.: Being Me 2015 P1 :.

Love, Aisha.

The wonderful thing about attending knowledge gatherings is one can always count on each other to share the lessons learned. For this particular event, alhamdulillah, an old friend of mine had shared the following lessons:

GEMS from Shaykhaa Wafaa Hussain Yee 

1. Why is it more difficult to maintain your marriage with your husband than friendship with your sisters? Because shaytan always work on breaking a marriage. 
2. The nucleus family consists of the husband, wife and children. The nucleus family is the root of the society.  
3. When the root is problematic, then the tree (society) will be sick. So shaytan always work on destroying the roots. 
4. From the hadeeth, when shaytan reports to their leader that they made people kill each other, the leader said: "You did nothing". But when one shaytan said that it had caused a man and a woman to divorce, then the leader said: "This is shaytan's biggest success". 
5. If you behave like a queen to your husband, then your husband will behave like a king to you and your marriage will be difficult. Behave like a slave and he will also behave like a slave.
6. In the end, men look at your heart rather than your looks.
7. Men should not seek for a beautiful wife, rather seek beauty in your wife.
8. Know the rights of your spouse before yours.
9. The more you have expectations in your spouse, the more you will be disappointed. 
10. Say alhamdulillah even if things are hard.
11. "Please", "sorry", "thank you" - always say these three phrases. Don't be arrogant: Not saying "thank you" because you think it is your spouse's responsibility to do things for you. 
12. Your dua is never unheard.
13. End the circle of hate. Start goodness.
14. Relationships are tested at the time of hardships.
15. Listen attentively to your spouse, give them your time.
16. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
17. Don't be the typical woman, be a muslim woman.
18. The tongue can be a very destructive weapon so much that it can destroy life.
19. When you do a lot, but also complain a lot, then you will still be disliked. Grannies who don't do much but are always nice and say good things will be loved. So watch your words. 
20. When we get angry, our mind will blackout, so it is best to stay silent. Even if we want to say something good, the tone will be bad. So only speak after we have calmed down. 
21. Words that come from our mouth will go into someone's heart 
22. If you are bad at expressing your feelings by talking, then write a letter. You need to explain your feelings to your husband because men don't understand it. 
23. If your husband fears Allah SWT, then you have nothing to fear. You will trust him. 
24. As how you don't want to be compared, don't compare your man to others. 
25. Constantly check your intention. Purify it.

I will insha'Allah share my notes within the next couple of days. By all means, please feel free to share and extend the khayr for the benefit of others. 

May Allah SWT keep us sincere in our intentions and may He make it easy for all of us to implement the knowledge shared, in our daily lives, Allahumma ameen. 

Part one. 

12.31noon, Malaysian Time

.: Twisted perception :.

All that is glitter. 

The girl sits in a corner. She chews on her hair as she rocks herself to a soft lullaby. Gazing at the floor, her eyes sparkle like the stars illuminating the silvery night sky. Ironically, the same set of eyes reflect the depths of an empty soul. 

She had dreamed of being beautiful. She had read all the beauty magazines. She had idolized the celebrities and felt drawn towards their perfection. She believed in them when they said she could be beautiful too. She wanted to be just like them and become an inspiration to other girls. Girls like her.

Little did she knew that her dream would soon became a nightmare and she would remain imprisoned in the reality that she had so believed would be hers. A reality that for now has succeeded in controlling every single ounce of her life.  

The girl chuckles. 

Upon seeing an audience, she stands up, straightens the lines of her skirt and begins humming a little tune. She soon breaks into a song and dances around the room in sheer ecstasy. She is now lost in her world. A world where she is a figure of adoration.

Her singing eventually became louder and louder that her piercing screams penetrated through every nook and cranny of the room. And her screams finally revealed her silent cries of help. 

“I’m beautiful, aren’t I? They told me I’m beautiful. They said I’m a star!” 

They brought her back into her room. As she sits in her corner, chewing on her hair, and gently rocking herself to a soft lullaby, she scribbles these words on the wall: 

“I’m a star.”

And she chuckles.

Is not gold.

6.44pm, Malaysian Time

.: Chasing Jannah :.

Ahlan ya Ramadhan. 

One of the deeds often connected with the blessed month of Ramadhan is giving sadaqah or donations. Donations are often given in various forms, be it monetary, resources, time or even as simple as a smile. 

For those who would like to perform this good deed, you could do it as an individual or better still, gather your loved ones and do it as a collective effort. 

Whether you are a Muslim or a non-Muslim, and whether it is Ramadhan or any other months, I wholeheartedly believe we can all play a role in offering assistance to others. By helping others, we are developing ourselves to become better people. 

