.: Reprise :.

Road to somewhere.

“Leave your home and contemplate that which surrounds you. Climb mountains, traverse valleys, ascend trees, and drink sweet, pure spring water. Thereupon, you find your soul to be free like the bird that sings and swims in the sky in perfect rapture.”

’Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni

On Saturday, I'll be going down to my former workplace just to spend some time with friends. Been approximately 7 months since I last met them, thus it's about time I pay a courtesy call. Additionally, I'll cease blogging for about a week or so seeing that I have some issues to resolve. Insha'Allah, I'll be back soon enough.

Have a blessed week everyone!

9.20pm Malaysian Time

.: China 101 :.

Trigger.

One of my group members in school was a brother from Harbin, Heilongjiang China. On one occasion, he showed me a giant pandas clip on his lappy, and told me stories about the gargantuan ice and snow sculpture exhibitions held there. In a nutshell, I got distracted by the pandas rolling around clip, which made him switch to speaking about pandas instead. Then he started playing songs. Sad, solemn, depressing songs. I cringe each time he did that and I pulled the stops when he wanted to transfer some of those songs into my lappy.

Sometimes our group discussions, assignments and projects will end close to 5am. Being the only girl in the group, he never fails to remind the others about this, hence I suppose I received special treatment because of it. Age-wise, he is the big brother and to some extent, a protector. So I had a sad, solemn, depressing big brother terribly annoyed when I refused to pronounce panda the way he did. A year later, he pursued his studies in the UK, and we lost contact. Initially, I was supposed to pursue my studies there with him, but I guess fate had other things in store for me. In this case, I am entirely at fault.

Xiong mao …

Panda .......

Xiong mao …

Panda .......

Xiong mao …

Panda .... :P

I’m currently listening to this sad, solemn, depressing song and my thoughts just fleeted to him. His favorite sentence was ...

"If anybody bullies you, let me know. I’ll bring you back to China."

He doesn’t have to do that since I’m going there on my own. Not to Harbin though. I’ll freeze there. As it is, I'm already freezing in Malaysia.

What are the odds of that happening ...

7.33pm Malaysian Time

.: Double swap :.

Gifts.

The books I sent to Sister Farhana.

Left :: Al-Ghazali: Kimiya-e Saadat - The Alchemy of Happiness Based on the translation by Claude Field

Right :: Rumi: The Book of Love; Coleman Barks

Initially, I was supposed to choose a book but I just had to send her another one. For the first book, I like to inject happiness into my life. *somehow this didn't turn out right ...* I figure you can never have an excess of happiness. Additionally, during my spare time I dabble in poetry, Rumi being one of the recent choices.

And this is my brilliant gift pack I received yesterday afternoon! Sister Farhana's choice of gifts are out of this world! The theme is "Love" and yeah, I can sense the amount of "Love" it harbors. Just the very thing I need to set my gears running smoothly again. *my previous post is me absorb in a melancholic stage ... it happens once in a while ...*

The first thing that caught my eye was ... TWIX!!! Yes, we do have this here and I was addicted to it in high school. ^^

Secondly, was the Sauce Mix!!! *ermm ... both are uhh ... food?* Insha'Allah, I'll make it later this week.

Thirdly, the Diary or Journal!!! I was contemplating on getting another one as I'm halfway through mine and since this has Rumi, all the more hearts fluttered when I flipped through the pages. *so yeah, the pages are empty but ... I so heart the cover!!!*

Fourth, the Cards!!! Urmm ... kiddies? In teacups? Absolute cuteness~!!!

Fifth, the Wallet!!! Honestly, I don't use wallets, purses or anything equivalent. I'm more of a money pouch type of person. But I like blue. :) *you remembered, thank you*

Sixth, was the Fashion Jewellery!!! Cool~ I don't use these so it may just end up in my jewellery box along with my other trinkets, shining magnificently on its own. ^^These are really gorgeous and I'll try to find some occasions to eventually wear them.

Seventh, was the Bookmark/Magnet!!! I didn't notice it at all! I thought it was part of the Diary/Journal!!! I quite smacked myself on the head for not realizing it sooner.

Alhamdulillah, these are my lovely gifts from dearest Sister Farhana. THANK YOU SO MUCH~!!! I really can't thank you enough. I was in the kitchen doing some food photography for my mum *still got little bits of that melancholic feeling* when my aunt came running to me with this package. There and then, I opened it in the kitchen with my sis, aunt and mum each one having a questioning look splashed on their faces. It sure made my day more splendid that it already is.

Jazakallahu khairan ya Farhana.

The wait has ended alright.

9.39pm Malaysian Time

.: Conflict remains :.

Backtracking.

我不明白 … Do you know the meaning?

Yeah. It means I don’t understand.

I won’t be around to teach you anymore …

…

I won’t be around you like always …

…

But I am with you … always …

我不明白 …

You will … one day …

我不明白! 我不明白! 我不明白!

From that day onwards, an invisible wall encased me. I no longer laugh, smile from the bottom of my heart since I left it back at the school field. In replacement, lies a heart of stone, gradually eroded over the years ...

... and I’ve finally understood.

Thus, begins the journey to rediscover.

7.29pm Malaysian Time

.: The south :.

And I'm back.

No doubt it was a short trip, but it sure felt good to be back in the South and reconnect with just about everything.

I reached the train station around 6am and took the bus back home. Dang! They changed the bus route! It no longer passes the Masjid Sultan Abu Bakar thus my hopes of taking any photos of it and the Straits of Johor? Kapishh!

