.: Masjid Ahmad :.

At Buona Vista, Singapore.

A matter of days left till the gates of Ramadhan close in on us. Haven't made specific plans for Eid, however the family had mutually came to a consensus to return to the Southern home for a quaint Eid celebration. After all, it has been close to 10 years since we last gathered there.  

Due to the close proximity between the Southern home and my motherland, I will most probably hop over to Singapore for a bit; seizing the occasion to strengthen the bonds of kinship and possibly badgering a couple of friends for a sip or two. 

Recollections.

4.20pm Malaysian Time

.: Luminous spectrum :.

Of a heart that speaks.

Sitting with the visually impaired and having casual chats with them can at more than one occasion be a remarkably profound experience. More often than not, the words that flow out of them are filled with traces of compassion and wisdom. Truth be told, they may not be able to see things in the physical sense, but their hearts made it possible for them to purge out the impurities, to see, to react to things in ways we seldom do. Patience, calmness, and gratitude; just a few of the many traits one can strive to learn from them. One only needs to stop for a moment, spend a bit of time, to feel what it feels to be them.

...............

If you are not patient upon seeking knowledge you (will have to) be patient upon the difficulty (misery) of ignorance.

Therefore I became ecstatic when I came to know my dearest Sketchedsoul has taken it upon herself to run a braille project! With the aim to empower these gifted individuals with the gift of knowledge, the funds collected will be used to purchase braille Qur'an, Muqaddam and Yasin. These items will then be distributed to children and adults residing in Malaysia, Gaza and Nigeria. 

As of today, she has managed to raise $1375, alhamdulillah. Hopefully she will reach her $2540 mark by Eid, insha'Allah!  

Hop on over to her blog for more info :: http://sketchedsoul.blogspot.com/

Eid is fast approaching.

6.17am Malaysian Time

.: Sunday tidbit :.

As though time stood still.

Shifted to the new environment. Things started off looking rather hazy for me, and somewhere in between, I begin to develop insecurities. I wasn't sure where I was heading to, and I wasn't sure what to anticipate. As though all I had was a rickety raft to hold on to as I allow myself to be drifted away into this peculiar and uncharted territory. 

Soon enough it was time for lunch. Took a walk along the pavements, and snatched one or two glances at a couple of shops. Walked a little further and found myself in an old neighbourhood. There were chickens running around and I saw an elderly Chinese lady wearing the traditional Chinese attire making her way to the market; an uncommon sight for me. From a distance. a cobbler sat at the sidewalk. Beads of sweat streamed down his face as he skillfully hammered the soles. And just like that I found myself surrounded by shops with old signboards. Had I somehow rather transported myself into a bygone era? 

Dramas aside, I walked back to where I came from. There I stood, at the crossroads between the bygone past and the subsequent future. Lost in thought until a boy with his brother rode a bicycle past me, smiling gleefully as they disappeared into the throngs of people. I suppose, life at the new place, will not be that boresome afterall.

Ramadan mubarak! :)

10.07pm Malaysian Time

.: ما منعك إلا ليعطيك :.

Metamorphosis.

A drop of ephemeral happiness is better than a lifetime of misery.

The transitory period has ended as once more I gingerly make my way into the corridors of the university of life, as a student, desperate in her attempt to grasp a better and viable comprehension of this shadowy life. Come this Saturday, if my health and God permit it, I will be at University Malaya attending the final weekend of Rays of Faith: Doctrines of Faith III, as taught by Shaykh Waleed Basyouni, the Vice President of AlMaghrib Institute. 

Philippines Sister :: You have attended so many AlMaghrib courses! Masha'Allah!

That statement catapulted a whirl of thoughts. Back to the time where I throttled endless questions asking God, the why, the what, the when, the how, but by far, after all those years, I had the presumption that nothing comes into light. Just when it appears as though one has reached the end of the passage, the doors begin to crack open, one at a time. Within a span of 4 years, the uncertainties, are answered. All that is left, is a continuous pursuit.

Closing in.

6.48pm Malaysian Time

.: 変わらぬ心 :.

Memories in the rain. 

If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and the sky, who in all eternity will never mingle, would I be able to bind two hearts together?

Orihime, Bleach

The station of reliance.

8.01am Malaysian Time

.: Madaarij as-saalikeen :.

By LegacyQuills.

