On My To-Do List

• Buy brown food coloring. *it's for my mum*
• Post this tag. :)
• Finalize my report.
• Revise for classes.
• Complete reading the Quran translations.

5 Snacks I Like

• Chocolate.
• Kerepek *Malay crisps*
• Muruku *Indian crisps*
• Kacang Tumbuk [Malay] | Kong Th’ng [Hokkien] | Peanut bar [English]
• Fah Sang Koh | Peanut Cake [English]

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire

*I'm a simple person, and a keen practitioner on the art of frugality. If I had a million, chances are it'd be kept in the bank untouched or I'll give it away. Quite contradictory. *

• Charity.
• Bank.

5 places I have lived ( for various lengths of times)

• Bedok North, S'pore.
• Johor Bharu, M'sia.
• Woodlands, S'pore.
• Nilai, M'sia.
• Kuala Lumpur, M'sia. [current]

5 Jobs I have had

• Tutor [still].
• Performing Arts.
• Officer.
• Consultant [still].
• Business Development [current].

5 people I Tag

• Serendipitouslife
  
• Farhana
• Pathway of Devotion
  
• Redanna
  
• Heryanti

Off for the next tag. ^^

10.31am Malaysian Time

.: Kitchen nightmares :.

It has finally begun.

Kleeja | Pengat Keledek *sweet potato cooked in coconut milk* | Ketupat *rice in woven palm leaves* | Dishware | Pineapple Lemon Cheesecake | Daging Briyani *briyani meat, in this case lamb was used* | Nasi Briyani |

Eid Spread *ketupat - kuah kacang *peanut sauce* - serunding *shredded meat* - kuah lodeh *vegetables cooked in coconut milk* - varieties of rendang *dry curry* - sambal tumis *fried chilli paste*

• || kuah kacang - also known as sambal kacang, kuah satay or sambal satay. [sambal is normally referred to a dish that is spicy, has chilli ... kuah means gravy]. satay @ sate is spicy grilled meat on skewers.
  
• || kuah lodeh - also known as kuah lontong. [lontong is rice cooked in banana leaves]
• || pengat - refers to savory dishes, has a relatively thicker consistency as compared to savory bubur *porridge* because of the coconut milk used.
  
• || ketupat - tastes similar to nasi himpit or nasi kapit *compressed rice*. difference is that ketupat is wrapped in palm leaves.
  

__________________________________________

Aunt :: When your uncle comes over this Christmas, do some baking so that I can talk him into buying a new oven.
Me :: Why? *I'm pretty much contented with the little oven used since my grandma's days*
Aunt :: With a bigger oven, you're able to bake lots of cookies at one go. Also, we've decided that you will bake cookies next Eid. And I've already bought you the baking utensils and ingredients.

My sister said that I should resign to my fate. Her exact words were :: "That's what you get for showing your skill."

WHAT SKILL?

Addendum [Dec. 17, 3.31pm] :: Mumsy and aunts are deep in thought of getting me to dabble further into the cooking stuff. If it weren't for the love for food, and the scary thought of not being able to eat decent mom's cooking ... I wouldn't give a hoot at it. For the record, I'd like to come clean by saying I only made the simple stuff in the mosaic. The heavy ones were by mum, with me as the kitchen helper @ compelled bystander. When it comes to making food to be eaten by the whole big family or outsiders, I evade from taking the lead. Believe me, I can get you poisoned. *unintentionally*

8.58am Malaysian Time

.: Quid pro quo :.

Between race and values.

Some time ago, I caught a snippet in the news of an Islamic conference held here. The speaker, an American was saying he admired how Malaysians are living harmoniously with one another notwithstanding the differences. His actual words were: "I have seen people being nice to people they don't know or are different from them. I myself have experienced that here. " Statements like these make you feel good inside, don't they?

Which brings me back to an incident happened earlier this year. There were racial sentiments against the African community, mainly fights involving them and the locals highlighted in the media. In response to this, a former colleague sent an email to all asserting that Africans do not mean harm and tried to shift the focus to the beauty of the continent and its people. It is really sad when one bad apple spoils the bunch, resulting to the general public to stigmatize. As of now, the situation has cooled down. Alhamdulillah.

