.: Indelible speech :.

Resolution to live.

Self-Adopted Big Brother:: As a brother, I would like to advise you on a few things. You are too soft-spoken. Speaking to you is as if I'm speaking to my girlfriend, or my wife. I am not saying it is a bad thing, however I am worried for you. I am worried that other men might take it the other way, and you would not be able to fend yourself. It is not your nature but you have to be more firm. Cut your conversations short and always be vigilant of your conversations. If you sense there is an inclination towards the negative, immediately divert that focus away. Guard yourself at all times.

As a Muslimah, it takes a lot for me to ensure I behave within the Islamic code of ethics and speech when it comes to having discourses with the opposite gender. Double the effort since day in day out I typically deal with men.

Nevertheless, while strictly keeping in tune to the topic of discussion and evading sidetracked moments, undeniably there had been instances where I ponder upon whether I had done anything that could have tipped over the line. I may have been victorious in reducing eye contact, simplifying my conversations etc. but to what extent have I handled the other aspects such as in terms of ensuring I do not capture the opposite gender's fatal attraction on i.e. my intellectualism, mannerism even my eccentricities?

Therefore, whenever I catch myself in that spot, I will attempt to dispose myself from its grip by executing my inexhaustible list of avoidance techniques, namely by making a quick escape to the lavatory or any other place for that matter, fiddle with my cell, doodle or look elsewhere. I have even gone to the extent of limiting my correspondences particularly when men shoot statements that send me straight to paranoia land. i.e. "I just call you so I can hear your sweet voice." or "How's my cute and witty little girl doing?"

Some girls would adore such statements. Especially when it comes from good-looking, good-natured men. The kind of man who supposedly has the prospects to be a good husband. In my case, I freak out when I hear such statements.

Maybe because I'm just weird like that.

3.09pm Malaysian Time

. : Parsimonious imprints :.

Embody the trail.

Of late the recitation, rumination and reflection of the verses from the Holy Qur'an have become overwhelming to the soul, by where the luminary pearls kept within the secluded chambers in the heart at certain times cease the ability to be contained. The only way to release is by imploring and offering supplications to Allah, while letting fractions of it escape every now and then.

Speaks of the feeling I had throughout the momentous epic journey; the Hajj where I prayed to Allah to ensure this feeling never goes away because I so fear the thought of returning to the wretched darkness.

Kindling the light beneath the grim.

1.02am Malaysian Time

.: Vanishing memento :.

Luminary resolve.


This coming weekend I will insha'Allah step foot at Taylor's University Lakeside Campus as a student taking the short course "An Epic Journey: An in Depth Analysis of Surah Yusuf" organized by AlKauthar Institute Malaysia.


Being here as a student again affirms one minute detail ...

I miss my students.

4.56pm Malaysian Time

.: 说再见 :.

再见不会是永远。

听了你的问题，我不知道怎么说呢。因为我觉得你没那么年轻。现在你二十三岁。已经长大了。

我想问你；你认识他多就了？你们对彼此有感觉吗？你已经知道他还想念他的以前的女朋友，所以你为什么还想他呢？听我说，如果他不能爱上你，你可以等他吗？就算你可以等他，你不觉得你浪费时间吗？为了他，必要让自己煎熬吗？

"有缘无份的爱，真是有缘无份的爱"，你可以接受这种说法吗?

我明白现在你特别爱他，但是你应该好好想一想，是不是有可能你和他有点不合适? 我的意思是，请别盲目的爱他。问别人他们有什么想法对他。因为别人可以发现他是认真还是不认真。

还有，你去北京因为你要找更好的生活，对不对？你不是剩女，所以现在爱情不是最重要的事。你应该好好找一个好工作。努力工作，然后我相信你可以找到更好的男人。

最后是，我们都有一条生活。希望你给自己时间考虑这两件事。不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑吧~

The last essay I submitted to my teacher.

Note: Please use Google Translator or drop me an email for translations.

Collectively it had been close to 10 months since I began re-learning Chinese. There were days where I dreaded the thought of going to class, and there were days where I felt as though I am drifting aimlessly. Even though at times I behaved like a whiny baby in class, my teacher and classmates kept cheering me on. Supporting me all the way to excel to a point far beyond imaginable expectations.

Last Friday was my teacher's last day in Malaysia. His return to Beijing also marks the completion of our level 5 class, on which we will move on to level 6 or advanced classes with another teacher.

Despite having said this one too many times, I can't help but to say this once more ...

Thank you 刘老师.