Places for you to channel your donations, insha’Allah: 

Mount Kinabalu Guides Association (Pemangkina) 

CIMB Bank Account No: 8005609923 

Community Recycle for Charity 

Islamic Relief Malaysia 

Rohingya . Syria . Yemen . Nepal . Palestine 

AlMaghrib Impact 

General . Malaysia . Singapore

If you may, please take this moment to utter a prayer for those who lost their lives during the recent earthquake in Sabah. Offer your prayers too to those who are undergoing difficulties in their lives.

May Allah SWT reward you for the good that you do and may He keep you under His guidance at all times, Allahumma ameen. 

Every life matter.

9.39pm, Malaysian Time

.: Shedding restrictions :.

Second guessing limitations.

Back from Incitement Ipoh. I reckon most would have written or shared about the contents, speakers, event flow, or possibly, the organisers. On my part, I prefer to highlight the little things that people often take for granted, but for some, these are the things that left indelible prints on them. Before anyone starts to hurl a tirade of conflicting statements, let me say that these are my personal thoughts. 

The adhan

As a Muslim, it felt really nice when the organisers kept silent throughout the adhan. Not many would do so. In fact, I have never been to an event in Malaysia, organised by non-Muslims, that actually does so. For that, I take my imaginary hat off them. 

Not saying that it is a must for non-Muslims to respect the adhan, but I personally felt it was a well-thought gesture. A week has passed and I still think it was nice of them. 

The volunteers

There is a warm feeling when you see young people volunteering their time for something they passionately believe could bring immense benefits to others. The fact that some travelled back to Ipoh just to help out is a commendable trait and I admire their spirit. 

Having spoken to a couple of them, I would say that in some ways their warmth and energy had played a significant role in making my trip all the more worthwhile. 

And as bonkers as this may sound, I would actually consider attending the next Incitement Ipoh event solely because of these two reasons. 

So for those in Ipoh or those thinking of taking a break away from chaotic KL, perhaps you can consider to pop by the event. One of their speakers is Dato’ Lat - the guy whose comics gave this city girl a glimpse of how a kampung and a simple life can be. 

Eventbrite :: Limitless by Incitement Ipoh

Facebook :: Limitless by Incitement Ipoh

At least challenge yourself to experience it once and if you like it, and if I can make it, we could probably catch-up at Incitement Ipoh's event in July, insha’Allah. I will be the introverted individual who camouflages in the background - the female version of the legendary gollum. 

Disclaimer: I am not a part of the Incitement team in Ipoh nor am I a part of the Incitement movement. I am just someone who happens to enjoy seeing enthusiastic young people doing worthwhile things. :)

Happy days.

3.08pm, Malaysian Time

.: Dwindling passages :.

Early hours.

After saying so much, it seems like all words only fall on deaf ears. Thus one chooses to remain silent, hoping that the silence will one day be understood, despite knowing how futile this stance may be. 

Before long, the silence will soon be forgotten, along with the care, and the feelings that came with it. Eroding the relationship further to scattered dust.

Tired soul.

6.25am, Malaysian Time

.: Incitement Ipoh :.

Limau  bali?

It has been a long while since I made myself available to attend any events out of KL. As I have more time to spare now a friend asked whether I would like to attend the one in Ipoh. 

The brutal truth is I have never explored Ipoh. To add more insult to the injury, I am absolutely clueless on what Ipoh has to offer, besides food, food and even more glorious food. But I thought maybe, just maybe, there is more to Ipoh than meets the eye. So my friend led me to the event's Eventbrite page: Incitement Ipoh

Nice looking banner. Concise information. And they even have a Facebook page! Neat!

My friend had attended the previous session. Needless to say, he was generous in sharing his experience. According to him, the upcoming event has speakers, and attendees can network, share and do a wicked exchange of experiences and ideas. 

Despite having attended events in KL with similar concepts, I am intrigued to see how the organisers in Ipoh run the show. Reckon it would be a breath of fresh air. I am certainly looking forward to acquiring new experiences and getting to know new people. 

So now that I have my trip all sorted out, I am all set to attend Incitement Ipoh! 

Even when it means I have to miss another event. :)

3.10pm, Malaysian Time 

.: Healing hands :.

Reaching out.

Out of desperation, a friend of mine and her children are forced to ask for donations to support their relocation expenses. 

You can read more about their situation through this site: http://www.gofundme.com/sakags

This friend is like a sister to me. It pains me knowing that I can only do so much. Add in the fact that she is in another country, and I can't physically be there for her, makes it all the more unbearable.

If you're able to offer any assistance, please by all means, do so. 

A little can really go a long way.

Thank you so much.

3.21pm, Malaysian Time