.: Journey of faith :.

Hajj confession.

To be honest, I believe we were brought back, or given a second chance purely by the mercy of Allah. We were born in Islam, yet we didn't have Islam. We have the knowledge, we have the practical, but we do not have the spiritual awakening, we do not have wisdom, we do not have the understanding. That is what most born Muslims face. Faith cannot be inherited. It must be cultivated.

Has there ever been a day where the mist disappears even for a split second? Swathed by the wretched pitch darkness of the past, one eventually finds the pleasant momentary bliss that felt as though it could last for all eternity. Thus the once lost traveler embarks on a journey of struggles, to continue living, and holding firmly onto His rope with each passing breath, hoping that He will keep her steadfast in the deen till her very last breath. During times like these, it is so much easier to let the tears fall from the sky, and to be entirely engulfed by it.

Faith cultivation is a lifelong process.

2.52pm Malaysian Time

.: Corn muffins :.

'tis the season to be jolly.

In conjunction with the X'mas season, Kenny Roger's is running the "Making Wishes Come True" programme, where they have these little cards with a child's' name together with his/her wish hung on a X'mas tree.

Running something similar next year insha'Allah.

12.13 noon Malaysian Time

.: Weightless passage :.

I was in Singapore.

As I haven't gone through the checkpoint in years, I had forgotten this tiny fact that I can no longer breeze through Singapore customs. So there I was, waiting and texting friends telling them I will be fashionably late due to the fantastic morning crawl. I suppose that was what my classmates had to endure 17 years ago when we crossed national borders in the early mornings for school. With a map (in the bag) and my mum's ezlink pass, just as I was about to get on the bus heading Kranji MRT, mum, gave a call;

"Are you in Singapore yet? Call us if there is anything! Call us!!!"

Mum did the exact thing when I was in China.

"Are you in China yet? Call us if there is anything! Call us!!!"

That wasn't the only thing. I spent a huge bulk of my time going places with friends in China, and mum knowing this, specifically said;

"Stick with your friends. Don't stray away!"

True enough, mum said the same thing too while I was in Singapore. After all those years, I figured it was quite cute of mum to worry about me even though I am certainly no longer that little girl who was once upon a time petrified of her own shadow. So I tried to console mum over the phone, as how I often did whenever mum starts questioning who I'm with and where I'm at. And mum, being mum, probed further when it came to the juicy bits (under her definition).

"Who's the guy? Do I know him? What is his number? Are you sure he is a good person? Is he there? Can I speak to him? Do you need your father to speak to him?"

Mum, and her cute antics.

2.40pm Malaysian Time

.: Faded darkness :.

The food cart.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.

Plato

Whenever she sees me loitering around the vicinity, she will call out to me to come over. Once she is done with attending to her customers, she will then kindly ask me about my well being. Sometimes she gives me food, sometimes she gives me money. She never lets me leave with nothing in hand.

All along I thought that I have nowhere to go to, that I have no one, that I have nothing and I am nothing. Her gesture made me feel that I can do something, that I should do something, and that I can be something.

-----

Two weeks passed since then.

2.04am Malaysian Time

.: Ipomoea aquatica :.

The water spinach.

Of all the wonderful things in the wonderful universe of God, nothing seems to me more surprising than the planting of a seed in the blank earth and the result thereof.

Julie Moir Messervy

With each passing day, one discovers utmost joy in patiently and tirelessly monitoring the progress of these little things, that sprout from a few tiny little seeds.

Gardening, I suppose, will be a form of alternative therapy for me.

Day 4 for the kangkung. :)

8.00pm Malaysian Time

.: Great expectations :.

Of the dumbing down society.

Sis :: I saw this good looking guy! But he is around your age!
Me :: Eh? You're not thinking of matchmaking me with him, are you? *sis still has this sick fetish. the nerve.*
Sis :: Hey, remember that other good looking guy?
Me :: What guy?
Sis :: Oh. I forgot. You don't take notice of guys.
Me :: Try working with guys, guys and more guys.
Sis :: Some people have all the luck. How do you remain focused?
Me :: Simple. One of my ways to keep my sanity intact is by deeming all guys are married. Works like magic! :D
Sis :: You are one sick girl.

As a matter of fact my health is presently under siege. Blood test results indicate my blood is infested with bacterias that is making me lethargic to the core. *which explains why I can instantly conk out the instant my head touches the pillow* On the flipside, this means I can slack at home, drink yakult by the gallons to purge those bad bacteria out and catch up on some good 'ole youtubing whenever I regain consciousness.

Not half bad I say.

7.13pm Malaysian Time

.: 想要的回忆 :.

Desired memories.

Our room faced the lake at Taylor's University College Lakeside campus in Petaling Jaya. There was just enough space for me to sit at the window of our room at Ruemz hotel, the perfect place for me to browse through my AlMaghrib class notes. Once in a while I will glance over at the sisters and join in the conversations, speaking as though we have known each other for ages when in actual fact, it was just the week before we became acquainted to one another.

It was that very week, in the afternoon, when one of the sisters came up to me and said;

I know we are supposed to do this solely for the sake of Allah, for the sake of our Lord, but I cannot help but feel that after we try so hard to assist the people as much as we can, we just end up feeling unappreciated. How do I overcome this feeling?

I smiled at her and responded with;

What we have to go through, is nothing as compared to what the Prophet had to go through. How did the Prophet feel when he tried so hard to give them the truth, yet they chose to hurt him instead? What did he do to overcome that? Remember our purpose. We are here to sincerely assist people, and by doing so, we hope to have our deeds recognised and accepted by Allah, Allah alone and not by someone else. Keep that in mind. :)

Soon after, I gave her a hug and we resumed our designated tasks. Later in the evening, the same sister came up to me saying she needed to tell me something. She hesitated for a while, tried to utter a few words, stuttered something somewhere in the middle, and I was still there, waiting anxiously for her to get it off her system. When it eventually came out, it just made the wait all the more worthwhile.

I love you for the sake of Allah sis. I really really do. May Allah reward you for helping me out earlier. :)

Despite being tremendously tired and weary after a long day at Taylor's, her words, and her hug gave me the last bit of strength to say;

I love you for the sake of Allah too sis. If you ever catch me having one of those low moments, please remind me too. :)

我想念她们。

9.45pm Malaysian Time