As I was finding my ways to a heart serene
I discovered creeks and alleyways
Streets and avenues and dark hallways
Uncovered by the bitter truths of Madarij as-saalikeen
The warning at the crossways of my heart’s arteries
Reads “your deen is in need for your mind to intervene
and your soul to control its foolish desires for the world”

I needed to jump start my heart
from the state of heedlessness to the state of awareness
And it only made sense that I needed to smack my soul out of negligence
Before it got purified on the day of a 50,000 year equivalence.
From which torturous torment in Jahannam is its derivative
From a fuming fire 70 times the world’s corrosive
And alarming danger is where my soul is.

So I knew that before my last breath is when my soul needs purity
And for that I’d need a bloodless open-heart surgery
To cleanse my body’s faculties, from evils, lies, and perjury
So write this down in gold says Shaykh Riadh Ourzazi,
My next station was to identify the problem at self-accountability.
But that was a bit discouraging cuz my list of sins almost seemed at infinite

It seems as though my soul is prone to evil and disobedience.
But Allah paved the way to repentance for my convenience.
Sincerity in the request for forgiveness,
Or a mere handshake will cause my sins to diminish.
A return to my Lord causes Him to increase in happiness
More so than he who called out “I am your Lord, and you are my servant”
So before I move on, I must first question my repentance
And remain in my stance of steadfastness

And I will do this by means of the station of Reminders
Where I block the shaytan from my inner whims and desires
So that when the Quran is heard my healthy heart never tires.
Ya Hayyu ya Qayyum, laaa ilaha illa anta And feel my heart enlighten
Clearing the diseases of the heart while its colour whitens.
Seeing that rich red strawberry brighten.

As it pumps that rich fluid of emotion
It elevates me further to the station of devotion
Longing for salah like the fish long for the ocean
Aspiring to be like the sahabah who stood still without motion
Or aspiring to have the khushu’ of Hatim al-Assum
Who imagined the ka3ba infront of him
Jannah to the right of him
Jahannum to the left of him
Malik al-Mawt directly behind him
The sirat beneath him
All the while Allah was watching him

This would then lead me to the station of vigilance
Adding the element of general and specific togetherness
Knowing that Allah is closer to me than where my own jugular vein is
I’m on 24-hour surveillance – not by CSIS, but by Allah and His guardian angels.
So I gotta watch what I do as I move to the station of perseverance
Don’t you know that its cuz Allah loves you that He tests your patience
So preserve in keeping your soul in restraint and confinement
“Allahuma ajirnee fi museebati, wakhlufli khayran minha”
Allah assured us that the reward is in abundance
I want to be greeted by the Angels in Jannah, don’t you?

So lets go together to the station of self-realization
Understand that disobeying Allah and being pleased with Him as your Lord is a contradiction.
So be sincerely pleased with Him and be under His protection
To be pleased with the Prophet is to follow him in his soorah, seera and sariyya, his looks, life and intentions.

So by this I shall move to the station of sincerity
Remembering that Jahanam first takes the hafidh, the warrior, and one who gave in charity
Because in their hearts their was no purity
So as I stand before you right now I gotta check my heart forces
A second, third, and fourth prognosis.
Before Allah sends me His own diagnosis.
Oh Allah teach my nafs what control is.
Cuz my soul is … in need to be 1 of 70,000
Who didn’t seek ruqya or believe in bad omens.
This brings us to station of reliance.

Hasbiya Allah laa ilaha illa hu wa ni’m al-wakeel.
And suddenly the degree of remembrance I’m starting to feel
SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar goes my heart wheel
Pumping love and longing for Allah to a higher degree
Bringing us to the station of happiness for which all of mankind agree
But it’s only in our hands cuz of our belief in the Divine Decree

So I pray to Allah to keep me steadfast on this station of supplication
Where I find my self in the midst of contemplation
About the essence of my creation and my changing situation
O Allah make the tour of Jannah my realization and my ultimate destination
O Nafs, I ask you, no I implore you to fear no temptation
To start the process of purification

And so my mind intervenes
Studying the itinerary of Madarij as-Salikeen
And I pray, I, along with all of you, have found ourselves – a heart serene.

Home once more. 

1.02pm Malaysian Time

.: Vanishing innocence :.

Life is a fading shadow.

“O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish; falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity”

Ibn al-Qayyim

Less than 5 hours till I board the bus heading to Singapore to resume my studies in the "A Heart Serene" course; making this the second and final weekend where we shall delve deeper into the works of Ibn Al-Qayyim, insha'Allah. 

Having had the opportunity to read the works of Ibn Al-Qayyim in the past, it awakened a side of me that brought tears to the eyes, heart and soul due to its relevance and profoundness to the ephemeral life I embraced then. Little do I know that even after all those years, his works still produce a massive impact on me, on multiple levels. 

Stirring emotions from within. 

7.05am Malaysian Time