From my own experience, I accompanied a group of Africans to the hospital. As the only local, the question I got was "They are your friends?". Coming back to office, I submitted my report. "Are you insane?" was what my friends bellowed at me. Apparently, traveling at midnight with them is madness. *even if my duties do not compel me to commit to it, there is no way i am leaving a sick person.*

People have mixed opinions on racial issues. Now and again, the media will bring forth news of dissatisfaction. Whilst the foreigners are saying they are misunderstood, the locals say that they are being stepped on. However, when it comes to being humane as in the plight of foreigners being duped into coming here promised with jobs only to end up without any shelter, or basic necessities; the hearts of locals and foreigners alike go out to them therein bigotry sentiments are non-existent. To witness the living conditions of these very people, is downright disturbing.

In all, we certainly do get stories of Malaysians being hoodwinked the living daylights out of them. As much as I pity them, I can't help but be unsympathetic for the ones that deliberately put themselves in that condition. Absconding to a foreign country, although self knowingly that the way itself is Machiavellian only to beg for clemency to come back home upon realizing that all isn't that fine and dandy there, is inviting sacrilege from me.

______________________________________________

Being subjected to criticisms when in search of a sense of belonging from a community that is supposed to shelter oneself from the harsh conditions only to be denied of one's rights. Makes one wonder, if you can't rely on your own community and they negate your very existence, is there a glimmer of hope that you shall be duly accepted in the community of others? And if yes, does it not tickle you? Should you turn your back to the ones that refuse you, will it be wrong when you are just depicting a mirror image of themselves?

It doesn't necessarily take one, to know one.

9.18am Malaysian Time

.: Where's waldo :.

Tagged by Redanna.

1) Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now.
2) Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture.
3) Post that picture with NO editing.
4) Post these instructions with your picture.
5) Tag 10 people to do this.

The only recent 'group + colleague + events' photo.

I had half a mind to put up a photo of my hand, but that would be far too much, wouldn't it? Thus, let's play a guessing game. Guess which one is me. *sorry, I'm feeling cheeky today, but if you follow my blog, it's a piece of cake* There shall be no prizes for the correct guess, and sorry to say that I will not disclose whether your guess is right. *if I trust you enough, perhaps ... drop me an email and we'll see.* Nevertheless, I'm there alright. :)

Normally, I am the person behind the camera. Not the person in front. Moreover, as an uber camera shy person, I have a propensity to take flight whenever people want to take photos of @ with me. In spite of this, there are several times when people do get away with it. *excluding close friends, bully for you!* Plus, I do not camwhore. There goes any possibility of me putting up any of my self-taken photos. *along with me having issues of placing my photo on the net, seriously ...*

PS :: To friends that know me in the real world, my comments are moderated. :)

Tagging anyone that feels like doing it.

8.41pm Malaysian Time

.: 微笑んでください :.

Mr. Happy and Little Miss Sunshine.

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."

Thich Nhat Hahn

First advice from my former superior :: "When you walk, look at everyone. Don't keep your head low. After that, spread your smile. It helps break the ice."

Last advice from my mentor :: "Keep the smile."

So I must have smiled a lot, right? *lol*

I still walk with my head low. Am just used to it. A game that I used to play with my cousins during our childhood is that whenever we got stuck in traffic, we'll smile wider than a Cheshire cat's grin, while concurrently waving frantically to the people in the next car to see their reaction. The thrill is when we try to do so to someone that looks like the whole world crashed down on him. I guess because we were kids, we often got away with it.

Someone said that when I'm down in the dumps, I'll lug everyone to ride the boat of gloom and sail through the murky miserable waters with me. Truth is, to maintain cheerfulness in a distressing situation is no small feat. Occasionally, I'll casually start throwing smiles to strangers. Doing so, do invite stares from people. At most, they'll give me a puzzled look, wondering what I'm up to. Whatever the reaction is, it sure help bring out a little spark of ecstasy in me. Even if the upshot is a scowl. *the idea of getting a glare or a good telling off attests that for a moment, I had crossed the persons' mind ... that alone is joy enough for me. weird, huh?*

The adage that it takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, used to work until I started to question on the validity. At least, a smile is a form of sadaqah, is it not? Why are many of us holding back then? Giving it away does not mean we are losing it. Instead, it brings forth a sense of contentment to oneself for sharing one's happiness. With earnest sincerity, the smiles we have on our faces will be returned with the smiles from others. Ultimately, not only will it do good for others, in due course it will bring about a similar effect on us.

Therefore, bring some sunshine into someone's day, add a little twinkle in your eyes, spread the warmth and ...

