.: The tudung :.

Commonly known to the westerners as the headscarf.

The first time I adorned the headscarf was when I was 10. That was because I enrolled for religious classes and it was part of the dress code, along with the hijab. So I led two lives thereby during the morning classes I'll be in dresses and pinafores while during the afternoon classes in the other school, I'll be in hijab.

Turning point was when I was 12. It wasn't like I was getting pressurized from my parents or I am receiving peer pressure. I just told myself that it is high time that I stop being hypocritical. All along I had worn the headscarf on my own but I never got to wearing it the right way and the outcome always ended with the scarf looking lopsided and hair sticking out everywhere. *I used to joke around saying it's really my head that's uneven.* One fine morning, I brought the scarf to school and asked my good friend to demonstrate. Next thing I know, a group of girls gathered and lent uncountable hands. *I felt like barbie then.*

Over the years, I learnt various ways of wearing the headscarf. The easiest would be the one I worn in school, followed by the shawl. My friend taught me the art of wrapping the blasted thing as she knows how conveniently I misplace my brooches and pins. My sister calls me a Paki whenever I wear it and I'll wrangle with her by saying she's a racist. *but she's not. bickering, that's what sisters do.* Seems that she has difficulties keeping the wrap secure without using additional aid e.g. pins and the works. Then there are the other ways: using brooches, pins, additional scarves, clips and a bunch of other stuff that I never really got to learning. I do try it once a while and the end results each time is a lopsided effect, minus the hair. That's when my sister comes in and mends my destructive works. :)

Point is, all this while, I had been deceitful when it comes to the headscarf. And yes, I am fully aware of it. *I am most certainly not proud of it.*

This is a start.

11.59am Malaysian Time