Mum :: Where’s the cab?
Me :: I took the bus.
Dad :: Told you she will take the bus.

On top of that, my mango tree was chopped off! Nooo~!!! There goes my climbing activity. Moments later, I had a long talk with mum. Dad listened in. They are very compromising of things and I’m glad I made the trip. Soon after, my friend text on our get-together. Spent a couple of hours with her and I spent the night at home going through some old photographs.

The next morning, dad sent me to the train station.

Mum :: Your dad insists on sending his little girl. Entertain him and keep him in sight, will you? I’ll rush there after my class.
Dad :: Aih~ your mum and her worries …

I had a spectacular joyride in the train. It was the last day of school holidays in Malaysia and I guess everyone was making their way home. I was practically surrounded by kids, kids and more kids hyperactively running back and forth! The multiple levels of screams, giggles and cheekiness! Aih~ why didn’t I charge my batteries? Imagine the shots I could have captured!

In short, everything was a blast. ^^

7.17pm Malaysian Time

.: Masjid Sultan Abu Bakar :.

An artwork by itself.

Source from Tourism Johor Darul Ta'zim

Raised high above the hill overlooking the Straits of Johor and Singapore, lies the majestic Masjid Sultan Abu Bakar. It was commissioned by the "Father of Modern Johor", the late Sultan Abu Bakar in 1892 and the construction was completed in 1900. Furthermore, it is one of the oldest and most beautiful mosques in Malaysia.

_________________________________

Slight change of plans. I'm going down South tonight~!!! Back in high school, I used to frequent this mosque with friends.

Yesterday, I contacted my primary school friend telling her I'm coming down and all so perhaps we can finally meet up as we haven't met for 8 long years! Found out that she's having several problems which includes her dad being recently involved in an accident... I didn't know how to react when I heard that, though I told her to hang on, I'll pray for her dad's recovery and we'll talk further when I'm there. Hopefully, my presence will help to alleviate her worries a little. On another note, my dad was not feeling too well either last week, but Alhamdulilah he is doing much much better now.

Happy Juma'ah to everyone!

9.27am Malaysian Time

.: Unconscious houdini :.

Streams of it.

There are times when one can only plan.

There are times when one needs to do what one has set to do.

There are times when in order to find oneself, one has to venture out.

Can they no longer differentiate between true sadness and true happiness?

"My life is a battle." - Voltaire

This is no longer a whimsical fantasy. It has transmogrified into a need, a must have. Without it, one shall risk sinking deeper into losing oneself. Scattered around are the missing fragments. It is one thing to gather it all and piece it back together. It is another thing to hold dearly the ones that are still attached and ensure that it does not break apart into a million tiny pieces.

The journey to find oneself. The journey towards withholding a belief. The journey against all odds.

And the epic battle has begun.

7.55pm Malaysian Time

.: Mimicking houdini :.

The getaway(s).

Not 1, not 2 but 3 getaways~!!!

The first involves me crashing in the countryside to where I worked before. To have loads and loads of fun filled laughter with friends whom I regard as the humongous family I never had. Plus to meet new friends that I came to know after I left. *The miracles of FaceBook*. This will be on June 27th.

The second involves me going further down south to MY BELOVED SOUTHERN HOME!!! I haven't gone back for quite a long time. I miss the dear old mango tree. *is it still there?* I miss having dinners with my parents in the living room. I miss the feeling of being the 'only' and youngest child. I miss my Southern friends. Needless to say, I miss everything there is to love or hate in the South. I am still speculating whether I should go on June 19th or July 10th.

The final getaway is the journey to the north-east. I will keep this under wraps for now at least till I get my tickets Insha'Allah today. ^^ 

All I can say is, Alhamdulillah!

2.19pm Malaysian Time

.: Stops en route :.

Road tripping.

Fulfill your obligations to Allah and you will become the best worshiper or devotee among men. Avoid all the forbidden things that Allah has decreed and you will become the most ascetic of all. Be pleased with what Allah has decreed for you and you will become the richest of all.

'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud; Source: Al-Muhabbihat

One of the musollas located at the rest and service areas [RSA] on our way to the state of Perak Darul Ridzuan from Kuala Lumpur.

Kudos to Plus Expressways Berhad [PEB] for providing adequate and commendable RSAs, Vista points and Lay by-s!

Happy Juma'ah everyone! :)

8.26am Malaysian Time

.: Guilty :.

Inner turmoil.

To be honest with everyone, I haven’t been cooking for close to a month as I couldn’t find the time. So I did manage to make fried rice last week and noodles this week but I won’t call that as cooking because I didn’t involve any passion in it. I cooked because I had to eat something and I refused to order take-outs. It wasn’t because I wanted to create a food masterpiece.

Yesterday, we ordered Mcdonald’s. It made me realize why I preferred to slave away in the kitchen, willingly.

Mcdonald’s tasted like cardboard.

After I forcibly devoured the burger, and had to look the other way when my sister threw my fries in the garbage because I felt like puking just by looking at it, it came to my senses on the kind of things I have been consuming for the last few weeks.

• Have I reached the age whereby fast food joints have now repulsed me?
• How many more fries will end in the garbage bin?
• Don’t people eat good food anymore?
• Don’t people cook anymore?
• Aren’t people concerned in having a healthy diet?

Hence, I am hoping to start anew in my cooking escapades. Decided to take small steps in trying to redevelop a healthy lifestyle and abstain from putting more garbage in me. *besides the fact I miss people telling me how good of a cook I am and can be if I will only spend more time in the kitchen … coughs*

A test of endurance.

5.40am Malaysian Time