Smile. :)

11.34pm Malaysian Time

.: Elusive gap :.

Here's a continuation of Days of Our Lives.

Sis :: Have you wished my little brother?
Me :: Kind' a. I text him.
Sis :: Did he reply?
Me :: Nope.
Sis :: Call him.
Me :: I already text him.
Sis :: What do you have against him? So he's a Paki, so? *works every time*
Me :: It has nothing to do with that! Darn it! *me, all crumbled ... aih~, I'm pathetic.*

So I relented and called ::

1st call. - some guy spoke in Arabic. | 2nd call. - no one picked up. | 3rd call. - switched to speaker phone. someone spoke in Urdu. we hung up.

Sis :: Make sure you call him again later.

______________________________________________

Me ranting away :: "Wah lau wei! Dude, you faster faster get married lah! Cannot tahan liao. Wat lah. Oredi sien ley." This is Manglish, roughly translated as, "Dude, get married fast. Can't stand it no more. Bored of it." What I'm trying to say is, "Get married fast so my sister will finally end this sick fetish of hers."

______________________________________________

Friends told me to ignore my sis. She thinks I'm too weak to do that. In truth, she's right. ~sigh. Remember the wedding present? She wants to give a holiday package to one of the islands in Malaysia. Honestly, I don't mind. I sort of know the bride, along with the groom's family. Plus we did say that we'll take care of them should they ever come here so I guess it'd be fun. *not kidding*

The only thing hindering me is when I found out that his mum wishes to know more about me. *why not my sister?* Sis said that's a good thing. It's good alright, getting to know people and stuff. Only thing is, I don't speak Urdu thus I can never strike any conversation with his mum on the cell. *voice coming from the back of my head ... 'You can speak Hindi!' ... knocks self* Sure, we can survive on sign-language via video-conferencing. Too bad I don't have a webcam. *i refuse to use it.* Eventually, I managed to talk my sis out of the holiday package and settling with some other wedding gifts. *Pheeww~*

Anyway, the idea of me getting hitched and settling in Saudi appeals to her and mum as much as chocolate is to me. I am just rendered speechless.

Adding in, ever since Hajj, my sis has developed this fetish in matchmaking me with guys she thinks has the 'little brother-in-law material'. To date, I can roughly recall about 3 guys. *she scrutinizes each 'candidate'* Somehow my life has become a form of entertainment for her. Really not that bad. The only thing that drives me up the wall is when she does these kind of things.

Thankfully, it is a once in a blue moon occurrence. When it does happen, instead of being bitter about it, I'll turn a deaf ear and sleep on it.

Sleeping is good. :)

12.04am Malaysian Time

.: Crushing cardamoms :.

With the mortar and pestle.

Sister Farhana organized an Eid food swap; Delicioso Swap. 

1st Photo:: From Sister Nadi.
2nd Photo:: From Me.

To Sister Farhana:: Thanks for arranging the swap. Had loads of fun fixing up the parcel. ^

To Sister Nadi:: Thanks a mil' for the gorgeous package! I still remember that I owe you the Kleeja recipe. Insya'Allah, I'll email it to you later today. ^

Because of the swap, I'm finally moving on the whole cooking thing. :) Mum got pretty excited when I started asking her where's the saffron. She was like "What do you need?". Next thing I know, she brought massive amounts of ingredients as if I'm cooking a gargantuan feast. Looking on the bright side, we now have ample spices, nuts to last us till next Eid.

Think I'll rummage through Nadi's package so I can whip something up to soothe this dry throat of mine. :)

Have a good day!

2.17pm Malaysian Time

.: عيد الأضحى :.

Eid Al-Adha.

Commonly known in Malaysia as "Hari Raya Aidiladha", "Hari Raya Haji"
or else "Hari Raya Korban".

______________________________________________

:: Eid Wishes ::

*goes out to everyone. I'll be occupied with the preparations & stuff, hence the advanced wishes are just in case I can't spare the time.*

Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 4, Book 52, Number 43:

Narrated 'Aisha:

(That she said), "O Allah's Apostle! We consider Jihad as the best deed. Should we not fight in Allah's Cause?" He said, "The best Jihad (for women) is Hajj-Mabrur (ie. Hajj which is done according to the Prophet's tradition and is accepted by Allah)."