2.17pm Malaysian Time

.: Mirrored convergance :.

Circumventing the hems.

Mum :: Some people think the duties of a mother end by the time the child reaches puberty, began working or has gotten married. Little do they know that the duties of a mother only end when she is nearing to her last breath because to a mother, her child will always be, a child.

Me :: And some people think that the duties of a child end by the time the child has gotten married. Little do they know that the duties of a child only end when she is nearing to her last breath because to a child, she will always be, someone's child. :)

My parents will insha'Allah leave for Saudi Arabia to conduct their umrah this 23rd June. Mum, as always, is worried of dad's health whereas dad, as always, is complacent of mum and her worries of his health.

Mum :: Speak to your dad. Remind him that he shouldn't wander off on his own or with strangers.

Dad :: Your mum is at it again ...

They are still here ...

But I am starting to miss them already.

9.54pm Malaysian Time

.: Little arcadia :.

Linked worlds.

"Shout to the world! Because we care for the children!"

The words of a friend

With the sun shinning high above our heads, we braced ourselves and hiked through what seemed like a never-ending timeless trail to the unknown. Completely surrounded by the wilderness; the majestic trees, flowing rivers and challenging path didn't deter us from going further into the forest. We were there on a quest, and we shall carry out that quest even if it means letting every single bloodsucker suck out every single drop of blood we had in us.

Little girl :: I don't want to learn English. It is difficult.

Me :: How about we do some simple word plays? I'll tell you a funny story based on this picture but I will mix the story with some English words. After I'm done, I will ask the items in English and you have to point it to me. After that, I will start asking the items in Malay and you have to point it to me and say it in English. I think that's fairly easy. :)

Several moments later.

Little girl :: That was fun! Can we do that with other pictures too? Tell me another story!

Some people have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy.

Abraham H. Maslow

The journey may had been wearisome to some of us city folks. However, the extensive amount of warmth, laughter and smiles from these little angels certainly made it worth all the while. Wherein within this little settlement which is appropriately tucked away from the hustles and bustles that city life has to offer, we made time and shared with them the basics of secular knowledge.

In return, these little angels with their inborn sense of wonder and pure innocence showed us the path to rediscover what it means to live a life filled with simplicity, meaning and gratitude to the brim. The very essence which enabled us to rejuvenate our entire lifeless souls to once again experience life in utter bliss, joy, excitement and mystery in a myriad of unimaginable ways.

Photo Credit :: Third photo courtesy of Lacoste Jay.

Unending yesterday.

1.02pm Malaysian Time

.: Book keepers :.

Advocating literacy.

Our Little Book Keepers

Initiated by Raleigh KL, the prime objectives for this project is to promote literacy among the children from the rural villages in Sabah as well as to create public awareness pertaining to their welfare.

Therefore, Raleigh KL aim to gather and send more than 211 books to children aged between 4 to 12 years old by 1st October 2011. The books; in English or Malay can be hand-me-downs (good condition) or new ones and the content should not consist of anything negative or relating to religion, death, illness, politics, divorce etc.

For more info, please visit their FB links:

1. FB Event
2. FB Page

Or you may email me directly. Whichever is more convenient. :)

。。。 ~ 。。。

Reading I supposed was one of the first forms of unrestricted indulgence I ever had, whereby my childhood centered around the works of Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, R.L. Stine, The Bookworm Club, fables and yes, those happily ever after fairy tales. It didn't take long for me to develop the excessive compulsive behavior of collecting every single book in the series or by the author and stashing it at every possible nook and cranny at home. Fortunately for me, I have an awesome family and they didn't mind one bit.

However, sometimes my mum and aunt will harp on me because my books are often scattered everywhere. I have it on my bed, in my bag, on my computer table, in the car, on my printer, in the living room, even on the bedroom floor! So every week I have to allocate some time just to sort and place them back on the shelves, in the drawers or if I can't find space, I'll seal them in boxes and store it in the storeroom. Just one of the nasty habits I have yet to overcome. Not that I'm planning to overcome it any sooner. :)

Hence, the moment I heard about this project, I went ballistic. For someone who has her nose stuck in books throughout most of her lifetime, I hope the children will enjoy the books as much as I did as I have the opinion that besides promoting literacy and instilling the love of reading, what we are really doing is to let them know that there are people out there who truly cares for them and their well-being.

For now the only gift we can offer is the gift of reading, but this gift comes with knowledge and may that knowledge open the paths for them to have a better future, insha'Allah. [God willing]

Grassroots level.

12.51 noon Malaysian Time