Thursday, February 26, 2009

.: Chapters in life :.


Starting anew.

The brother behaved indecently. Part of me would love to pummel him *he seems to be a good practice subject* The other wanted to engage him in intellectual preaching sessions. *had a hunch it'll be a horrific experience for him* Leveraging the situation, in doing so may prolong or worsen it, I opted to get off the vehicle.

Note:: There are people that use invocations on a daily basis in their conversations, and I have my utmost respect on them. This post is more of a self-reflection directed on my part, in saying it in speech or having it in writing.
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The whole time, I wanted to launch a tirade on the accounts to someone, anyone. Ended up murmuring invocations, that reduced my fury. Then it occurred to me, just when did I start uttering it as if it is a normalcy? Do I mean it?

Never favor the idea of “just saying it” or “for the sake of saying it”. Simply repeating it thousands of times without a clear understanding of the substance, I suppose removes every single essence it harbored. Hence, I thought to myself, am I becoming the kind of person that I so had despised to be?

Used to reciting certain Surahs by memory while being oblivious to its meanings, I’m trying to set things right by going through materials on top of learning Arabic. *Alhamdulillah, my sister decided to enroll with me, class starts this Sunday*

Citing a partial section of a sermon in a Malaysian congregational prayer, "We are well versed in our recitals. Some can even read like the Arabs yet unfortunately, not many understand the context let alone the gist of it."

It’s like the blind, following the blind so to speak.
4.16pm Malaysian Time

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

.: Buah berangan :.


Water chestnuts.


Me:: Uncle! I wanna take your photo! || Uncle:: Eh?
Me:: Uncle! Smile!
|| Uncle:: *smile*


Direct translations of buah berangan from Malay to English is, daydreaming fruit. Mum used to buy loads of it from her workplace, thus explains why I was *still am* a daydreamer. Photos were taken at Petaling Street, Kuala Lumpur. Twas my first time here. Used to be a taboo area for me, imposed by my brother and friends. Apparently, they said one can find Chinese gangsters there.

Can't say I was prowling around to find one ...

8.23pm Malaysian Time

.: Home and away :.


The lives of the expats.

Some of my married friends left their family back in their home country when they decided to migrate to Malaysia for work, only to return home during festivities or breaks. I frequently find myself intrigued on their capabilities to deal with it. Several of my married friends, still stuck with their husband *coughs* detest the thought of being away even for the quickest absence of time, with one stating if need to be she’ll follow her husband wherever he goes so that she never loses sight of him. *she’s seriously keeping into the whole deal of, 'till death do us part' for real* I won’t condemn such reactions on the basis of lack of trust, insecurity, clingy or etc. and try to see it in a positive light. I’m still working on that.

Occasionally, when new faces arrive, friends go all disoriented in finding whether he/she jumped in the bandwagon of the lot that left the family. Common statements like; I can’t believe you ditch your family! Or They must be crying right now! On top of the classic, Why didn’t you bring them here? suitably blends into our conversations.

Honestly, it’s mind-boggling how the expats are able to come up with their idiosyncratic responses to such queries without illustrating any form of agitation by it. Other friends that go to their rescue, save the day with, Mind your own business! It’s terrible enough they have to leave home! You’re only alienating them by doing this!

It’s funny when a few advised me to stay clear from these people, indicating that some may take me as fair game. Friends being friends are only keeping a lookout for me.

I’m also asked to keep my distance from the singletons; that might be married, but pretends to be available. For the record, up there in that twisted mind of mine, I regard all guys as married, particularly when they claim they’re not. Every other guy is seen as granddad, uncle, brother or else when I’m sick in the mind, son level. *I’ve yet to find anyone that can stoop to be worthy of the grandson status* Hence, I’ll say I pretty much covered on setting my distance.

Friend:: You know what, you’re my very first Malay girl friend.
Me:: Dude, that sounds so wrong.
Friend:: Haha~ You’re funny.
Me:: I’m not being funny. It really does sound wrong.
Friend:: Haha~

The stares of disbelief I got after that.
10.39am Malaysian Time

Sunday, February 22, 2009

.: On garments :.


Going all traditional.

Friend:: I take my hat off the Malays and Indians. They are proud to wear their traditional costume anywhere. Us Chinese prefer to wear your traditional costumes instead of our own.