• English ---| May our days be filled with endless bliss and blessings from Allah S.W.T, amongst the accompaniment of family and friends; for the life in the present as well as the life in the hereafter. Happy Eid! ^

• Malay ---| Semoga hari-hari kita yang mendatang akan dipenuhi dengan kegembiraan dan keberkatan yang tidak terkira dari Allah S.W.T di samping keluarga dan rakan-taulan, baik untuk kehidupan di dunia maupun kehidupan di akhirat kelak. Selamat Hari Raya! ^

______________________________________________

Insya'Allah. ^^

12.59am Malaysian Time

.: When in masjid :.

Tagged by Ms. Unique.

The rules are :

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. List 3 hadith which you would like to pin up at the masjid and why.
3. Tag some of your blogger friends by linking to them and please let them know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

:: Taken from Sahih Al-Bukhari, Book 73 ::

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 65:

Narrated Al-Aswad:

I asked 'Aisha what did the Prophet (s.a.w) use to do at home. She replied. "He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer."

In an age thereby husbands are slowly becoming increasingly accommodating to helping out with the household chores, this hadith might incite some thought to the communities, for both women and men that still consider it as a degrading task. Putting friends and other things above our family ... family squabbles ... breaking ties ... little time spared for family time ... broken down family units ... the list is endless. Despite having our beloved Prophet (s.a.w); with his behavior and kindness to his family and ummah as an example, how many of us are emulating it?

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 90:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the others' faults and do not spy, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah's worshipers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you!")

On several occasions, I have witnessed the masjid as the center for backbiting. Rather ironic when we come there with the sole purpose of offering our prayers to be spiritually closer to Allah S.W.T yet we end it by being spiteful through tattling blasphemy about our colleagues, friends, family etcetera. Really, what do people wish to achieve by speaking ill or finding the faults of others?

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 146:

Narrated Anas bin Malik:

The Prophet said, "Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse (them )."

To remind oneself to be merciful by accepting the repentance of others, being compassionate, just and fair as well as to never place them under a state of despair or oppression.

Some may get the misconception that the hadith above means that one can neglect the religious obligations to Allah S.W.T. No doubt that work, family, friends and etc. takes much of our time albeit by all means, surely it should not be a defense to abandon our duties to Allah S.W.T as He most certainly does not overburden a soul more than it can bear.

Bearing in mind that this is a tag, I'm tagging Sister Najeeba, Sister Fatimah, Pathway of Devotion and whomsoever that wishes to share their thoughts. Heaps of thanks again to Ms. Unique for tagging me. :)

Addendum 26 Dec. :: Tagging Fisabilillah.

Tag! Ur it! :P

1.43am Malaysian Time

.: The bucket list :.

Tagged by Ms. Unique. *Insya’Allah, I’ll get to the other one momentarily.*

"Simply state any number of goals you want to achieve in the next 8-10 years. Let them be small goals, big goals, silly goals. It is always nice to think about a bucket list, write it down, and share it. But most importantly, tag others to do the same when you are done and link back to the person who tagged you."

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1. Year | Complete Mandarin Classes + speak fluent Mandarin + finally going on that backpacker’s trip to China *as long as time and other factors do not deter It, I shall remain adamant of going.*
2. Years | Speak fluent Arabic.
3. Years | Send my parents for Umrah for the whole month of Ramadhan.
   
4. Years | Organize my sister’s wedding. *one shall pray and hope, if it happens earlier, I’m all the more happy for her.*
5. Years | To achieve the goals set and focus on the subsequent ones. ^^
6. Years | Go to the zoo. *weird eh?* + at long last, able to take medication like people normally do.
7. Years | Nothing. Giving myself a break. :)
   
8. Years | To be a good aunt. *I’m hinting to my siblings … gimme my nephew or niece! Pronto! Really, I’m not getting any younger, so please do not negate me the pleasure of chasing them around while I still can. Alternatively, I could get a husband that comes with nephews and nieces ... but nah, i'm too lazy for that. Never can comprehend the whole searching mechanism.*
9. Years | To reminiscence ever doing this tag that had aided in paving a remarkable journey to achieving at least some of my goals, and to remind myself to offer du’a to the wonderful sister that made it happen.^
10. Years beyond | Still retain my way of life, the happiness, the quirkiness along with gratifying and glorifying Allah S.W.T for keeping the faith as well as the immeasurable blessings and guidances bestowed upon me, my loved ones as well as the kind souls that I have encountered over the years.

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May the hopes of all that came along with the passing of the bucket motion be granted accordingly by Allah S.W.T. to the extent which He decree is the best for us, in this life and for the life in the hereafter. Insya'Allah.

Passing the bucket of to Heryanti, Ummi and just about anyone else. ^

Addendum, Dec. 10th :: Bucket passed to Redanna. 

2.55pm Malaysian Time

.: Mind your language :.

The first lesson.

Anyone remember the comedy series? Besides Mr. Bean and The Black Adder, those series paved me the path to discovering the dryness of British humor. *now the theme song is stuck in my head ... crap*


The whole time during Hajj, I spent most of my time conversing in English, Malay and Indonesian. By now, most of you would know that my sister adopted a Pakistani brother. *will there be more drama this Eid?*

This was pretty much the first conversation we had then, after the adoption. *coughs*

Sis :: Why don't you speak to him in his language?
Me :: Urdu? I can't speak Urdu.
Sis :: Of course you can. It sounds Hindi.
Me :: Think they share a common lexicon, when spoken on a colloquial scale are virtually identical.
Sis :: It's the same then. Go speak to him in Hindi.
Me :: I can't speak Hindi.
Sis :: Look here. Of course you can. Haven't auntie exposed us to tonnes of Hindi movies?
Me :: I don't remember any. *so i lied ... haha!*
Sis :: I'll teach you some.
Me :: Why don't you speak to him?
Sis :: You guys connect better. Repeat after me - mera nam Hajar. You are mere dosti?
Me :: Hogwash! I can't be speaking in a hodge-podge language.
Sis :: Come on. Repeat after me!
Me :: No! I shall not bastardize the language!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

In truth, I do know some Hindi. My aunt was like one huge Big B fan, hence at the rate she was feeding us with his movies, it is nearly impossible for us to not pick up any of the language. Even now, we still have our daily dosage of Hindi 101, courtesy of the Zee Channel. Obviously, my Hindi is nowhere near the intermediate level.

These days, I'll throw in a word or two in my conversations with my sis to spite her. *her present superior is a British born Pakistani.* I like to tease her about this. Not that I'm being bigoted, it's just that he is driving her up the wall so I'm trying to ease it up a little for her. Actually, I am in agreement to most of his methods. Then again, what works for some may not work for others. Judging from the present situation, no matter the amount of talks we have about this, it is sometimes pointless to make people see things in the same way just because it is arduous. *plus the fact of being total opposites.* Guess communication and compromise are the next best things.

One time I told her, "He can't be that sarcastic. Hey, I wanna meet him. You always say I am all goody-goody. Tell him to bring his wifey, kiddies and whomsoever he pleases for lunch or something ... we could have a casual chat, and perhaps something good will turn out of it." In which my sis responded with, "You are a Paki lover!". *What? talk about sending me a free trip to the land of perplexity* Eventually, the nick stuck on to me. *jolly days are here again!*

What a tangled web.

9.14am Malaysian Time

.: 蒲公英的約定 :.

Dandelion's promise; symbol of trust.

Many years ago, I made a promise to myself. Hence, the first time I heard the song, it transported me back to my primary school days. The childlike pinkie promises. ^^

One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises that one makes.

~Friedrich Nietzsche

Unfortunately, I have lost count of the promises I made then. I suppose, that justifies why I hardly promise anything, in fear of not being able to keep to it due to my scatterbrained nature.

To date, I have had my fair share of breaching my words. The decision to breach is not out of choice but duly because of circumstances. For the most part, it revolves around the feelings of others. *this doesn't come off as a good argument, does it?* When with intent, it is often accompanied with valid and legit reasoning. While some may perceive it as genuine, there are others that may take it as mere wretched pretexts.

Whichever the situation may be, breaking a word is the worst of acts in eradicating the trusts that others have laid upon you. Therefore, when placed under severe circumstances, and after taking into account the possible consequences of a seemingly drastic decision, only then shall I opt that path even though deep down I strongly oppose of such things. To be frank about it, I am greatly disgusted. Including of myself.

As of now, I shall hang on to the ones that I have committed myself to, and pray hard that I shall not have to resort to any means of breaking any of it. Insya'Allah.

But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep...

~Robert Frost

Note :: After almost 2 weeks of absence from the blogging realm, it puzzles me on the amount of blogging material that I came up with, which are mostly crap. *Haha~* I am stashing it up should there ever rise a time when I'll post it. :)

Promises of a lifetime.

12.28am Malaysian Time