Prior to Chinese New Year, I visited friends in my former workplace. Like most days, I wore the Baju Kurung, the Malay traditional attire for girls, hence that sparked the remark from my friend.

Frankly, I seldom see Chinese adorning their traditional gear, though I’m in agreement on other races wearing the traditional attires of other races. Over here, it’s common to see Chinese wearing Indian or Malay clothes, vice versa. There are also instances whereby the public wears Arab, Portuguese, Korean, Japanese etc. traditional attire.

Considering I have loads of Baju Kurung, I don’t see any reason not to wear it. In Madinah, sis got me to purchase an abaya. It’s still hanging in the closet, like some kind of overdue party dress never to be worn, *believe me, it does look like that. Sis was raving on how it looks like something out of a fairytale. Alas, what was I thinking then?* I strongly believe that its sole purpose is meant to collect dust or otherwise to be infested with moth holes. As for the other races traditional attire, I have worn the cheongsam. In my kiddy years, cousins and I experimented with bales of cloth mimicking the way Indians twirl their saris, although that doesn’t count since we were merely fooling around. I do however have a dress, a synthesis of Indian and Malay, made from sari material. *one of the rare moments when I allow the tailor to go crazy on the creation; I guess the material must had provided the inspiration*

  • Do you wear your traditional clothes, excluding festive days?
  • Do you wear the traditional clothes of other races?
  • What do you think of other races wearing your traditional clothes?

I have friends that are alright with it, whilst some are totally against it. As for me, as long as it is within my dress code boundaries, I'm fine with it.

What's your take on this?
9.37 Malaysian Time

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

.: Only human :.


The day I trampled on my friend's nerves.


There were limited people that knew I was going for Hajj. The few that knew had almost the exact question …

"Don’t you think you’re a bit too young for Hajj?"

As far as I’m concerned, my Bruneian friends went for theirs in their early teens.

I kept the matter hushed up till the last day of work, when I text my other friends telling them about it. *I can’t let them think that I’ve gone missing again* Throughout that day, I have friends coming over my place giving me well wishes etc. That’s when I realize I have a considerably large network of sisters. Naturally, I expected friends to request me to supplicate for them. Some did whilst some stunned me for a while.

Friends:: So, after you’ve prayed for us, we want you to pray for yourself.
Me:: I can’t promise that I’ll convey all your wishes, but Insya’Allah. And it’d be strange if I don’t pray for myself too.
Friends:: We are referring that you'll pray on marriage. You know, you getting married and stuff. Getting the right guy. You don't need us to spell it out, do you?
Me:: Owh that. Well uhh … again, no promises. Uhh, thanks for the reminder. :)

Yeah, I was stunned. *coughs ... strange that they didn’t think I’m too young for marriage … coughs* It’s a good thing I left my cell at home cos I received similar texts.

And I totally forgot to ask. No, it wasn’t intentional. I really did forget. I may have asked for it indirectly though. When friends found out, this was their reaction …

YOU FORGOT?! USELESS!

Classic. :)
9.50am Malaysian Time

Monday, February 16, 2009

.: Breaking barriers :.


Exposing oneself.

A year plus since I started the blog. Started as an outlet to jot down Hajj narratives, evolved into the inclusion of multiple other anecdotes. In the same way, this applies to other correspondences i.e. emails with the blog as the catalyst.

Within each post, in staying true to the context; the flair, the prose, the responses, the photographs, what are the portrayals I may have envisaged to others about me?

The degree of the anonymous, secrecy and mysteriousness, I reason on it collectively. The perceptions in particular.

In view of that, in general to what extent have I divulged myself?

These things whether it is a negative or positive outlook do not have a direct significance to me, therein I am yet to be left mystified by the speculations.

Baffled.
4.26pm Malaysian Time

Sunday, February 15, 2009

.: Dancing queen :.


One of the cultural lineup performed at KL Sentral a couple of months ago.

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life,
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen.

~Dancing Queen, ABBA

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

~Japanese Proverb

Dancing in all its forms cannot be excluded from the curriculum of all noble education; dancing with the feet, with ideas, with words, and, need I add that one must also be able to dance with the pen?

~Friedrich Nietzsche
It'd been 4 years since I last danced.
10.27pm Malaysian Time